After 40, it's much harder. Talking to a friend about a relationship, is passion and all this not to return?

Relationships after 40 They often lose the passion and passion they had in their youth. Ladies who have repeatedly stepped on love rakes are wary of courtship of the opposite sex, making a lot of claims and demands to the partner.





Not surprisingly, love after 40 Both men and women are afraid. Some do not believe in it, referring to the fact that since the hormones have subsided, then there can be no talk of any violent attraction.





A friend of mine, because of such love doubts, turned to a therapist for help. It turned out that in addition to the above, the main obstacle to a harmonious union was her fears and projections on new relationships. All the negative experience from communication with her previous husband and boyfriends, she, like a banner, carried to a new family. Without noticing it, the friend provoked another breakup.





The therapist talked with her for a long time, trying to find all the pitfalls of her past life, and then suggested doing a small exercise that helps prepare for a new relationship. The essence of the exercise is to determine for yourself the most important qualities of the future chosen one.





To do this, you need to arm yourself with a clean sheet of paper and a pen. Four columns should be drawn on paper. In the first column, you need to enter those qualities of the chosen one that are extremely important to you.





The second column contains shortcomings that are unacceptable. In the third - those imperfections that you can come to terms with, and in the fourth - what you can offer your partner. The more evenly the table is filled, the more chances a person has to find a good life partner.





Fears are also a big obstacle to harmonious relationships. My friend, for example, was terrified of being sexually unattractive to a man. The woman was also concerned about the perception of the new satellite by her children: “What to do if they do not like it?” ?





In this case, the therapist advised me to repeat these lines as a mantra: “The child is not my property, therefore I am not the property of the child.” That is why I have every right to personal happiness.”





Also to combat personal fears, there are excellent psychotechnics that help to look fear directly in the face. To do this, you need to retire and set an alarm clock, which will work in exactly 30 minutes.





This time should be devoted to your fears. You should think of the most exciting situations, as if they have already happened: you have become less attractive, your husband has stopped paying attention, the children are out of hand.





When the alarm goes off, you should wash and continue to live an ordinary life, not allowing creepy thoughts to steal your time. The exercise should be repeated within a week.

By the way, after three months of hard work on herself, my friend managed to say goodbye to all the mental garbage that prevented her from living. Today she meets a very positive man who literally idolizes her.

We wish all our readers to find family happiness and harmony! Be sure to share this article with your friends.