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Test: Which of the 5 love languages do you speak?
It’s been nearly 20 years since Gary Chapman’s legendary book, Five Love Languages, was published. This book has been a real revelation to many people around the world, as it explains how different people perceive and express love. Chapman identified five key “languages” through which we communicate our feelings to partners, and proposed a method for understanding and improving relationships. How do you know which love language you speak? In this test, we will help you understand this important aspect of a relationship and how your actions and words affect loved ones.
Ecology of life: Why do love languages matter?
Everyone perceives love in their own way. What is an expression of care and affection for one may be quite insignificant for another. Understanding how your partner perceives and expresses love is key to building strong and harmonious relationships. In his book, Gary Chapman proposed five types of “languages” through which we communicate our feelings: words of affirmation, time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Each of these love languages plays a role in relationships. A person may use one or more love languages, but usually one of them is predominant. By knowing your love language, you can not only better understand your partner’s needs, but also learn to express your feelings so that they are correctly perceived.
What are love languages?
1. Words of affirmation
For people whose primary love language is affirmation, praise, support, and kind words matter. They appreciate compliments and sincere expressions of gratitude. "You're incredibly beautiful," "You're the best" - such phrases have a special value for them. When a partner does not express their feelings in words, people with this language may feel unappreciated or unnecessary.
2. Time.
People for whom the “language of time” is important value quality time with a partner. This is not just a joint trip to the shops or sitting next to you, but real intimacy and attention. For them, it’s important that you only spend time with them, without distractions like smartphones or TVs. They feel love through moments together: long conversations, walks and active participation in each other’s lives.
3. Gifts.
For those whose primary love language is gifts, material attentions are of particular importance. This does not mean that they are materialistic, but rather a way of expressing love through objects that have symbolic meaning. Such people love when their partner shows care, making a gift or even just unexpectedly bringing their favorite delicacy. Gifts are a kind of “language of recognition”, a symbol of love and affection.
4. Acts of service
For people whose love language is acts of service, the most important thing is for the partner to show care through action. Words are not important, but actions are valued. Helping with household chores, preparing meals, or taking care of your partner’s health – all these little acts of love say more than just “I love you.” These people express their affection through actions and expect the same from their loved ones.
5. Physical touch
People whose primary love language is physical touch experience love through hugs, kisses, and other forms of physical intimacy. For them, contact with a partner is important, which creates a sense of intimacy and security. When this language is absent, they may feel lonely and distant, even if their partner is nearby.
What love language do you speak?
Now that we’ve learned the basic love languages, it’s time to take a little test to help you understand which love language is your dominant love language. Answer the following questions and calculate the number of points for each option.
Questions:
- What is the best way to express your feelings?
- Ah. Words like “I’m proud of you” or “You’re a wonderful person.” (1 point)
- B. When we spend time together, we do something interesting. (2 points)
- V. When I receive or give a gift. (3 points)
- G. When I can help or do something for my partner. (4 points)
- D. When we hug, hold hands, physically close. (5 points)
- How do you prefer your partner to express their love?
- Ah. Words of support, praise and approval. (1 point)
- B. Spending time together without distractions. (2 points)
- V. Receiving gifts or surprises. (3 points)
- G. Assistance in everyday activities, support in actions. (4 points)
- D. Warm physical contact, hugs, kisses. (5 points)
- What is most important to you in a relationship?
- Ah. Open, sincere conversations. (1 point)
- B. Spending time together when we are completely absorbed in each other. (2 points)
- V. Gifts and attentions. (3 points)
- G. Joint action, assistance and care. (4 points)
- D. Intimacy, touch, closeness. (5 points)
Scoring:
- 1-3 points: Your love language is statement.
- 4-6 points: Your love language is time.
- 7-9 points: Your love language is gift.
- 10-12 points: Your love language is service.
- 13-15 points: Your love language is touch.
Conclusion
Understanding your love language and your partner’s love language is key to a harmonious relationship. Learning how to properly express your feelings and how to perceive the feelings of others can significantly strengthen emotional connection and increase mutual understanding in relationships. Take this test and start building deeper and more sincere relationships with those close to you.