Signs of a lack of love

The famous psychologist and philosopher Anna Kiryanova is known by many as a TV presenter, author of books, articles, notes and even poems. Recently, the editorial attention "Site" She was attracted to her new article on a very sensitive and painful topic - the lack of love in relationships. A person may be sure that he feels love, but in fact he is indifferent. Why is this so, and what is dislike?





To an unloved person does not necessarily experience hatred, show obvious aggression or violence. An unloved person is created by such conditions in which he himself fades and withers like a flower, the psychologist describes the problem. Here are a few signs of dislike in relationships.

1. Irritation.
   When all the time they say: “Don’t get in the way”, “Don’t interfere”, “Leave me alone”, “Get out of the way”. Getting used to these phrases, you are already afraid to hug, laugh out loud or just talk. You are annoying even with the way you eat, drink, walk around the apartment. You are constantly being made aware that you are causing discomfort by your very existence.
   
   
   
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2. Criticism
   Following the irritation, you are also criticized: “You did not say so”, “You did not do so”, “You stand wrong”, “You put on the wrong things”, “You laugh wrongly”, etc. Disputes about how to talk to someone, how to think, how to live, which side of the road to go. Unlike constructive criticism, these remarks do not carry any motivation for improvement, but only on the contrary, become a source of constant stress and complexes.
   
   
   
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3. Lack of support and protection
   As soon as you find yourself in a difficult situation and ask for help, you receive in response: “Well, you are an adult, you can cope with it yourself”, “You are a smart girl, you will find the way out”, “Don’t whine, you are a man”. It would seem that everything is right. A person must learn to overcome difficulties on their own. But if these phrases are heard by a child of five years old, then this is a clear neglect on the part of parents.
   
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   Without minimal support and protection from loved ones, there is a feeling of abandonment and helplessness. Do not expect that such a child will show care and sympathy for parents in old age. If a man does not protect his woman, he is an attack of relatives, stands and remains silent, without interfering in the conflict, if parents are not in a hurry to stand up for the child - this is a sign of dislike.
   
   The reason lies in the special hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for feelings of love, mutual help, sympathy and support. If a person loves, has a strong friendship with someone or has warm feelings, then he will produce oxytocin. There will be a desire to protect and protect a loved one. But if there is no such desire, then there is no oxytocin. They don’t say, “It’s your fault,” they say.
   
   
   
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4. Greed
   When the family is in a difficult financial situation, then, of course, not up to gifts. But if you see that there are enough funds, opportunities and resources, and a loved one is sorry to spend them on you or a child, this is dislike. They say, “Why do you do that?”, “You do it!”, “You do it.” For those we love, we don’t feel sorry for anything. We try to make them happy, make them happy, bring comfort into their lives. When we are loved, we are generously shared. If you don’t want to share, you don’t like us. We are strangers and strangers. Sometimes parents say they love their child but refuse to support them. Anna Kiryanova claims that there is no love in this relationship.
   
   
   
   
   
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5. Impairment
   You just have to complain about pain and experiences, talk about an anxious situation at work, school or kindergarten, how you are rejected. Your anxiety is considered nonsense, a contrived whim. Your negative emotions are something unimportant, not serious, not worthy of attention. “No whining, people and worse happens”, “You invent” – these phrases are brushed off by a person who does not love you. He'll eat your great dinner and not praise you. You won’t see a cleaned apartment, you won’t notice flowers in a vase, a new dress or hairstyle. I don't think there's any quarrel, but there's no affection either. Without a drop of attention, joy, happiness disappear, everything that a person does is devalued. Marriage without loveApproval, support, understanding are doomed to collapse.
   
   
   
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6. Failure to keep promises
   People promise to call and do not call, promise to write and do not write, do not answer messages for a long time. And every time they come up with excuses: "I was wrapped up," "I was busy," "Emergency matters." When they go for a walk with friends, to the country, fishing and do not invite you with them. When they are not interested in your health and well-being. When you ask for help in a difficult situation, you need a person, and you are neglected - this is dislike.
   
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The horror, tragedy, and pain of a relationship without love are worst endured by the elderly, children, and animals—the weakest, most sensitive, and most defenseless. They can’t do anything about it, just wait for attention. They endure, sit still, cry in the pillow, die in the hope of change.



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“Yes, I love you, of course, again for your own!” – in this phrase through dislike. But helpless people do not know what to do in such a relationship. They tell you one thing, but in reality something else happens. This duality and toxicity will eventually lead to the loveless It will break up. Do not think that a person loves, but simply does not know how to express feelings. There are no people who do not know how to care and show feelings.

Remember when you had to deal with the callousness and indifference of loved ones? Are we able to fully express our love for a loved one? How to love an emotionally cold husband, an arrogant mother, an unwanted child? How can a person gain respect for himself, recognition, understanding, so that love appears on this basis? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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