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On this subject, written many books: a great series Dr. Lois P. Frankel "Good girls" who become rich, do not succeed in business and become leaders, "the Secret thoughts of successful women" Valerie young, the "Play like a man," Gail Evans. Even scrolling through them, you can come to the conclusion that the woman in the office finds himself on the sidelines not because the first are given to men, but because she does not claim superiority.
Classic woman believes that if there is a long and hard work to help everyone and all to gain, she will notice, appreciate and enhance. As it is not so. Think for yourself. If you hard and fruitful work, all the rescue and save the joy with which you increase? You and so all satisfied. And if you think that you do not appreciate, well, work harder. Who is not familiar with the situation when a colleague-a man walked on the career turn, appropriated the results of your work (asked for a report to finish or come up with a new strategy), ill-behaved at the meeting, misrepresented your words? The list of tricks which men can spoil the credibility of the women is very long. The question is how to treat this and is it possible to deal with it. Lois Frankel in the book "Good girls don't succeed in business" categorical. Women themselves make mistakes that harm their career. To succeed, you need to stop being a "good girl".
1. Work is just a game
The boys from childhood play in the game right. Not dolls, and war. In the boys ' games, one won, the other lost. Without losers there is no winner. What makes this time girls? Carry the stroller from corner to corner and disguised dolls. "Winner – loser" is a Mature picture of the world. If you do not want to get lost, you can never win. The modern office is not a place to which in time to come, to do all that you require to schedule to have lunch and go home. Not here pram carry and play war games. In every organization, each division has clear leaders and the gray cardinals, rules of conduct and strategies for successful promotion. What suits one chief, not satisfied with the other. To play, follow the rules. To win, start to win.
2. Playing too cautiously, you can't win
Classic business. To be like all unprofitable. To get ahead, you need an outstanding result. What makes a woman? It fulfills all the requirements and wants of others. It does not do what you cannot do. Valid only in the narrow framework of its competence. Afraid someone to disappoint or to fail. Setting a moral limit, it narrows the field of its activities and seems passive. Think what you could get if you break your unwritten rules? Perhaps we should increase the playing field? If you criticize, don't take it personally and don't try to return to peaceful life. Near you there are people for whom you are the competitor. They are interested in that you meekly carried the team, and if successful will attribute it to his leadership. Consider that their criticism is for you to expand its own sphere of influence.
3. Don't be too hard to work
If you are a woman-robot, do not be distracted, keep working. For women it is the norm to be on a par with men, need to work twice as much and faster. They work, work and again work. And complain that work. But in order to achieve something, don't be so hard to plow. Only one work will never be a reason for the increase. It is necessary to add attractiveness, sociability, ability to build relationships, ability to accept responsibility, the mindset of the strategist, the ability to promote their ideas and to develop others. Imagine that the boss chooses candidate for a new position. There is a man he sometimes drinks beer and talks about football and the woman who perfectly fulfills all the orders. The boss does not even know what her character, goals and abilities. Maybe she's only able to make the team? So, 5% of the time should be spent on the creation of relations in the team. Near you people. Talk to them.
4. To do someone else's work
Delegation of authority – a sign of the head. If you do, finish or rework someone else's work you're destroying yourself. You are not responsible for the final product, if the chain involves a large number of people. You don't have to take the rap for all. Lois Frankel writes: "While women do all the dirty work, the men make a career. They are not stupid. Of course, a promotion, a reward for labor, but not necessarily to work for myself." No wonder people are divided into careerists and artists. Careerists spend all your time trying to communicate and create relationships. Borrow the best qualities from both types of workers. Not sufficient at small tasks that don't belong to you. Don't try to solve other people's problems. Don't let to pass on you someone else's work. If you ask for help – help advice. Don't feel guilty if you have to say "no".
5. To work without respite
Very feminine way to work without a break, at lunch, after work and on weekends. First, to be productive, you need every hour and a half distraction. Not having a short rest, I cannot concentrate. Second, the person who wears them, all reproaches of others in idleness. Third, overly zealous employee looks tired, jaded and parietalnae. Such a woman will not trust a new job – she's old enough. Fourth: even if every document – a masterpiece, still colleagues will think or try to create the impression that you are not able to organize their time. If you have no time for anything except work, try to take breaks, take weekends off and just live.
6. To be excessively naive
One thing – a friendly team, where one for all and all for one, and quite another – team competition. You can think of that combines a smoke and a Cup makes you friends, and then discuss your secrets in corporate correspondence. There may be people who are setting up a team against you. No need to think that your trust all have a responsibility to respond with confidence. There may be attempts to openly undermine your authority, to entrust an impossible task to catch us in a mistake. You may see a person who "takes care", but in reality seeks to control your decisions. Poyasnaya situation for yourself. Try to understand motives of behavior of other employees. Don't rely on one person's opinion, it is better to ask several reliable people. If you say that the task is impossible, and only you and him can handle, don't fall. Someone calls for your naivety and hints at exclusivity, so you fell into the trap.
7. Hope that you will appreciate
Often women complain that they are not going to meet until they do not ask. To ask we don't like, but I want to hear how we are appreciated and respected. I'm afraid to ask because you're afraid of failure. But if you do not ask, the situation did not change. When it comes to promotion, a woman thinks everyone understands her the best candidate. Man will never wait in silence. He escapes to the HR Department, ask friends to spread the word, immediately start some gossip about their competitors. We can not wait until you will give deserved or promised, must be reminded of this. If you see that you bypassed, no need to lose sleep, peace and sanity. Verify all the facts and ask when you will be able to get your. It might be human error, not malice. In presenting the request, backed her valid reasons. If you are a Manager, formulate the request as a fait accompli. Choose the right time to talk.
8. To ignore office politics
All employees must comply with office policy. Whoever does not comply with the policy, is out of the game. A career is built and collapses on the basis of mutual relations with people. Every time you do something for other people or supporting their interests, you invest in the relationship. Find out what other people need what you can offer them and how to succeed in a given situation. Work so that others saw in you the solution, not the problem itself.
9. To be too sensitive
Between the good and the right thing to do there is a big difference. It is possible to disrupt the vote, demanding justice and denouncing of others in violation of the order and of bad faith. But relationships and career it won't help. Remember, work is just a game. Choose your position carefully, don't set yourself against colleagues. If you decide to risk good relations, such a risk must be justified.
10. Capping of bores and fools
Do not turn into a scapegoat. If you distract from work, ask not to do it. If you are accused of someone else's mistake, feel free to point out the culprit. If the source is silly and unrealistic job requirements – your boss, find another job.
11. To be silent and submissive
Many women keep silent and obey, so as not to seem controversial or aggressive. If you are accused of arrogance and arrogance, one goal: shut your mouth or misrepresent your main idea. State your points firmly but politely. Perform at each business meeting, with an emphasis on the fact that if there is a problem, the main thing – to find a way to solve the problem. Not to look aggressive, be interested in the opinions of others, do a short summary and present your vision.
12. Afraid to benefit from the relationship
It is unlikely that the woman uses the relationships or experience to get a job or to get promoted. And the man will never give up patronage. This does not mean that women are honest or principled. This means that men use all the available opportunities. Feel free to get acquainted, to ask you to submit to the right person. Introduce yourself to people with similar interests. Please contact friends for advice and recommendations. Get advice, ask whether you can refer to their opinion.