scene from the movie Scott Hicks "Taste of life"
I'm just a girl. My duty
Before the marriage of the crown
Not to forget that everywhere the wolf
And remember: I am a sheep.
To dream about a castle of gold,
To swing, to whirl, to shake
First a doll, and then
Not a doll, and almost...
In my hand to be a sword
Not going to ring the string.
I'm the only girl— silent.
Oh, if I
Looking at the stars to know that there
And I star
And smile to all eyes,
Don't look down!
I recently watched a revealing situation in the beauty salon: little boy, about two years old, were waiting for mom's treatments. The kid was interested by everything, fidgeting, unable to sit still, and my mother tried to raise him. Joined a couple of the employees of the salon. And suddenly in the women's discus and the flickering was born the phrase: "Sit still, don't be cranky, you're a boy!"
You're a boy!And what said the kid between the lines? — most likely, it came to him asking to carefully hide their emotions, not to learn adequately and it is acceptable to Express them, not to examine yourself to try to understand what situations cause comfort and what is discomfort, what you like and what not; not to study the human deep dialogue with other people, in other words to deny yourself the development and manifestation of such fragile, sensitive, intuitive, sensitive — the female part of his soul. In many cultures it is believed that a man should be Mature, logical, reasonable, rational, and not inclined to be under the influence of moods and emotions, otherwise the world will occidit him that he is not manly in their behavior like a woman. As a result, men, even children, to catch those messages and tried his best to avoid contact with their feelings, emotions, moods, and begin to devalue is an important skill and directly to women.
For the Mature and sound development of personality it is better that men and women were equally and harmoniously developed in both sexes! Because it expands the range of reactions and behavior in different situations, enriches spiritually and mentally, makes it easier to understand each other, allows to be more flexible and plastic. That is a strength, not a weakness. A woman can be thin, to bring the world of radiant and contagious energy, be able to feel deeply and empathize, to create, to rely on their intuition, but also to set important goals for yourself, achieve them, to be sensible, Mature and logical. Unfortunately, in our "too masculine" world, aimed at the race, the result and build careers, it is very difficult harmoniously and fully develop themselves.
The modern world "offers" too much money for the development of male qualities and daily confronts us with situations in which these qualities somehow have to develop to meet the requirements to meet schedules and timelines, to conform to the norms of morality, rules, to compete, to focus on statuses. Unfortunately, girls in the childhood often get the exact same message, ban that and boys, and are beginning to focus on men's values, which become for them some reference points, to develop a predominantly male quality, not having at hand the means to the recess in the womanliness! From this place we start talking about women's envy...
In the company of men in the bath she will never be his"Jealousy arises when the woman doesn't value themselves, their femininity, says analytical psychologist Victoria Bochina, — when you do not know how to deal with this part of your soul and how to use it in this harsh Patriarchal world. The lack of culture of empathy and compassion in families, and instead, attempts immediately to constructively solve problems, give advice and follow them, minimally or not at all focusing on feelings and emotions, impede the development of the female, intuitive, sensitive, and develop men's only rational and reasonable function. Girl so brought up will be very difficult subsequently to inhale the feminine energy in a relationship with a man, with yourself and with the world. In particular, it would be difficult to talk about yourself and feelings. But it is so important and so valuable a woman is to be in contact with feelings! Carl Gustav Jung talked about the fact that the female saves".
"The modern world — continues the thought of the analytical psychologist Anna Pankova, declares the power of the mind over the instincts, it is the triumph of the male over the female, and dictates the gap with their wishes, in other words — a break with the feminine component of the soul. In families, mothers often can't tell their daughters "the story of women": what do I want, what I don't want what I am. As a result, the female is killed and the girl lost in the attempt of self-realization intrudes on the men's field, men's world, races and competitions. But then she finds herself in competition that the a priori plays: she would never become a man, in fact, no matter how it tried to develop a male in his soul. Here are born female jealousy and rage."
Summarizing the above, the man might be jealous of the woman not receiving adequate funds for deepening in women, indulges in the society imposed on men, a clear and precise world with the requirements which have to face every day. She, too, decides to achieve, to compete and to build a career, devoting himself to it without reserve, and forcing their femininity to starve.
"To envy, — says Anna, a woman needs to be psychologically of the same sex with a man. She was jealous of him from his male part! She doesn't know how to handle the world like a woman, but a true man would never succeed. Metaphorically speaking, a woman will never be her man in the bath!"
