Psychologists told what 6 things can imperceptibly destroy any marriage

The biggest threats to a happy marriage are not arguments about money and infidelity, as is commonly believed.

Website He translated an article by the Huffington Post, whose journalists gathered the opinions of experienced family psychologists about things that quietly and imperceptibly undermine quite successful marriages. Read and do the opposite.







Spouses are very important to spend time with each other, but do not refuse to meet friends for another evening with board games and TV series. One person simply cannot satisfy all of our social needs. And if you sometimes go to a bachelorette party or have fun with friends at a rock concert - that's great. It means giving each other some space. That makes your relationship only better., says psychologist from Pasadena Ryan Hawes (USA).

"It's very important for a couple to build and maintain sustainable relationships with other people," he explains. Friendship allows us to expand our life experience through the stories of other people and gain support that can really positively affect marital relationships. Everyone needs close friends who can be trusted.”







If you rarely touch each other for nothing, you may have reached the stage in a relationship where you only make love on special occasions. Yes, no matter how funny it sounds - only on vacation, on a birthday or on a wedding anniversary. “Congratulations, your couple are on a dangerous path leading to asexual marriage,” warns Dr. Debra Campbell, a family psychologist from Melbourne, Australia.

“No one talks about the daily frenzy of passion, which is rarely the case in a marriage that has been going on for years. ButWe need to remind our other half that she is still desirable and attractive.," she explains.







It is important for married people to have friends, but it is dangerous to be friends with anyone. If there are couples around you who are “wrong” – cheating, lying to each other – their behavior can affect your relationship with your spouse, even if you are not aware of it.

“If your close friend constantly complains about her husband or has affairs behind his back, her actions will inevitably have a poisonous effect on your attitude to marriage, blur the boundaries of what is permissible for you, even if only in thoughts,” says psychotherapist Laura Heck, founder of online family therapy courses “forBetter”.

And vice versa.- If you are surrounded by couples who have managed to build trusting, warm and healthy relationships, their example will only help you.







When one of the spouses (of course, the wife) single-handedly tears the apartment and defends the second shift in the kitchen after work, this creates resentment and spoils the relationship. Scientists from the University of Alberta found that couples in which all household chores lie on the shoulders of only one spouse are less likely to have sex than those who share household chores in fairness.

The question “Who’s going to clean up?” is never the subject of a quarrel at the beginning of a relationship, but after a few years it can seriously damage the blood of a husband and wife. “It is not whether you are dirty or clean, what is important is how clean you are patient, and how dirty you are ready to clean up after you. Resentment can accumulate gradually and for a very long time, and it is very important that you manage to agree among themselves.," says Ryan Hawes.







Thoughtful, serious conversations — not just, “How was your day, darling?” or “What are we going to do this weekend?” — are essential to building strong and warm relationships. According to psychologist Liz Higgins, who works mainly with young couples.

You need to choose the day and time beforehand and then sit down and talk about your relationship. Ask each other the following questions: “What have we done today to understand each other better?”, “What contribution have I personally made to our relationship?”, “I can do something for you?”, “At what point did you feel that I love you most?”

You’ll be embarrassed to ask such strange questions at first, Liz says. But then you will feel that it helps to overcome resentment, irritation and alienation. Make a good habit of talking about your relationship once a week.







Neighbor Syndrome is the silent killer of marriage. This is when a husband and wife feel that they are living parallel lives and are united only by a common apartment, bills and children. "If you're trapped like this, you urgently need to find something that brings energy and passion back into the relationship," says Laura Heck.

Be sure to find a common cause that you both like - start redevelopment of the apartment, learn songs as a duet, start riding bicycles and explore the surroundings of the city together - it can be anything, the main thing is that you two were interested in doing it.







SOURCE Huffingtonpost
Translation Website
Photo from Depositphotos preview


See also.
10 simple truths about relationships that should not be forgotten
12 incredibly simple secrets of a happy relationship


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