If You see another human as a problem — love the end Bashny.Net

"Henry Ful" film by Hal Hartley, 1997, When two people contemplate relationships, it is predictable and guaranteed that at some point, they will open the deepest wounds of each other and push on the sore points. It is a sign of a good relationship, a real relationship. The behavior of one will touch the deepest point in the other, and Vice versa. It was at this point we begin to see each other as a monster who cannot be trusted, from which to defend themselves, which is offensive and callous, reckless and selfish, that needs to change for the sake of the relationship. Wounds that provokes the other person, always take their origin in the more profound injuries of childhood. And even if we are conscious and working on these injuries, when someone we love, provokes these States, we cease to see the other. All that we see unconsciously is cruel, irresponsible, inattentive parent, or any important person from our past. We can't understand how someone can be so blind not to see and not to understand our pain and sensitivity in this matter. Everything that happens in these moments is a tragedy, conflict, pain, confusion, endless debates, anger, and as a result, a growing distrust and distance from each other. When we understand that is the nature of attraction, we can be ready for conflict or discomfort. We can accept these things, even if it hurts. But we also need a way of working through situations in which there is a conflict or pain. Our experience shows that if each is aware of its weaknesses, can recognize those moments when the other touches on these points, there is an opportunity to share with each other more consciously. For example, if our parents keep us controlled, and showed his power, our wounds are revealed in the relationship with a strong partner or friend. The bag, when we feel in control, criticism or care. Another person turns into a monster and we become angry or shocked, perhaps both. On the other hand, perhaps our parents were irresponsible and depressed. In this case, we can be in a relationship with a person who has a tendency to go into shock, fall or give up at the slightest stress. And then every time our partner does not show responsibility or care, we feel that we have betrayed and abandoned. Once you discover the source of the injury – in other words, when we saw the root of these emotions, we have the awareness to do the necessary inner work and not to waste my energy on drama or a reaction. Our job is to feel and Express (when possible) our pain and fear without trying to change the other person. Understanding this allows our love to flow. If we see another person as the problem and concentrate on the reassurance of his or her how imperfect they love dies. источник:psychology-age.ru

Source: www.psychology-age.ru/2014/10/blog-post_64.html