For love there is no appearance — there is only nature

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A practicing psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky sure that a person's appearance does not affect the luck factor. This fact proves by example celebrities: even if you are the standard of beauty, love and happiness you can not be guaranteed.

We Site vote for natural beauty and rich inner world.

See how beautiful the floor furiously beating over the alleged shortcomings of their appearance. Men, too, sometimes fighting, but not very selfless: it is not so important to be beautiful how to earn money.

Women torture themselves with diets and exercise equipment that prick in the face that horrible, the heels are horrible. It's still okay. But plastic! The surgeon's knife! Such a mockery is equivalent to masochism, and those who do it, just the unfortunate victim, ready for everything just loved them. Absolutely. Yes, any tampering with his looks, from tanning to liposuction, is a demonstration of insecurity and a step on the way to the narcissistic disorder. And this is a very unpleasant disorder when life is not sweet without a General and minute approval and better — admiration, and even better — adoration.

The worst thing is that the victims of the beauty industry measure of self-esteem is not the appearance, and the presence or absence of a partner specific parameters. Speaking of partners: the lower the self-esteem of the men, the more value it gives the appearance of a wife or mistress. Confident it is almost do not care.

I do not understand why suffer, for example, painful Botox injections when all of world history, science and everyday experience downright screaming about the fact that the appearance (and integrity) plays no role in love, attraction, sex and attitude towards us from others. There is another trick. Below I'll tell you what.

Well all know who he married and who adored John Lennon — a man who could choose any woman in the world? And now remember Yoko Ono. She looks very peculiar, even for Japanese tastes.

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And Paul McCartney and Heather mills? This girl is generally one foot there, but she managed to marry one of the richest and most jaded suitors in the world. (To Rob it).

Go ahead, look at the husbands of Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez or wives, Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman, woody Harrelson. And the last wife of woody Allen? Not about beauty, that's for sure.

And after all, no one can not be suspected that he didn't have sex with beautiful.

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And at the same time, how many beautiful and very unhappy people. And the most beautiful (okay, the sexiest) woman on earth, which dreamed 90 % of the male population of this planet, whose portrait was worn in the breast pocket, the soldiers of the American army in Vietnam, Marilyn Monroe, died of loneliness and solitude. And in General had a lot of psychological problems. And this is Marilyn said, "I'm not used to being happy and therefore not believed happiness is something we seek for ourselves."

Hence the question: so you want to be beautiful or happy? If the second — it is necessary to work not on appearance, but on self-esteem. Love yourself with every appearance, and then your appearance could really be anyone. It's the law. "You we love a little black and white we just love" as written by Gogol.

Understand, appearance is a very subjective concept. Looks are only what you feel looking at yourself in the mirror. "I like myself" or "I don't like myself" — that is the question.

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Yes, love, like and dislike, does not arise on an empty place and it all comes from my childhood (Hello parents!). If the person is not suffering, when it is rejected, if it is a priori sure that should please people, and this should be good — it's clear that he has no idea about the ultimate (and only real) love. This dad and mom loved Oh, not for nothing! Not because he was born and there is light. They didn't kiss his ass and not saying that he is the most beautiful in the world of the child. Not-e-et. Directly or indirectly they have brought to him about the idea of "goodness", from which it follows that love must be earned, and even better — to earn daily. And for this...

"I'm fine mistress, learn to cook, it will look like candy, and then someone will see and my "human" talent!"— so says, not necessarily out loud, the majority of Russian women. My dear, no you don't love for luxurious lashes, a soup with cutlet and docile nature. Like for more! As the saying goes, "good girls go to heaven, and bad — where want".

Besides, don't you realize how unnatural you do when you stupidly want to like? This behavior is completely impossible to discern what a person really is, but you can always catch the voltage and read the dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction. Normal people it is alarming and off-putting. And confidence, on the contrary, attracts and does not let go. But not only in the certainty case. To happen love, love or passion, a person needs to catch. And that's catchy is not the ideal form of the nose, a flat stomach or nice hair (except that for the first time, which can do everything, and end). Unknowingly touches something from my childhood: Association, similarity, smell, gesture, the manner to pull the button, the timbre of the voice — in short, some detail, reminiscent of the parental home and the parent of the opposite sex. This Association, incidentally, doesn't have to be happy. And against this powerless all the tricks, plastics, outfits and virtue.

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For love there is no appearance — there is only nature, "egg", will, fidelity to himself. Only it's in short supply in this world. And only this is of interest, respect, desire.

And, as if all that is not enough, one solution is to be yourself. To develop their individuality and personal qualities. Not to compromise. Well, at least not to mock him, not acting like a victim!

And it is better to follow our own desires, aspirations, dreams. To cultivate their difference from others and cannot be shy.

Okay, I will say little ugly dude, what you say right and I agree with every word and I can hundred times to read it, but confidence me it will not add. What to do? To which I answer, that on acceptance in the form in which you are, of course, have to work. Well, for example, to try to ensure maximum psychological comfort, to respect their wishes, devote yourself time (and money) to try to enjoy life, to feel its taste, to taste, to enjoy.

The task is to self-compensate for the lack of love, filling those voids that were formed in childhood and adolescence. Right to deliver such a goal, consider it a priority, it is vitally important not to wait for happy you will make others.

Others in your life will appear and wants to make you well when you do feel your importance. Your appearance is only your self-esteem.

Source labkovskiy
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