5 love languages: Learn which of them says your second half
Knowledge of these 5 love languages will help you to build relationships in the family and even to rescue a failing Union. Gary Chapman tells in detail about each language and shows how to determine which of them is telling your significant other.
Language # 1: Words of affirmation.
Children with this love language before, learn to do good compliments, do not forget without a reminder of the mother to say “thank you”. For them, it will be important to hear from parents that they love and are proud of them. They will bring different credentials, the first thing to talk about the top five in school and wait for the deserved praise.
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Mark TWAIN once said: "good a compliment I can live for two months." For people whose love language “words of affirmation” is to hear that you are pleased that they did that we are grateful. To support these people is very simple, just need to really speak all positive things, even minor ones.
Incorrect attitude: to achieve from people of anything by threats, reproaches and poking nose in their mistakes is almost impossible. Instead, try gently asking them, and even if they do not fulfill requests, praise them for other things.
Best relation: Learn to make compliments. Learn to notice all he does for you or for your beloved one at home and praise them for it. Remember the phrase “You cook this dish best!”, “I am very pleased that you washed the dishes” “Thank you, for me it is important that you do it.”
Language no 2: Quality time.This language is very clearly visible from a very early age. After work dad will not allow a newspaper to read, monkey climbs on your knees, you squeeze page and will need to go to his room. With a kid like that need concentration to play with blocks, and when the mobile will call to pick up the phone and say: “Sorry, I'm busy and can't talk, call You back in an hour.”
Adults with the love language “quality time” may be a piece of cake to prepare for an important exam and go for a walk with his beloved, if she asks about the meeting. Or seriously to lament: “I have no husband!” if the husband spend a lot of time at the computer.
Incorrect attitude: do not understand the language of quality time counting all the time spent with a partner. So I want to draw attention to the word “quality”, that is, the joint watching TV does not count, but the discussion of the film can be considered high quality. Just need to turn off the TV, sit in front of a partner, take his hand and carefully watch the eye.
Best relation: if your environment is such a person, try to start a tradition to take a walk in the Park, inviting him for a conversation in a coffee shop, even if you live in the same apartment. Show that even in the moments when you have no time and a lot of cases, you'll try to carve out an hour for him to show how this person is important to you. And of course it would be better for such people not to be late.
Language # 3: Gifts.Child language gifts will be hard to give you a luxury cakes from the mud in the story of your toys I will mention here is that this grandmother and this friend gave.
A grown man certainly can afford to buy these things, but if his love language – the gifts, the vessel of love will be filled only if it will give. Generally, the more gifts, the better. To recognize such a person in the gifts he chooses lovingly and joyfully gives to others.
Incorrect attitude: the main mistake people poorly understand this language is to translate everything into money. You can often hear the complaint: “My parents didn't pay attention to the language(quality time), and tried to pay off gifts.”
Best relation: if the language of your loved one gifts, try to put more effort to make memorable gifts with meaning. Be alert in conversation things and present them as unexpected surprises. Will not interfere in the gray days of buying 3 pounds of potatoes, ask the seller and one large orange for your favorite or drop in after work for chocolate. The more gifts, the better.
Language # 4: Acts of service (Care). Children love language “acts of service” particularly in need of a caring mother, because they feel love when the wash their clothes, cook lunch for them. They're actively trying to help.
Adults with the language of love choose a caring couple. My husband feels the love of his wife through a closet full of ironed shirts, clean the house, tidy children. Wife will be happy, if the husband dumped her car in balance, will prepare Breakfast in bed or at home will beat all nails before she has time to ask about it...
Incorrect attitude: perhaps the most difficult for people to live in the language of quality time and acts of service. For example, the wife says: “You don't love me, not love!”. And the husband all begin to try spending an hour after work to go for the delicacies, another 3 hours preparing a romantic dinner. But she still at this time sitting in the living room and feels miserable. Because it would be nicer if they went to a restaurant and the 4 hours he spent to hold her hand.
Best relation: the language of love shown by deeds, so think about what kind of surprise can make in the absence of a loved one. To fulfill part of his responsibilities at home, carefully solve the problem with broken things and appliances.
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The Language Of No. 5 Touching.The child with the love language of touch first of all run to embrace come work with dad. Will userexit him the hair on his head. He says, “Touch me!”.
Growing up these people no less in need of tactile contact, stroking, to feel loved and protected.
Sex is one of the dialects of the language of love “touch”. People with this dialect, it is important to see the efforts of the partner to please in bed, and they themselves try to become better lovers. They get a special pleasure from hugs and kisses during sex, because the partner flows through the fingers their hair, etc.
Incorrect attitude: sad to see a man whose childhood has not taught the language of touch. If a person grows up in a family where it is not customary to touch each other, it is difficult to perceive the language of love and will have this for a long time to learn, educate yourself, make your movements more confident, and not to touch others with trembling hands.
Best relation: most try to touch the person with this love language. Pat him on the forearm in conversation, do night massage, hug and kiss him as soon as possible. Don't hold his hand in his, and stroking it or massaging fingers. Always try, even just passing through the room, to touch such a person, or kiss the top of my head.published