A friend likes to sit on his ears, reconciled with her behavior and know how to act

We live in a world where time has changed its course and is now moving at incredible speed. That's why the price went up. You can't imagine how expensive an hour at an important conference can be when you're talking to a person on whom nothing depends. You could make the right contact. Maybe that's why they changed and conversationalism.



We're inside the newsroom. "Site" We love to talk, but when it comes to work, we talk about the most important things. If you spend more than five minutes on a problem, you’re out of schedule. Alas, that's the reality today. Let me tell you why we raised this topic.

Since we have long been talking about personal boundaries, and any dialogue is a way out of them, it’s time to understand why any of the conversations should be stopped in time. The reasons can be very different, and one of them is a banal reluctance to discuss topics that you are not interested in. Or unpleasant. Or just taking time. I think it's time to use a new one. conversationalism.



And here we have an obvious contradiction that needs to be compromised. On the one hand, play-off It wastes your emotion, on the other hand, you can't be impolite, or you'd send an obsessive interlocutor to hell. The first compromise is, if you can't stop it, then try to take something useful out of this conversation.

You may not always know when your boundaries are broken. As soon as you understand that the conversation annoys you, is uninteresting, inappropriate, then it happened. A man sits on your ears and sculpts a picture that is only interesting to him. He probably doesn’t expect any reaction from you.



Why is it that a man tends to maintain this indistinct dialogue, when he should have finished it and gone about his business? It's internal. self-doubtFear of offending the interlocutor. There’s really nothing wrong with that, most people do that. We're so educated. I sometimes let people say more out of politeness.

You shouldn’t be afraid to voice your position when you realize that your time is running out of steam and the conversation is pointless. Explain why you're not interested and why you don't want to talk about it. But don’t take the path of aggression and say, “I’m not interested.” After all, talking to you can not just a man on the street, but a colleague at work, in the end, the boss. It would be strange to be rude to him.



© Freepik So don’t let your opponent sit on your head tightly and just let it be known that you are focused on something else (at work, for example), and therefore just physically unable to discuss it all. This is the second compromise that needs to be learned. Five minutes.And then we just settled for employment. That's not gonna hurt anyone.

Here are a few recommendations on how you can calmly end or at least just interrupt the useless flow of words pouring from that side.

  1. As mentioned above, it is time and time. The basic “sorry, I’m in a hurry” can work wonders. It's not going to be a trick, you're really in a hurry. Suitable for colleagues and acquaintances



  2. If you are not in a hurry, you can refer to your emotional state. So say, they say, I am not in the mood to talk about it, I am busy with other thoughts. And do not let the person know that you are not interested, and keep personal boundaries intact. This option is more for relatives and friends.
  3. For random people, we recommend that the border be marked more rigidly. Don’t be afraid to offend someone and make it clear that you want to listen to music or read a book, but you just don’t have a dialogue. Make sure you're understood correctly.





Remember, any conversation on the case should be in five minutes. It’s called “small talk.” If such a conversation is beyond your interest and you resort to one of the tricks to stop it, still do not end it with the words “I am not interested and go to the bath”. It is better to thank the interlocutor and show respect for him.

And now last resort. The person does not accept attempts and continues to use your ears and waste your time. Go beyond the box and reveal your intentions directly. It may look aggressive, but how else to stop this avalanche? You don't have to give me a reason, you just have to say, "Sorry, but I want to end this conversation." If it doesn't work, run. Or call the police. Joke.



From the editorial board, we add that goodman Not the one who speaks, but the one who asks questions. Even a five-minute smooch suggests dialogue. By asking questions, you allow the other person to open up, get their opinion, give an opportunity to offer an interesting idea. Trust me, it works.

Actually. conversationalism Do not “sit” on the ears of a person, he will only thank you for this. And everything else that I wrote above. If everything is clear with these rules, then repeat these rules of modern etiquette, it will definitely not be superfluous. And thank you for staying with us!

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