How to get the men in your life

You look around and realize that there are no men. This season did not deliver. In a notebook under male names appear except that a couple of long-standing and well married buddies in social networks too, as it is all bleak — as a friend or ask the gallant uncles of fifty, or "shkolota." And like smart, adult, interesting, equal in status... And where to get?

Perhaps, once you had a crowd of admirers. Your phone was blowing up from the offers and invitations. Flowers birthday did not fit in the tub. At the dance you have tired to change the knights for real, because I really have no strength in my legs for the next "slow", not because it tells the label for decency to relax and take a break.

So it was, until one day you found yourself enchanted. You went through a bad breakup, rejection, betrayal, loss. And then a traumatic event some time men did not want to. No: neither new nor clever nor brilliant nor beautiful. And then time passed, and cardiac wound is firmly healed, but you're already used to not want. Not to see, not to close, not to touch, to fend for themselves.

Or maybe many fans had never been, and new men would like. Here only it is unclear what is to stop doing so they will want you to be curious and approach. Because you, of course, fabulously beautiful, and men did not come close to the lady so attractive, obviously need to keep some very serious and energy-consuming defense.

It often happens that the woman decided that it would be time already in a new relationship. Preferably serious, with the prospect of the wedding, the joint education of children, and a quiet old age surrounded by loving grandchildren. Her mind had a certain image of man, bad husbands and fathers of future children. But everything is not the same. Do not fit, do not match.

The circle becomes closed. Woman aims — serious relationship with a suitable man. She's texting for Dating sites, immediately dismissing anyone looking for a light flirtation. It happens in places where traditionally it is acquainted, asking friends, acquaintances and relatives act as matchmakers, but everything is to no avail. Again not the same — or anyone.

"I have no time for serious relationship, I'm not 18 years old. It's time to have kids, biological clock is ticking". "I'm tired of relationships that lead to nothing. I would like to meet someone who will become a husband." I often hear from women about this. But, alas, wanting to save time and effort, immediately dismissing as "frivolous" women actually spend much more time and effort than they could, because they do not give themselves time and space to heal.

When teaching shooting are taught and "amendment to the wind" when you choose. Yes, we would like to get here, to this point, but there are uncontrolled elements, which makes adjustments to our plans, and it must be taken into account. In the case of relations "side wind" is our fears, grudges, pain, Unforgiven or incomplete. Being burdened with this baggage, it's hard to see a new man for what he really is. Too many want him to hang from the past, to complete, to finish. Or to ascribe it to the fact that it is actually there, and then be offended because he really isn't, and called a "liar" and "scoundrel".

Therefore, the purpose here is better to adjust, add intermediate. Not "find the perfect candidate for a husband right now", and thaw, raskoldovat, to decide to open up to the world and make new acquaintances. For example, there is a job for those who have too long lingered in the "female world" — to build 10 new friendly safe relationships with men simultaneously. No highlighting, not rejecting and not bringing too. To live in a fairy tale about the seven dwarfs or the seven knights, while the groom lost somewhere in transit.

If you have decided that it is time for men to start, start with the safest and most unnecessary. Try to meet people for anything. On Dating sites quite a lot of men who have the goal of sex tonight. This option is not for you. Religious people there are those who bills itself the status of "wife", "only for creating a family — a small Church". It is also not for you now. You better just to chat, enjoy reading, learn to let go of anxiety during contact.

After a painful break or long loneliness in women there is often the unconscious or even conscious desire men to retaliate. For all the unfulfilled hopes. For every night in the arms of a stuffed rabbit and a Cup of tea for every tear. And these negative feelings sometimes expressed is not the person who actually called, and the first comer who had the misfortune to fall under the hand.

If someone from new acquaintances you did not avenge him, don't savor the details. Do not write in social networks: "Oh, girls, come out tonight, come be a real jerk! Was late for 15 minutes, came — can you imagine? — without flowers, took an icy wind to walk in the open field, and when I'm cold, refused to buy me a coffee for 200 rubles. Well, of course I slammed the door and left. You're a jerk! As he is not ashamed to write a decent girl".

Of course, this status can cause a lot of sympathetic comments. I agree with you: "Yes, a goat! Yeah, you freak! Heartless beast". But he will help you very much to reinforce their grievances and fears, especially if you will help to make the generalization: "All men are ...".

Even the person with whom you do not want to meet a second time, thank you for your time. Today, when most people are very busy, and separated by great distances, to get even a bad meeting is the act of showing interest and respect for you. And please be careful not to dismiss it out of hand, simply because he is in the first ten minutes of the meeting "did not seem". Perhaps it will help you to raskoldovat and defrost. Be ready to meet with the chosen one until the mountains somewhere rides.published


Author Olga Gumanova


P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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