The story of a former abuser who sincerely repented of his sins

Thousands of women around the world suffer from emotional and physical pressure from their partner. Every year, the topic of abuse becomes more acute. Fortunately, sooner or later, the hostage of such a relationship can start anew. But does it deserve a second chance? ex-abuse? Today, the editorial board wants to look at such a difficult problem from a different angle. We will talk about the feelings of a man who realized all his mistakes.



Unfortunately, not all women understand that they are in abusive relationships. After all, they can manifest themselves in various aspects. The most obvious of these is physical pressure. For example, seemingly innocent pinches and slaps that can escalate into the use of serious force. A male abusive can keep his companion near him, limiting her movement.



If everything is quite transparent, then emotional and psychological pressure is not immediately recognized. A partner can insult a woman, devalue her, shout, threaten and manipulate. Especially sneaky abusers often resort to gaslighting. Earlier, we wrote about this problem in more detail.

By the way, if your man forbids you to work or study, this is also considered an abuse. Just like any compulsion to do anything. Here we send total control over expenses and disregard for the personal opinion of women.

People change? To get out of abusive relationships, women often need to more than endure. It is often necessary to seek help from appropriate services and psychologists. However, if everything is clear with the victim of pressure, how can the abuser feel?



Some say that there are no ex-abuses. Others believe that people change. I am inclined to think that each of us has the right to recognize our mistakes and at least not to make them again. Let’s try to delve into this topic with the example of a man who managed to break the vicious circle of abuse.

“Girl relationships have never been easy for me. I loved getting a woman and doing everything I could to keep her under my control. Jealousy, reproaches, cries, hidden resentments and passive aggression went with me. Now I understand that I liked to bring my companions to a state of despair, says Alexander.



“At one point I thought I was ready to start a family and settle down. For years I lived with a girl under the same roof. But our relationship was strained and complicated. Eventually she left me, even though I really loved her. I realized that the problem exists and it is primarily in me, the man continues.

The former abuser did not go around the bush and turned to a psychologist. Working with a specialist has borne fruit. Alexander began to analyze all his actions and realized exactly where he was wrong. However, the fear of new relationships only increased.

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He said, After a year with a psychologist, I fell in love. I was able to get rid of some of the abuse from the past forever. However, there were moments that were not obvious and difficult for me. Then I realized I had to talk to my girlfriend honestly. She was moved by my candor and reciprocated. Thanks to her tips, I realized what might make her uncomfortable.”

“I do not believe that I have fully recovered. But I work on myself every day. Now I understand what words and actions can hurt a person dear to me, and I do not do this anymore.

From the editorial, you can say that this story is more of an exception to the rule. However, I like to believe that a person who thinks and can analyze will sooner or later come to the solution of his problems. Also, it is important to understand that a man becomes an abuser for a reason.



For example, a person might have survived. traumatic experience in childhood. Or he's just a hostage to gender stereotypes that dictate that a woman must obey. Serious addictions and clinical diagnoses are also not canceled.

To help the former abuser, first of all, experts find out the causes of abusive behavior. Psychologists offer alternative behaviors, look into the depth of the problem, analyzing every aspect of it. Not everyone can cope with this on their own.



The subject of abuse is no longer taboo. It became the subject of discussion of specialists and other, including famous people. Documentaries are made about this, videos and even songs are dedicated to this.

One of those I want to share with you last. The track “Mutual Happiness” performed by the hip-hop group Casta and musician Ivan Dorn is a modern interpretation of the current problem. Put aside all prejudices and do not close your eyes to what, unfortunately, surrounds us.