Where I am, who I am: do You like what You like?

© Andrew B. Myers

Very often, we are a very unhappy, but to understand what needs to change and, most importantly, where to start — very difficult. Is it worth trying to change your personality or efforts should be made to accept yourself? What is the basis of self-esteem? translation of the article writer John Kane, published in his blog Raptitude.

One day my beloved CBC radio host Sheila Rogers announced in the air that closes the morning show to rest. I was impressed with how she explained the reasons for the decision. Sheila said that for many years her colleague regularly goes to the God-forsaken house somewhere in the North: chopping wood, reading, walks with the dogs. When she asked why this place means so much to him, a colleague said, "Well... I think I like who I am when I'm there." According to Sheila, the morning show made her feel exactly the opposite feeling: she had to get up at 3:30 in the morning, to go to the Studio and forced to return to work for the well before sunrise.

When I heard this, I sat in the office at your workplace. I realized that I definitely do not like who I was at that moment. I didn't like yourself when you were on the phone with clients, communicated with contractors, sat in the meetings. Do not think of anything better, I decided to build a house up North and every couple of months to run up there to chop wood and read books, sat by the stove.

This idea — "do I Like who I am?" — not once visited me the next year, and in the end I realized how much it means to this question. I should probably ask yourself that every time you do something familiar. And if the answer is no, you need to ask yourself how come it has become a permanent part of life, and so if necessary.

"Lots of unfulfilled promises can only further lower our self-esteem: it is squeezing out its juices as long as we do not achieve or do not understand that we don't need it".Sometimes it seems that we naturally attract to themselves the lessons that nourish our self-confidence. But really, for the most part, we are driven by vague expectations, inertia and the pursuit of reward. Meanwhile, in order for the third time to watch a lousy movie, and to call a friend, we often choose the first — not because this selection promises more than a pleasant pastime, but because, as a rule, we vote for immediate promotion: predictability, simplicity and freedom from risk. The opportunity to do something just because it will make you better, does not fit into this picture.

Question: "do I Like myself when doing that?" is different from the question: "do I do that?". Some satisfaction can be experienced after an argument on the Internet, overeating, the decision to stay home Saturday night, but this does not mean that you will be pleased with himself at this point. Any of these activities can become a habit, and before you smell a rat, it can take many years.

Each of us sometimes get the feeling that we are too far away from the best in yourself. Sometimes it is impossible to understand what's wrong, then we need to step back and rethink your priorities. Seeing their own mistakes, we often rush to make lists of important cases — such as those that write Jan 1: more running, less sitting at home, write your book and behave responsibly. But this mass of unfulfilled promises can only further lower our self-esteem: it is squeezing out its juices as long as we do not achieve or do not understand that we don't need it. Self-esteem seems inextricably linked to identity, which can be felt only if we are busy making our life meaningful.

"Between a third time to watch a lousy movie, and to call a friend, we often choose the first — not because this selection promises more than a pleasant pastime, but because, as a rule, we vote for immediate promotion: predictability, simplicity and freedom from risk."The ability to ask yourself the question: "What am I doing when I like who I am?" the easiest way to understand what you're missing (and what in life too much). It is often useful for mental and physical health classes, from which we distract inertia, does not seem to be something needed as long as we get back again and feel pride. I like myself when I run and ride my bike, and don't like arguing on the Internet about politics. Of course, there are classes that require significant effort — but the reward in this case can also be big.

And, of course, we can wonder whether everything that we do or cease to do. It seems that this is the litmus test that lets you know what is important and what is not. And, for example, it gives the answer to the question, what sport to choose to get back in shape, if you feel you've missed the point. Instead of psyching yourself out by insisting that we need "smarter" or "work more", you can use this question as a compass or a map. It allows you to move intelligently instead of just randomly go where the landscape looks more hospitable. It is not necessary to show to themselves and their way of life, no demands and do not appreciate them. Just ask yourself this question, yet life goes on, and the elements themselves will manifest itself.published

Source: theoryandpractice.ru