“Cat's pajamas”. About the victims of our projections

Ray Bradbury is a story about a girl who personally tailored and sewed her kitten pajamas for the night. In fact, the story is not about that, and about the meeting of two young people, each of them very kind to your pet and saw him as something more than just a cat.

My story about PROJECTION. About whom we see in their Pets. And not only in them, by the way.

Projection – generally, an amazing thing! It is the ability of our psyche to endow things, animals, people (especially children) those qualities that they can have a very weak relationship, but it is very important for us.

Imagine that each of us is equipped with a special projector which can project your own movie on any suitable object. The content of this “kin” will depend entirely on our experience and what we know and what can be assumed is that “we carry within ourselves”.

For example, look at the photo of this girl. What do you think about her? Who is she? What does he do? If you write your vision of the heroine of this photo in the comments right now, then we will be able to discover how different projections we are able to “hang” on one and the same person.



photo: Alexander Polyakov

This capacity for projection helps the investigator to calculate the bandit – he can guess how bandit thinks he can be a bandit. “ But with the same probability, the investigator is able to project an innocent man is something that no one has nothing to do, to see him as someone else.

But we can't imagine in person what I have no idea. All that we attribute to another is part of our inner world, it is in ourselves, in greater or lesser degree. So all the detectives a little bandits, but the bandits easily perekvalifitsiruetsya righteous and implacable detectives.)

Projection is the unconscious mechanism. We can't force ourselves to see in others what we “need”. Rather, what we project on others, as we see them, we can determine the components of the self.

Here is the next principle – we are brighter and stronger we see in others those qualities that are superseded, they are not aware of themselves. The fact that it is difficult for us to see ourselves as we clearly see in other people. As if our own film projector helped us see a little bit of his own essence. Not only see, but also to find. Any entity committed to integrity, and the projection mechanism helps us to engage in dialogue with those parts of the self, with whom dialogue is impossible inside. Whether it's the love and admiration or hatred and enmity – the important thing is that the dialogue will take place. A classic example – people are categorically against homosexuality. Rage is also a dialogue.

“as you a boat name, so it will float”.
“you call a man a pig he's a pig and will be.”The other side of the projection mechanism is as our projections change the object to which they are directed.

Strange but true – between two people, especially loved ones creates a kind of “field” (E. Fromm), which changes both the subject. Faster and changing the one that initially configured to match the vision of a significant person.

that animals and children are the best screens for our projections.Again, the mechanism of unconscious projection, we do not say to another: “Be so”. We unconsciously need that he was. And they become so.

Projections can also be verbal broadcast:

“You're just like grandma Anna...”
To be the same as grandma Anna meant to be greedy, selfish, only think about themselves, stupid, narrow-minded and generally being a very unpleasant man.

“Look, you're a slob! You absolutely can't organize!”
In this case, the child becomes a carrier of my mother's “carelessness” with which she can not engage in dialogue.

Five-year-old boy in a family consisting of three women who can carry the projection of “the only men in the family,” “men, from which all depends and to carry this unbearable burden on their shoulders.

Victims of the projections of doing something for someone, be the heroes of another movie. They're playing someone else's role, often taking on other people's commitments, strange diseases, strange destiny. They were trying to do and to finish what did not the one whose projection on it hangs.

animals and children – dumb, pliable material for our projections.The dog can readily carry the projection of your second or third child, and for you to be them. A cat can become a reflection of your rebellious soul.

The animals are very well adjusted to requests of the host. Even externally, they can be incredibly similar to the hosts.

So, incidentally, often behave and adopted children, they become like their adoptive parents more than siblings and may even adopt genetically inherited (!) congenital diseases of the kind. All that would be part of this system, join it, become “like a native”, such as “real son” or same as “dad”. To live up to its expectations and projections.

Animals are also “happily” take our projection. If they do, they can hurt us the most, do not have human ailments. They can die from cancer and diabetes, freeing us from having to live through these diseases, “walking” in our family system. They can die instead of us following the close or his death to Express our deep depression.

often the most ordinary thing for us becomes something much bigger.The child, not the mourner after my mom died, suddenly falls into a deep regression, after grandma decided to throw out his old, well-worn baby blanket. For several years this blanket for him was “mom.”

Once in the net I found a review of one of the users of the website of author handbags. This woman was the owner of a small suede handbag with fringe: “This bag is for me - just my female sexual organ! I never parted!” Even so.

due to the ability of our psyche to the projections, we can meet outside before it is difficult for us to meet in. thus we are trying to restore their integrity.But this integrity we recover the expense of others.

Daughter can become mom the opportunity to realize their feminine attractiveness and sexuality. Mom will dress her instead of yourself and use as a shield, showing the society as its projection. And the girl will be forced to play an alien role to be my mother's replacement. Often in relationship with the father she has to play the role of “wife” and “adult women, taking care and showing sexuality is mom.

On the sons of single women, often hanging projection “only men” and “true companion”, which does not allow these men to betray your mother and live your life.”

recognizing his own, on the one hand, and removing other people's projections on the other, we exempt their children from having to go for us our tasks and give yourself the opportunity to live your unique life in its entirety. Author: Irina Dubova

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: dybova.ru/blog/