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Why children are “non-native” grandchildren
Communicating with grandson It may not work out, however sad it may be. Sometimes the relatives themselves are to blame. But there are also cases when the child does not want to reach out to close people. Why this happens and whether it can be corrected, read further in the article.
This weekend, the husband went to the village to visit his parents. He took our son with him: for some time the mother-in-law expressed a desire to see her grandson. The guys just came back with no mood. My husband blamed me for everything. My son doesn’t love his grandparents. It turned out that he made a scene in the village, thought that he was going to my parents, whom he loves very much. It was quite the opposite.
Vanya began to shout to be taken to the woman Sveta, because my husband's mother was nobody to him. Yes, the situation is stalemate and unpleasant. But I never said anything bad to my son about relatives. Am I responsible for my grandma’s relationship with my grandson?
My mom spends a lot of time with Vanya because my husband and I both work. Trying to pay off the loan for the apartment faster. Ma lives near us, she recently retired and has a lot of free time. And she gets along well with Vanechka! And this is understandable, because my mother was with him almost from the first days of his life, helping me. His mother-in-law was not interested in his life.
Sometimes I feel like my parents love Vanechka more than I do. They would literally do anything for him. And I'm very happy about that. My mother-in-law just didn’t work out from the start. The thing is, she was against our wedding.
She didn’t like me even though she didn’t know me. That's because I was married before I met Vadim. At the university jumped out for a classmate, without thinking, a year later divorced. Besides, I am a few years older than Vadim. I'm sorry that my mother-in-law thinks in stereotypes, but I'm not going to convince her of anything.
After the birth of Vanya, my mother-in-law began to treat me better. But nothing more. They come to us with their father-in-law only on holidays. And if they do, they usually talk on the phone with my husband and they can only ask how the grandson is. It is their fault that they did not establish contact with Vanechka.
The husband said that when they returned home, Vanya said he only had one grandparent. He doesn’t want to go to his parents anymore. Of course, Vadim was offended, but what can I do about it? The husband believes that his family loves our son and does everything possible to make him feel this love. Like giving gifts and stuff. I just don't think that's enough. Instead of gifts, they would have come more often or at least talked to him on the phone.
Vadim says my parents are both younger and healthier than his mother and father. It's easier for them to get to us and spend time with their grandson. Of course, you can come up with any excuse to close your eyes to the obvious things. The child feels and understands everything himself.
Anyway, my husband thinks it's up to me to solve this problem. He's not going to do anything, even though it's his parents, not mine. What do you do about that?
From the editorial board Any family problems We need to work together.Rather than putting responsibility on the shoulders of a family member. To establish contact between grandparents and grandson, it is enough to get together and talk. Little Vanya needs to explain that he has relatives who live far away.
They can't come often, but that doesn't mean they don't like it. In addition, you may need to purchase a phone with a camera for your mother-in-law and father-in-law so that you can maintain video communication. For a 5-year-old, eye contact is very important.
What do you say? What advice can you give the main character of the story? Share your ideas in the comments!
This weekend, the husband went to the village to visit his parents. He took our son with him: for some time the mother-in-law expressed a desire to see her grandson. The guys just came back with no mood. My husband blamed me for everything. My son doesn’t love his grandparents. It turned out that he made a scene in the village, thought that he was going to my parents, whom he loves very much. It was quite the opposite.
Vanya began to shout to be taken to the woman Sveta, because my husband's mother was nobody to him. Yes, the situation is stalemate and unpleasant. But I never said anything bad to my son about relatives. Am I responsible for my grandma’s relationship with my grandson?
My mom spends a lot of time with Vanya because my husband and I both work. Trying to pay off the loan for the apartment faster. Ma lives near us, she recently retired and has a lot of free time. And she gets along well with Vanechka! And this is understandable, because my mother was with him almost from the first days of his life, helping me. His mother-in-law was not interested in his life.
Sometimes I feel like my parents love Vanechka more than I do. They would literally do anything for him. And I'm very happy about that. My mother-in-law just didn’t work out from the start. The thing is, she was against our wedding.
She didn’t like me even though she didn’t know me. That's because I was married before I met Vadim. At the university jumped out for a classmate, without thinking, a year later divorced. Besides, I am a few years older than Vadim. I'm sorry that my mother-in-law thinks in stereotypes, but I'm not going to convince her of anything.
After the birth of Vanya, my mother-in-law began to treat me better. But nothing more. They come to us with their father-in-law only on holidays. And if they do, they usually talk on the phone with my husband and they can only ask how the grandson is. It is their fault that they did not establish contact with Vanechka.
The husband said that when they returned home, Vanya said he only had one grandparent. He doesn’t want to go to his parents anymore. Of course, Vadim was offended, but what can I do about it? The husband believes that his family loves our son and does everything possible to make him feel this love. Like giving gifts and stuff. I just don't think that's enough. Instead of gifts, they would have come more often or at least talked to him on the phone.
Vadim says my parents are both younger and healthier than his mother and father. It's easier for them to get to us and spend time with their grandson. Of course, you can come up with any excuse to close your eyes to the obvious things. The child feels and understands everything himself.
Anyway, my husband thinks it's up to me to solve this problem. He's not going to do anything, even though it's his parents, not mine. What do you do about that?
From the editorial board Any family problems We need to work together.Rather than putting responsibility on the shoulders of a family member. To establish contact between grandparents and grandson, it is enough to get together and talk. Little Vanya needs to explain that he has relatives who live far away.
They can't come often, but that doesn't mean they don't like it. In addition, you may need to purchase a phone with a camera for your mother-in-law and father-in-law so that you can maintain video communication. For a 5-year-old, eye contact is very important.
What do you say? What advice can you give the main character of the story? Share your ideas in the comments!
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