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The sad fate of a man who became a father but lost his wife
When a man becomes a father, his life changes forever. Nothing can darken such a joyful event except the departure of the closest person - his wife. Where to get the strength to survive griefRead it in our article today. We will share the story of a new father and an unhappy widower.
A week ago, I had a baby. My wife gave me a beautiful daughter that I'm crazy about. We have long dreamed of having a baby, but we have not been able to have a baby for a long time. When Nastya got pregnant, I was in seventh heaven with happiness. But today my beloved wife left this world.
I write these lines just to keep from going crazy. I don’t know what to do next and how to deal with my grief. We didn't know my wife had a health problem. The disease began to occur in an acute form suddenly, literally a week before birth. The doctors gave no guarantee, but assured that the child will be fine.
The hospital said that the only way out is a cesarean, and then you need an immediate course of the same therapy. That night I sat by my wife's bed, wetting her face with water from time to time. She breathed heavily and barely opened her eyes. And then suddenly she looked at me and said, "Maria." I was very scared, but I understood.
We lived with Nastya 10 happy years. We recently moved abroad and wanted to start with a clean slate. Both hit the creativity: my wife wrote beautiful poems and prose, and I drew. I was so fond of watching her twist her hair and gnaw a pencil while new lines were born in her head. She lived it, dreamed of releasing her book.
Our daughter Mary was born prematurely, and she was sent to a special department for such children. My wife was in intensive care at the time. I tried not to think about what was coming because I believed until the last day that doctors could save my wife. I survived in the hospital and didn’t even go home. I just knew it would get worse and harder.
My wife was unconscious for a long time. But I kept telling her about her daughter and the baby about her mother. I didn’t even feel like a father at the time. I was like a link between mother and daughter. But I felt it wasn't enough. I blamed myself for not being able to do anything else.
It's been a week since the birth. The doctor said that the hour of Nastya struck and he must disconnect her from the life support apparatus. I sat next to my wife and couldn’t put my thoughts together. I felt like I was in a coma myself. When I got home that night, everything in the apartment reminded me of Nastya. I looked at her stuff, her notebooks, her pens, and I didn't know what to do with them.
At first, I was completely immersed in my own, male grief. But then I began to realize that I had a daughter, and only I could take care of her. I realized she was the exact opposite of my wife leaving. And at the same time, she became a continuation of Nastya.
When Mary first asked where her mother was, I told her the truth. My daughter seemed to know everything, but she just wanted me to tell her. At that point, we got even closer. Life is unpredictable and sometimes we can’t control it. But it is in our power to accept all the trials and move on. Especially when you have someone to do it for.
There is no universal recipe that will help to survive grief. Someone for this will need the help of relatives or a specialist. And someone will be able to find strength within themselves and a new meaning in life.
No matter how hard it is, first of all, it is important to accept what will never be like before. People suffer for years because they could not accept the departure of a native person. But it is foolish to resist what we cannot change. Agreed?
If you've been in situations like this, how did you manage? Share your experience in the comments. We are sure that you can help one of our readers.
A week ago, I had a baby. My wife gave me a beautiful daughter that I'm crazy about. We have long dreamed of having a baby, but we have not been able to have a baby for a long time. When Nastya got pregnant, I was in seventh heaven with happiness. But today my beloved wife left this world.
I write these lines just to keep from going crazy. I don’t know what to do next and how to deal with my grief. We didn't know my wife had a health problem. The disease began to occur in an acute form suddenly, literally a week before birth. The doctors gave no guarantee, but assured that the child will be fine.
The hospital said that the only way out is a cesarean, and then you need an immediate course of the same therapy. That night I sat by my wife's bed, wetting her face with water from time to time. She breathed heavily and barely opened her eyes. And then suddenly she looked at me and said, "Maria." I was very scared, but I understood.
We lived with Nastya 10 happy years. We recently moved abroad and wanted to start with a clean slate. Both hit the creativity: my wife wrote beautiful poems and prose, and I drew. I was so fond of watching her twist her hair and gnaw a pencil while new lines were born in her head. She lived it, dreamed of releasing her book.
Our daughter Mary was born prematurely, and she was sent to a special department for such children. My wife was in intensive care at the time. I tried not to think about what was coming because I believed until the last day that doctors could save my wife. I survived in the hospital and didn’t even go home. I just knew it would get worse and harder.
My wife was unconscious for a long time. But I kept telling her about her daughter and the baby about her mother. I didn’t even feel like a father at the time. I was like a link between mother and daughter. But I felt it wasn't enough. I blamed myself for not being able to do anything else.
It's been a week since the birth. The doctor said that the hour of Nastya struck and he must disconnect her from the life support apparatus. I sat next to my wife and couldn’t put my thoughts together. I felt like I was in a coma myself. When I got home that night, everything in the apartment reminded me of Nastya. I looked at her stuff, her notebooks, her pens, and I didn't know what to do with them.
At first, I was completely immersed in my own, male grief. But then I began to realize that I had a daughter, and only I could take care of her. I realized she was the exact opposite of my wife leaving. And at the same time, she became a continuation of Nastya.
When Mary first asked where her mother was, I told her the truth. My daughter seemed to know everything, but she just wanted me to tell her. At that point, we got even closer. Life is unpredictable and sometimes we can’t control it. But it is in our power to accept all the trials and move on. Especially when you have someone to do it for.
There is no universal recipe that will help to survive grief. Someone for this will need the help of relatives or a specialist. And someone will be able to find strength within themselves and a new meaning in life.
No matter how hard it is, first of all, it is important to accept what will never be like before. People suffer for years because they could not accept the departure of a native person. But it is foolish to resist what we cannot change. Agreed?
If you've been in situations like this, how did you manage? Share your experience in the comments. We are sure that you can help one of our readers.
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