Thank you for being with me. Thank You – one of millions of faces infinite space of presence. Sometimes you hide behind logic, arise, as the idea of what to do. You're a wonderful actor worthy of an Oscar.
I thought rational decisions, but this idea was just a hoax. It was you and I didn't see you. You were hiding in the voice of reason, in fact, my gut and heart. I couldn't see you, you're like a puppeteer pulling the strings. In such moments I am nothing more than your puppet. We're a great team, successfully convincing myself and others that I'm just protecting myself, set appropriate boundaries, build the future... or (and this is the best explanation) take a reasonable decision.
Years you're hiding in and I made a million decisions coming from you, without even realizing it. You protected me, set my boundaries, built a future for me and helped me to make decisions. Did you do all that and much more, and I am grateful.
Also thank you for every time you manifest more consciously. Sometimes you generously manifested in the field of my awareness, and I was able to look you in the face, to feel you, to taste, to find out directly – no backup of ideas and concepts. You could hide on, but instead you let me see you. At such moments, it's like you allowed me to see the strings that pulled.
Once in a phone conversation, I realized that the answer to someone's question. I thought that the answer is devoid of the fear of clarity. And in this moment, you will manifest. You have shown that my answer came from you. In this moment you gave me a chance to look you in the eye, and I suddenly realized how many answers in my life was the result of your presence.
One night, when I made an important decision about my partner, you suddenly appeared in my field of consciousness, and this stopped me. I thought I was just defending myself from him. I thought wisely decide on how to do business. But feeling you in that moment separating me from him, the boundaries disappeared and I suddenly discovered that to be protected from whom. I've never felt such a closeness and unity with your partner. You – not that other, as love disguised as fear.
One day I was looking for a way to fix the problem at work. I thought I'll just use your intelligence to choose between several possible options. I was stupid and unconscious. Oh, you tricked me! I felt you in my insides and just sat quietly with you. I gave you the space so you can manifest fully. I wholeheartedly loved you. And you showed me that there is nothing to fear. Then there are new options, no longer based on fear. My head was covered with a relaxation and a thousand realizations that I don't need hard to plan and cost their future. I'm already in the flow of this present moment. I have this thread! When you freed that day you gave me a new path: to allow the work to happen naturally, not straining or creaking gears of the mind.
Most of all, dear Fear, I thank you for what you gave me to see the possibility of life without you. And although I am very grateful for the long years of self-preservation, in the end, I saw that you came to show me that there is no "I" in need of protection. I appreciate that sometimes, if necessary, you go back again to point this out. Thank you for being so often manifested at the right time. You're not my enemy. You were there in the first place in order to protect me. And after you opened the door to freedom. You're my way to escape from suffering. You are the most patient friend in this way, allowed me to dissolve into a great peace and love when I was finally ready.
With love, Scott" published
The Author Of The Cattle Killaby
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