Liability vs Debt Bashny.Net

I have long and basically do not like — at least, for me — the idea of doing something in a relationship, because "as necessary", "so should", "so excited". That is from the word "should". I like when everything happens in a pair as a gift. Out of the surplus. For the reason that it is impossible not to share — so much. I want to note that I don't think in terms of "this is the only correct option," I respect all the others, if someone they fit, I am talking exclusively about myself.

For me it's like sex — much nicer to receive something from the partner, seeing that he's enjoying himself that's doing it because he wants and chooses to, not because Kamasutra ordered or bed etiquette requires. Prelude from here to here. From the fence before lunch.





And just as the trembling from the passion of a woman in bed much more interesting than the one that "closes his eyes and thinks of the UK" partner doing something for the other because he gets pleasure from the process or the result pleases a lot more than fulfills the compulsory program. Valentine on February 14. Bouquet for March 8. Shaving gel on February 23. Socks there.

For me there is a huge difference between duty and responsibility. Duty is something imposed from the outside. Or OK you just learned, this is not always done by force, often simply because "so in this forest opened". The responsibility that comes from within, being the product of a conscious decision, a choice.

I choose to take care of this person to create the causes for happiness. I decide to mend our relationship, if they are broken, because I really value them and realize their value. I decide not to hurt this man, other attachments and if someone else turns me on or attracts, I'll take that excitement and bring it back to your partner: everything in the house, everything in the house.

My choice is to notice all that he pleases, to remember and whenever possible, try to do it. I want to give him enough space for his thoughts and deeds, so as not to stifle their presence. I want to regulate this balance of presence and absence of each other in each of our lives. I'll try to be very honest with yourself and with your partner in a timely manner, presenting his thoughts and feelings, gently and carefully choosing the form so as to preserve his self-esteem and warmth between us.

I love your son very much and that's okay. And not for the world I wouldn't want to part with it. To take care of him, watch him grow, to invest in its development and Express our love to him — my choice. I really want this, and no "parental duty" has nothing to do with it. To see him happy is a great joy for me, and so I do what I do. And I here absolutely do not care about the standards. Wants an earring in his ear — let the bears, wants to shave the head — but for God's sake, I don't care what people think about this, the class teacher, head teacher and school principal, in 12 years, people already can make their own decisions as they look. I had time to instil a sense of common sense and I trust him that he will be able to stay within it, transforming its appearance.

If he brings two unloved items — I'm happy for him because he invests the power that really loves many other things he does seriously better than other people, even adults. I have enough invested in him love and confidence in his talents that he was not lost in this life, in professional terms — he will be good at what you choose, I know it, I'm not.

If I love man, I naturally want to make him happy — of course, in the framework, as it is in my power. I love to cook for loved ones, love to massage, love sex, love to support, to restore the lost force or to augment existing, like to leave him so much space to stay in their deeds and thoughts, as he needs not to claw him out of the cave when he go there and not try to occupy an entire life. I'd feel better if it has its own, separate from me. Otherwise I start to feel a distinct gasp from the fact that the person seeks to register all of my files and I did not order.

I like when in a relationship, each retains some autonomy, and a part of themselves invested in a common space. From my point of view this is health in a relationship. When partners do not stick to each other like leeches, and interchange of surplus. And for this purpose each of the two learns to fill themselves. Relationships work like a magnifying glass — what they do, and get strong. If came with a black hole inside it will increase.

If came happy and self-sufficient, increase it. Not even half, and mnogozhdy. Depending on the quality of the relationship, 1+1 =3 or any other number — there is a paradoxical work in mathematical logic, the more effective working relations, the greater will be this amount.

And I'm not ready to sense of obligation. Yes, I make awesome soup. And do it with joy. But if the story begins "where's my soup?", the event immediately collapses, for nefig. Even if we (hypothetically) married with lots of children. Marriage in my view is also not the reason for the obligation. When people decide that they are for each other, no matter what happens, the more you need to be very careful to ensure that the relationship is not sneaked in an assignment. I already have too many routines to automate more and that people do for each other.

Of course, there is an agreement, and without them nowhere. The two speak to each other "we decide now to stop search behavior and focus in the romantic sense only to each other, because it is more efficient to develop and it makes our system more sustainable" and discuss what would happen if the contract is not respected. Will they fix it or is it too painful to forget and have to leave. Well, when each of two accurately understands the risks, having regard, on the side. It's just honest. But it is a question of voluntary choice. I choose such agreement and such rules of interaction. And this is a responsibility voluntarily undertaken, and not purchased as part of set menu or written in small letters in the contract that nobody read.

Promises can also be going without a sense of duty. Putting the emphasis on the fact that it was my choice. I decided that this person to me in General suitable for my goals and objectives in life. Yes, love the brain turns off, but if some time to wait, not rushing immediately in all serious in a relationship, you have the option to take more or less sober decision.

It's just chemistry and nothing more, or I have this person there are prospects that I like and inspire. And if I understand that this relationship is enough for me safe and nutritious, if happiness and freedom for them becomes more, not less, I naturally want that person to strengthen. And if it's mutual, then we agree on an acceptable framework of acceptable behavior in a relationship. Agree mouth, not hoping that somehow by default, of course — all people are the default settings different things, sometimes the opposite. And if you find that this is so, there must be something to negotiate.

Responsibility is what I make myself, the product of my actions. Debt — frames, do not depend on me. Here, though, for fans who prefer that. Me any part that I did not choose, closely to claustrophobia. And love itself to regulate its own limitations.

Love in captivity do not reproduce. She accompanies freedom of choice and is a product of it. Buddhism is one of the paramitas (liberating actions) is called "joyful effort". This is when the action is due to freedom and not fear. It's like the difference between running from the enemy and just run for the fun of it. In one case produces hormones of stress, and the other endorphins. You're making the effort, but it is not annoying, and brings joy.

And I'm training myself in the joyful effort in all that you do. In work, in relationships with friends, family and partner relations. It makes my life meaningful and really worthwhile to continue it as long as possible.published

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki

 

Source: www.facebook.com/KomPol.ru/posts/778034328957654:0