It is difficult to overestimate the role of the father in the upbringing of children. Even if he's not around. His personality, relationship with the mother of the child, parenting shape the pattern of behavior of the child and his future.Let us consider in detail in the examples.
The perfect dad.
A rare but real. He is the talent of the man. His family is in the first place: he lives in the family and for the family. It not just feels the mood of his wife and children, but also strongly contributes to establishing and maintaining a optimistic background.
Talking about office problems, he consults with his wife and relieve her negative emotions. Not hoard offense for petty family problems, and tries immediately to find out their causes.
A good tradition are the family, during which children have the right to offer his solution to topical issues.
An ideal father does not divide the work into male and female. He can do everything – even if not expertly, but willingly. Children it fosters kindness, attention and support. But within reasonable limits. When it is severe. He did not zabaluesh! But you can always count on fairness, even in punishment.
Such a father the children love and respect, and therefore obey without coercion. To deceive him ashamed – very high credibility. Sometimes it was him, not mom, first entrusting their secrets. In such a family children feel a part of a whole, members of the same team. They all help to their parents: on the farm, the care of babies and the elderly, for the sick. Are friendly, open and helpful."The most that parents can do for his children is to love each other"
– and in this family friendly, interaction between spouses will be a great school for future family life to their children. Taking their cue from their parents, they will create their own house, cozy, comfortable and reliable protection in difficult times from the turmoil of life.
The father of the observer.
He carries in his family model, the parent: in the wife chooses a docile woman without much ambition, which will ensure full comfort, well-tended children. With the household he is laconic, but maintains order, controls the learning and behavior of children. Life in this family flows calmly, but it is the case when people live nearby, but not together
. The outside world they have in common, and the interior – each to his own. What a pity! Usually the mother is a good woman, she feels the child's heart.
Children in this family life is not easy. Neoplasene, before they grow up, become self-sufficient rationalists. If the ambition of the father coincide with their own, making good progress in a business career. In school they learn well differ exemplary behavior, in contacts with peers are able to keep your distance. Becoming financially independent, do not stay long in the parental home – to build an adult life on his own script.
Let's leave aside the snapper, whose "itching" and the belt is always ready. We will talk about those who is all and in all ready to disagree, who lives on the principle "man is always right." The wife and children he considers his property and keeps "a tight rein" forcing to live according to its principles regarding order in the house, and of the mode of the day, and style of the clothes and the models hair.
With children he says often and thoroughly: teaches them life wisdom, warns against the cruelty of the world. Children from such families sullen, closed, hard to go on contact. Because the relationship between the parents are strained, each of them tries to win over children to his side, to set against the other. As a result, in her adult life they take the position of lone rebel or become opportunists, fawning and flattering, in the shower hating myself for these qualities.
Father is henpecked.
This "Mama's boy" does not want to grow up, take responsibility for myself and for the support of his family. The wife he chooses a domineering, self-sufficient woman and willingly giving up all power in her hands. The mother, accustomed to control the son, vainly tries to drive a wedge between him and his wife. Henpecked protects the stability of his family. However, over time, in relations of the spouses enters a quiet hatred...
The children in this family all see and understand. While they are small, love to fool around with dad, naughty – I love it. But as a teenager no longer respect or even nasty, imitating his mother. Bugger the teenager manipulates the dependent father, vymanivaya money from him for their needs. As adults, the children change their attitude to the father, sincerely regret it, funny, talented, just weak.
But there is a silver lining – the relationship in their own homes they are building in spite of his father's models and become almost perfect parents.
- "Sunday dad" living away from the family, divorce;
- the one that sort of activity frequently is in business trip;
- one who is fully absorbed in their own business and comes home to take a shower, change clothes and sleep.
Past them is a mass of situations that require the father's participation.
Therefore children in a family tied to the mother. She has much to give them, but replace father is almost impossible. The man is arranged so that male and female should from childhood to the appropriate impetus. So, growing up virtually without a father, they risk to get psychological strain: a girl will experience difficulty in romantic relationships, and the boy may be too feminine and subdued.
Denying from-for eternal employment of a small child in communication, they say, "grow up – then we get started", featuring the father runs the risk that the grown up son did not want to talk to him heart to heart.published
Author: Lyudmyla Andrievska
Also interesting: Rejecting father... Young father: the third is not superfluous
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©