5 reasons why the child is lying





фото:www.quedelicianegente.com Children's lies can be fun, but most often indicates a deeper problem that cannot be ignored. What is worth considering, if a child is lying? Children sooner or later learn to lie. Everyone lies, but some more often than others – usually those who are not confident. Child lies to avoid punishment or add to his worth in the eyes of peers or elders. While most children lie hides a deeper problem, each of which requires from parents a special approach. Child psychologist Lawrence kutner, author of five books on child psychology for parents, lists 5 reasons that encourage children to lie. The fear of punishment. Children are afraid that they will be punished. Especially if the parents are punished is not a joke and have the children unrealistic expectations. For example, the mother wants five-year-old daughter without reminders neatly folded her clothes and cleaned off the table after a meal. When she asked if she'd done it, she answers "Yes", even if actually forgot about it. As a result, the mother complains that the child is lying, but underneath is a completely different problem – too high expectations in relation to the girl. The child simply cope with the situation as you can. Considering that the girl still didn't know how and don't have a voice in the family, a lie is just a way of adaptation.

Increase self-esteem. Students lie to improve their status and to look better in the eyes of his comrades. For example, they say that met a rock star, famous athlete or actor, or exaggerate the wealth of the parents. If it only happens from time to time, you can not worry about what a child is lying: boasting and a "game of the supermen" for children – a common occurrence. But if the child again and again exaggerating your social status, it's a signal. This means that the child is lying consistently, because seriously dissatisfied with myself. In this situation, you can find out why he feels worthless or humiliated. Maybe he was not paying attention? Maybe laugh at him and humiliate him?

Protest. For many children lying is a way to go against the restrictions, to challenge the authority of parents. At the age of 10-12 years, they feel that there's nothing to tell about all to parents. So the children could lie in the answer to the question which is perceived as a manifestation of parental authority and pressure.

Establishing personal boundaries. As they grow, the child begins to feel keenly the importance of independence, privacy and personal space. And the more parents try to take care of it and control, the more the child is lying or been so secretive. Often children also rude, emphasizing their desire to be alone. "Where are you going?" – "Anywhere!". "What are you doing?" – "Nothing". "Who is it?" "You don't know him".

Problems in the family. When the baby is lying too much and constantly, it is a sign that there is something wrong. This is especially true in those cases where the lies are added to theft and vandalism. If victims of childhood mischief be other family members, it deserves special attention – it is often a gesture of despair, a cry for help, it is much more expressive than words. Often this happens with children whose parents are considering divorce. To arrange the theft of or damage to the parent thing – often these kinds of actions conceal the attempt to force parents to unite again, at least for a while. This motivation is unconscious to the child, but his actions speak clearly about his needs.

 

источник:psychologies.ru

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