Why do women with age more needs a girlfriend

One day we sunbathed on the beach, and I noticed in the company of women over 50 years. At first sight it was clear that they staged a weekend "girls only". Friend brought a couple of coolers and drinks for delicious cocktails, a stack of ladies ' novels, stuck in the sand, bright umbrellas. But most of all attracted the attention of their carefree laughter: ladies constantly laughing, making people jealous of their fun.







I really liked how they enjoy each other's company. Despite the fact that I was much younger and I was happy to be a mom of young children, I suddenly vividly imagine yourself in their place. Imagined that one day I will be here to sit with friends, basking in their love and attention will once again feel young.

The same day I met two of them in the Elevator of the hotel. "And you seem to be having a good time" I said. "That's right,' smiled one. — We go to the beach all together for 20 years. And together we have been through so much — divorced, I was unemployed, fighting cancer, have lost loved ones. I wish you, dear, always keep in touch with friends. You'll see what we are older, the more necessary to each other".

These words made a great impression on me. But honestly, truly, I understand only 40 years old when I realized that divorce, illness, death of a loved one is a reality. After all, when we are young, we think that the troubles will be a party.

Last year the husband of my friend Emily (we met up when our daughters became friends) died in a plane crash. Joe and Emily were not just husband and wife, they were really close friends with for 15 years and loved each other after many years of marriage. To lose this so early and so suddenly it was scary, unfair and just was beyond comprehension.







The death of Joe plunged in grief for so many people, and for a long time their house was full of grieving friends and relatives. And at the same time, there was so much LOVE that was felt in their relationship to each other.

I was struck by how much in the life of Emily and friends as they are kind to her. They instantly dropped everything and flew to Birmingham to support. But it is not even that. What surprised me was that there was going to a personal "village" Emily's friends who appeared on the most different stages of life: at school, at College, at work. All perfectly knew her, was intimate with her and knew how to ease the pain and help.

Before the funeral they asked me to write the obituary. I decided to prepare a draft and leave the gaps in it, so Emily could fill them with some specific memories and details. And you know what? I didn't even have to ask her. Friend filled out all they remembered funny stories that happened to Joe and his daughters, and that he was the first student in the class, and even then, what position he played on the basketball team — the list goes on.

Then they began to discuss the organization of funeral party and spoke these words: "No, Emily wouldn't like it" or "Emily would have done." In the end, they have prepared 2 options, and just introduced their friend to choose from. So they saved Emily a lot of time and effort that she was able to spend on more important issues.

Our girlfriends can't save us from troubles, but they are able to ease the pain. They know what we think and what we feel they intuitively know what needs to be done and doing it. They know how to listen, to empathize and to show compassion.







Jennifer aniston and Courteney Cox remain best friends for many years and after filming "Friends".

Of course, it is difficult to devote sufficient time friendship, when you have children. Sometimes it is just not enough energy. But watching Emily and her friends, I realized one important thing: lasting friendships is invaluable when something happens.When it seems that you are about to drown in their misfortune, family and friends are like holding your hands, helping to regain ground.

They go with you to yoga, will bring home something tasty, dumped the kids in the café or on the beach, walk the dog and write you dozens of SMS with the words: "how are you, dear?" They will come to you again and again to make sure you were all right, and you will find thousands of ways to show your love.

The woman in the Elevator knew what I was saying. And now when I see a similar group of women, I understand that their laughter is only a small part of a big story, and this closeness comes after a difficult "adult" things they've been through. And although, of course, men play in our life a huge role, they're just not designed to understand us as a friend.

To have true friends in the first place means to be a friend. "Circle Emily" was so strong precisely because she is very much invested in the friendship. And when she most needed support, she took the fruits of their efforts.

I told this story to remind you that friends are important always: in good and bad times, in sorrow and in joy. Our UPS and downs will show who is willing to be with us for years who are willing to share our suffering.

So for a carefree laughter on the beach will be a story that will make your joy more deeply and fully and make you the envy of everyone around you envy.

Source Huffington Post
Author Kari Kampakis


See also
Why with age we lose friends
25 SMS, which can only be friends


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