The decline of the era of alpha males

Two friend my best friend marry men younger than them for seven and eight years. Both thirty, that is, the groom twenty-two and twenty-three years. Best friend is not a prude and not boring, but she's itching curiosity: after all, twenty-two years is quite a bit. And when a woman meets a man or marry him, in 99 percent of cases of a man waiting for... let's say, support.

In thirty years, those of my friends — an independent girl. What can you say about a young man of twenty-odd years?

Many people think that in twenty-two the man is still a child. In the sense that he will not lead you into a spacious house that was "full Cup" (sorry, Lord) and "fortress". He himself was not "ancient." At twenty-two the man is clearly not ruling the world, decides the fate of alpha Centauri and continues to war with one movement of the touchpad. And all of this means that he not really a man. That is, it can not "count". What, in fact, the calculation, anyone not really clear. Women have already been at no counting, except that the credit Department of a Bank or a specialist on artificial insemination.

But honestly, we women still rely on such murky notions of reality, as "masculinity" and "femininity" in front of her. In the classic version next to the "manly" "real" man is this "femininity" is manifested as:

Swiftly after the romantic period, when all the advantages women bring a man to love her begin to twist arms, turning these advantages to the interference. The "real" man annoying her independence, success, friend. Of her dress. Her nails. A man wants to keep it the same, but all inferior to him. A manly man of excitable boyfriend turns into a lazy nerd who is fun that looking for (and, apparently, can not find the eggs in his underwear (which is asleep, and wash, and watching your TV series "homeland").

As soon as the woman difficulties arise, a manly man, acts like debt, of course, obliges, but he really really do not want to deal with other people's troubles that you deliberately wrote the wrong time. From a caring listener who is interested in the opinion of the partner about the latest fashion weeks, the "real" man becomes a Martyr, doomed to endless tedious sermons about all sorts of stupid rags.

In General, a complete list of tantrums from any women's magazine on the theme of "all men from Elektrostal, all women — from the library of poetry".

But it's true. Women are looking for external evidence of masculinity like a large figure, a successful career, rigor and complete ignorance on the topic of "what is Prada. And then they hiccup of sobs in the kitchen with a friend, writing under the Palekh his unfortunate personal life.

But back to the men twenty-two (relatively) years.

The first time I am seriously disappointed in the stereotypes when introduced to Mitya, who was then twenty-six. We worked in the same publishing house. Mitya was (and is) the opposite of this "masculinity". Tall, thin as a twig, eyes as icons. Gentle, delicate. But I didn't see the man who would be attentive and responsible towards his careless mom and girl, which, incidentally, was his senior by eight years. Here he appeared to me like a real man, if it is understood as a desire to take care of loved ones — and undoubtedly, without any whims or grouchy male coquetry from the series again, I need for everyone to decide, but I have a head on your shoulders".

Best friend look to their friends (who are married) and saw that their young people may not yet quite adult men, but behave so that her friends feel with them women. It is a question of sexuality, by the way. For "real" men sex is often a way to prove something. For example, that he a beautiful young woman — and therefore he is "male".

There's a joke: a millionaire brings in a gorgeous country house, beautiful model. Tra-La-La, champagne, oysters, Jacuzzi. Then it exports it into the woods, forced to undress and make a snowman. Brings back home to the Jacuzzi and said, "Well, in bed I'm not so hot, and the snowman you just remember".

This is a very "male" joke. "Manly" men a lot of complexes about sex. Starting from "take your hands from under the blanket to fear their own latent homosexuality. So sex for them is not important. Not that they don't like sex. But they are all difficult. And for some reason a very important question this ridiculous dominance — who gets the "next" and so on.

A new generation has grown up in a world where everything has changed. Maybe it was brought up in very traditional families, but the window was already shining new era, which have adopted a different attitude to the woman.

That's how many times I've seen women of thirty-five see of men, say, six years younger — and they're completely different beginning to feel. Not because younger lover (this is only for men the age difference is something like the medal for special merits). But because they see a different attitude. And other settings. And these settings are much more masculine than the stereotypical ideas about "masculinity". It's all about respect. And in the rapture. If a man you absolutely, definitely respect all the time and admires you, it completely changes your world.

Man the new generation is not jealous. Not in the sense that to other men, and to your own life. To a career. Good luck. Friends. Intellect, and experience. He, again, respects it and admires it. And sex is only fun because he wants you, not me, he's nothing to prove.

It's not very easy to understand out of the blue how these young people grew up others is similar to how post-war generation was different from, for example, generation of the Brezhnev stagnation. How yuppie is different from the hippies.

But what they lack of so many biases that affect older men — that's for sure. They are more relaxed. If older men are to wheeze, "Yes, I am one of them!" they are in their years enjoy life without any suffering on the fact that they have not yet built a house and did not grow a tree. They do not weigh endlessly his manhood on the scales of success and consistency.

Maybe someone they seem amorphous, but they are just a different style. You can't even tell that they later grow up — they are in many ways wiser and more interesting than those who in twenty years has already ensured his wife and two children, not sparing his stomach and cursing his penis which led him into this gloomy forest.

I know of only two men 35 and older, who treat women like these men of the new wave. Remaining in constant unequal struggle with the ghosts of their own mistakes.

And women just done. And as soon as they realize that the relationship is not biathlon, their life never becomes the same. Everything changes: the conscious and subconscious, self-evaluation. Even feeling the touch of the wind. published


Author: Arina Choline


P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©


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