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9 phrases that men dread to hear from their wives
Avoid criticismno matter How different nor were the couples, the reasons for quarrels and expressions of discontent, all about the same. Psychologists and psychotherapists are called phrases, which especially hurt and hurt men. Of course, the limit of the patience of the majority is not limitless, and if the partner is once again washed the dishes, left a mess, did not guess with a gift or pays you little attention, I want to give them in full. And yet, if the relationship is important to you, it is not necessary to resort to sharp criticism.
"I KNOW it's LATE, BUT WE NEED to TALK""When you want to discuss something, set it aside until morning. The conversation is more productive when both partners are rested and ready to talk. In the old Comedy series loved such scenes – when my wife needs to talk, and my husband wants to sleep. In our days, the problem acquired scale of the epidemic," says the therapist Elisabeth Lamotte.
"YOU IN THOSE SHORTS YOU LOOK LIKE A TEENAGER. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE?"You don't like it when a partner lets go of the snide comments about hair styles or baggy t-shirts? He probably reacts the same way when you sidelong glances at his pants with pockets on the knees.
"What makes you think that you have the right to set the fashion standards? And any "you should" make him feel that you are trying to over-control," explains psychotherapist Susan Heitler.
"YOU'D BETTER CARD GAVE"most Likely, the partner was sure that the expensive handbag is to take that it persuaded the seller demonstrates his generosity and care.
"Say thank you, even if deep down not so pleased with the gift. Men want to look like winners in the eyes of his wife and are disappointed when their efforts are not appreciated. Therefore it is better to Express gratitude, and then mention which version of gift can be more meaningful", says psychotherapist Gary Neuman.
"MY EX WOULD NEVER have DONE""Comparison with former husband, with husbands friends or heroes reality TV show is unfair and will lead to the fact that he was starting to doubt whether you love him," said the therapist curt Smith.
"I CAN'T STAND WHEN YOU LEAVE DISHES IN the SINK"There are correct and incorrect ways to Express their discontent. Neither men nor women don't like to hear unconstructive criticism.
"Instead of criticizing, say you'll be very grateful if he will do something, as you think proper. "I appreciate when you..." the more you show your appreciation, the more will get it," – says psychotherapist Tammy Nelson, author of the book "the New monogamy".
"YOU ONLY want SEX""Yes, it is an important part of life, but if you suspect that the partner does something for you just for the sex, you insult him with this. Men want sex and enjoy it, but they hate when they are suspected of selfish motives. And even if these suspicions prove to be true in this particular case, this does not mean that sex is the only reason men are willing to do something," said Gary Neiman.
"YOU NEVER..."Rush uncompromising accusations like "you always" or "you never" is a bad idea. No one does something "always" or "never", why exclude those words from the lexicon. Discussing something, focus on what is happening now, and don't make overly generalized statements about the behavior of your partner," advises Tammy Nelson.
"YES, BUT...""If you agree with something and then add "Yes, but..." then as if to negate everything said before. No man (nor woman) does not like when his words are so lightly discarded," says Susan Heitler.
"REMEMBER when YOU... (did SOMETHING wrong)"Perhaps one partner forgot to congratulate you on your birthday, or even meet with friends that weekend that you were supposed to spend with your parents.
"About any wrongdoing or error nor spoken, if you have already forgiven her husband, take care of your relationship and leave the mistake in the past. Many men think that they are constantly haunted by their past, because their wives do not forget no perfect error. And every time they do something wrong, remind them of all past transgressions. If a man understands that his wife doesn't appreciate all he does is good and right, then eventually just stops listening to her," explains curt Smith.
***The danger of these phrases is that they fly from the language, and we don't have time to think about what can hurt their loved one. Eliminate them from your vocabulary at once will not work. To start, try to catch myself on them and gradually replace them with more soft and respectful. It's not that hard, especially if your relationship is worth it. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: //www.psychologies.ru/self-knowledge/9-fraz-kotoryie-mujchinyi-boyatsya-uslyishat-ot-jen/
"I KNOW it's LATE, BUT WE NEED to TALK""When you want to discuss something, set it aside until morning. The conversation is more productive when both partners are rested and ready to talk. In the old Comedy series loved such scenes – when my wife needs to talk, and my husband wants to sleep. In our days, the problem acquired scale of the epidemic," says the therapist Elisabeth Lamotte.
"YOU IN THOSE SHORTS YOU LOOK LIKE A TEENAGER. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE?"You don't like it when a partner lets go of the snide comments about hair styles or baggy t-shirts? He probably reacts the same way when you sidelong glances at his pants with pockets on the knees.
"What makes you think that you have the right to set the fashion standards? And any "you should" make him feel that you are trying to over-control," explains psychotherapist Susan Heitler.
"YOU'D BETTER CARD GAVE"most Likely, the partner was sure that the expensive handbag is to take that it persuaded the seller demonstrates his generosity and care.
"Say thank you, even if deep down not so pleased with the gift. Men want to look like winners in the eyes of his wife and are disappointed when their efforts are not appreciated. Therefore it is better to Express gratitude, and then mention which version of gift can be more meaningful", says psychotherapist Gary Neuman.
"MY EX WOULD NEVER have DONE""Comparison with former husband, with husbands friends or heroes reality TV show is unfair and will lead to the fact that he was starting to doubt whether you love him," said the therapist curt Smith.
"I CAN'T STAND WHEN YOU LEAVE DISHES IN the SINK"There are correct and incorrect ways to Express their discontent. Neither men nor women don't like to hear unconstructive criticism.
"Instead of criticizing, say you'll be very grateful if he will do something, as you think proper. "I appreciate when you..." the more you show your appreciation, the more will get it," – says psychotherapist Tammy Nelson, author of the book "the New monogamy".
"YOU ONLY want SEX""Yes, it is an important part of life, but if you suspect that the partner does something for you just for the sex, you insult him with this. Men want sex and enjoy it, but they hate when they are suspected of selfish motives. And even if these suspicions prove to be true in this particular case, this does not mean that sex is the only reason men are willing to do something," said Gary Neiman.
"YOU NEVER..."Rush uncompromising accusations like "you always" or "you never" is a bad idea. No one does something "always" or "never", why exclude those words from the lexicon. Discussing something, focus on what is happening now, and don't make overly generalized statements about the behavior of your partner," advises Tammy Nelson.
"YES, BUT...""If you agree with something and then add "Yes, but..." then as if to negate everything said before. No man (nor woman) does not like when his words are so lightly discarded," says Susan Heitler.
"REMEMBER when YOU... (did SOMETHING wrong)"Perhaps one partner forgot to congratulate you on your birthday, or even meet with friends that weekend that you were supposed to spend with your parents.
"About any wrongdoing or error nor spoken, if you have already forgiven her husband, take care of your relationship and leave the mistake in the past. Many men think that they are constantly haunted by their past, because their wives do not forget no perfect error. And every time they do something wrong, remind them of all past transgressions. If a man understands that his wife doesn't appreciate all he does is good and right, then eventually just stops listening to her," explains curt Smith.
***The danger of these phrases is that they fly from the language, and we don't have time to think about what can hurt their loved one. Eliminate them from your vocabulary at once will not work. To start, try to catch myself on them and gradually replace them with more soft and respectful. It's not that hard, especially if your relationship is worth it. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: //www.psychologies.ru/self-knowledge/9-fraz-kotoryie-mujchinyi-boyatsya-uslyishat-ot-jen/
