The passive aggressor: avenger of Evil behind a mask of sadness

The passive aggressor — a knife in the back or peaceful coexistence?

There are people, which never can be relied on in a difficult situation — they are suddenly sick, in the family of force majeure, work blockage. And it is not clear, it's human nature, or banal bad luck.

There is this concept of "passive-aggressive personality," which was formulated during world war II, American psychiatrist, Colonel Meningeom. At war were the soldiers who were in no hurry with the execution, although it seemed that the orders they carry out unquestioningly. No reason, no reason, suddenly failed equipment, broken weapons, military units arrived in the prescribed area is not at the time, and military operations have failed before it started.


It was clear that the reason was human factor, but to send the soldiers to the Tribunal, there was no reason. In our Soviet army also occurred such events. They were considered sabotage (hidden counter) and until 1958 was tried under article 58 of the RSFSR Criminal code.

Angry vigilante in the guise of sadness

After the war the problem remained relevant: a production sector suffered economic losses. American psychiatrists became interested in this unusual phenomenon and obsessed with the investigation. Usually the situation developed in a similar scenario: a worker receives a task from the head, pledging to implement it in due time, but suddenly lacked the necessary materials, broken device, or the employee gets injured.

It turns out that 70% of people have similar characteristics of mentality: constantly complain about life. However, do not rush to feel sorry for them. For sad facial expressions hiding the evil monster that hates lucky people and willing to do anything to annoy them for their success. Such people are called Passive Aggressors.

How to recognize a passive aggressor

Each of us met the passive aggressor. Even young children choose for themselves this way, leaving a silent resistance. Not knowing what was happening, few can recognize them. Although their techniques in relation with familiar people is about the same:

Forget everything.

The passive aggressor has promised you pokleit Wallpaper, but at the appointed time you don't discover this man at home. It is justified by the fact that we just forgot about you.

Happen unexpectedly, does not require urgent circumstances. The passive aggressor

takes the initiative and gets an important project, but as soon as the time comes for delivery, the person dying grandmother in another city, and he needed to go.

They avoid conflict.

Never passive, the aggressor will not tell you directly and honestly that he didn't want to contact you. This manipulator will agree to cooperate with you, but it will cost you wasted money and nerves. These people will be the last to hope that the problem will become irrelevant and the problem will fall off by itself, but will never refuse the request.

Their behavior makes you angry or creates a sense of helplessness. Like nothing said, nothing done: just "kidding", expressed his point of view, humiliate your dignity. They will take revenge at any cost.

If a person is offended by you, you will learn about it only when your back already

you will get stabbed. And you will long puzzle — when and what he was offended, under any circumstances, because nothing foreshadowed such an act.

"Success is never fair" - I think all the passive aggressors. Head? So, give the paw. Rich? Means stole. A promotion is sleeping with the head!

How to interact with a passive aggressor?

What if among your colleagues or family members still there is a passive aggressor?

There are two methods of disposal of the passive aggressor:

Hard method

All the passive actions of the aggressor are taken under strict control. It is required to maintain an accurate schedule, and performing tasks at the scheduled time. No sudden reasons to wriggle out of the case will not be accepted. Otherwise, dismissal, or separation.

Soft method

Need to know what passive aggressors consider themselves undervalued and misunderstood in the team. The feeling of dependence on colleagues and loved ones contrary to them in attempts to become independent. Passive aggressor need to call to talk and tell about its importance in the family or at work. Regular praise does not work, you should cite specific cases where he showed his best side. Find these facts, otherwise he'll see through your lies!

It is not necessary to prove the passive aggressor that his view of the world is wrong. Show him that his way of interaction does not bring him any benefit. Unless this person can experience true joy for the failure of colleagues, which he himself had framed. But from malice salary will not increase, but the chance of being fired increases sharply. If you are lucky, you will succeed in the "soft" way — you will get in the face of the passive aggressor of honest and decent officer. The main thing — do not use both "soft" and "hard" ways, otherwise this man easily you will bite and will turn the situation against you.

There is a perception that passive aggressors is the result of no quality control or training. But even Mahatma Gandhi used in his activities with passive aggression. However, he did it in the name of a wonderful future of his people, and not from a desire to annoy someone.

Can you use this method of manipulation to achieve their goals? published


Author: Maria Kudryavtseva

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki



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