The best thing you can do for your child.

Once upon a time, an amazing Guide and I traveled on a “non-tourist” route. India. In one of the temples we were told that you can ask for anything important to you. Seeing that I was “hanging” – they told me: “Wish yourself happiness, Space will lead you to it.”I was so surprised at that time: “To entrust the expensive universe with the care of your personal happiness is so irresponsible.” We are the masters of our own happiness. . . . ?





For a decade, I’ve been studying happiness. We know from age psychology that basic levels of happiness, along with basic optimism, trust and distrust of the world, healthy attachment, are formed from about birth to two years of age, and we return to this baseline level after any dopamine and serotonin injections.

After any exciting event, after any purchase, tastiness, victory, sadness, we still after a while will fall (or rise) to the basic level of happiness. The basic level of happiness is the level of allowing yourself to be happy. And that's probably what psychologists do. I don't remember what poem I wrote. “Happiness is not an act, but a permit, so the source is stored within. . . ? Often, when I find myself waiting for someone to make me happy, I repeat these words.

It is difficult for a child to be happier than a parent. It’s hard for a child of any age to be happy, healthy, and successful if their parents aren’t happy. And we are used to “secretly” taking responsibility for the happiness of others and shifting the responsibility for their happiness to the near and far.

And when parents in counseling ask what they can do for the happiness of the child, I say what is simple in “pronunciation”, but often difficult in execution – to be happy. At the very least, children are not afraid to grow up. Depriving a child of play - excessive intellectualization, by the way, also leads to a "lower level of happiness." . .

Today, there's been a whole day of verse that I never found in my archive, probably lost.“and believe that happiness is co-happiness. Connection of all parts "in the now".





I believe that happiness can be felt if you stop and listen to the present moment, if you “gather all your parts” and thank that Expensive Universe for them, and believe that we are all so generously gifted that the path to happiness is different, straight, winding, bumpy, asphalted – all that matters is not to stop and go.

But, probably, to go first after all – inward and inward ... to increase the “basic level of happiness” so as not to replace what is valuable and desirable inside, external actions and objects. Irina Melnik once shared an amazing thought – “If you ask a person what happiness is for him, he will say what he lacks for complete happiness.”
Let us all be happy!published



Credit: Svetlana Royce

P.S. And remember, just changing our consumption – together we change the world!

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