It is only for God. It is only for God who is in nevbada the issue of female jealousy different for men and women, I realized that opinions converge: this is the most jealousy arises to supposed greater independence of men. The factor of independence and often still is called both sexes. Indeed, from time immemorial, all trades were directed at men, making a woman feel inferior, unable to achieve the same result, which was under the power of the man. A permanent stay in the state of pregnancy in the absence of choice to go this way or not, also struck up a woman in the corral constraints and dependencies as from the nature of physiology, and again from men who took care of the family. War in world history is also severely limited a woman into addiction and turned her world in the men's, where women were forced to assume male functions.
The entire history of human development pervades some bias towards the woman, starting with the biblical images of Adam and eve, which reflect the ancient connection between the sexes. Such a relationship also reflects the symbolic relationship between the sun and the Moon. It was always considered that the Sun symbolizes the masculine and the Moon feminine.
Solar and Lunar cycles are opposite to each other: solar, male, cycle, controls the day and the Lunar, feminine, ruled the night. It turns out that the masculine Light as opposed to Darkness — beginning of the female. In this choice of the symbols of the Sun and the moon is the understanding of the relationship between the sexes since ancient times: the moon has no own light, it reflects the light of the Sun. In this light, it is born and changes. It is God that is in it.
The second fact is clearly related to concern about the power of female sexuality. Not in vain the power of men at all times tried to keep in check, to control and tame. For example, in one of the tribes of East Africa husband and wife do not sleep together — it was thought that women's breathing deprives man of power. Such beliefs and attempts of men through various ceremonies and rituals to control the dark and mysterious female sexuality in one form or another are found in all historical eras.
"Studs is a female response to the male world, — says Anna Pankova. — It's a woman's attempt to take power over the male power with sexuality. But here lies a trap — in this case, the woman begins to look at men's eyes. She thinks, looks like, and adapts to man's desire so to reflect it. It is only awakening the desire of men, a woman can rely on. But then it's not about love".
It seems that since ancient times it was believed that a woman is a creature of demonic and possesses magical powers capable of causing harm to man and this creature to tame, enslave and control. In this aspect it is interesting to speculate about the medieval period burning "witches", in other words — about the destruction of the sexually attractive women.
So, the historical shadow of depreciation, lying on the figure of the woman of today, continues, though not so clearly, but much more passively influence the position of women in the modern world.
"Today, women generally occupy a niche of "helping and service professions," says Victoria Bochina. Women are very much in education, medicine. Teachers, educators, pediatricians, nurses, various social workers, most of whom have obscenely low wages that might undermine their social. Or take the stereotypes of the type "first do not call, and indeed not the first..." — it's also the devaluation of women's desires and feelings, which, in principle, easier to devalue than men. Try to argue with men's achievements and women need to see and notice..."
The keys to genkompanii events, involving people deeper and better feel and are aware of the features and because of their gender, are born psychologically men and women are called initiations. Men become personal and grow, basically, achieving success, gaining status, extending the social world, building a career and feeling accountable. By contrast, women from the outer world are turning to the world of internal, bodily, in particular, learning about motherhood and sexuality, developing sensitivity, intuition, creating.
"A purely feminine initiation in contrast to the male, — says Anna — physiological nature: the onset of menstruation, the act of defloration, pregnancy, childbirth and lactation, the climacteric change."
All these processes are in constant dialogue vague feelings and sensations of a woman with his own body, with her stay in various natural physiologic cycles. Sensual relationship with your own body just contributes to development of intuition, finding contact with the instincts and the woman throws a shadow of mystery constantly unfolding from inside her body invisible processes.
But the device of physiology is not enough to ensure that the initiation, or the psychological birth of a woman, really accomplished. In our day, the woman largely loses touch with his own body, drowning out the pain of deliberately refusing breast feeding, or even natural childbirth. A lot of women don't know how to orgasm, that too indicates a lost connection with your own body.
In the modern world of women's initiation, unfortunately, more and more lose their psychological value and, like the men's becomings, too, like to be social. "For example, says analytical psychologist Olga Mikulina, for many women now a significant aim is the social marriage, having nothing in common with the psychological component of this process and are ready to him."
"Where, then, modern woman find ways for their psychological development and self realization?" — I asked the question myself and psychologists.
"Women need to enhance self-worth! claimed Victoria Bochina. — Not to expect this from the outside or from a partner. After all, the depreciation of something always involves two parties, and it occurs when the woman does not assume the responsibility to myself to love and respect, and falls into the victim role, when he feels it is not appreciated."
And what about envy? — I thought and got a comprehensive and coherent response. "When a woman feels your feminine power, will choose the female line of behavior, will be able to admit their weaknesses and withdraw from the men's style of behavior; when you can admit that she experiences different feelings and is in contact with them, will be able to share them, talk about needs and desires, then she doesn't need to be jealous! It is in itself valuable, and the man itself is valuable. But when partners feel this vzaimnosti, then there is a sense of gratitude and respect to each other." published
Author: Ksenia Talbina