Freely stretch forth both hands, palms up. Imagine on one hand you have the word "no" and on the other — Yes.
On a palm what is the word?
It is important that you really imagined. Think about what arguments you can bring to defend the position "Yes" and the position "no"? Why sometimes should say "no"? Why good position of man who no nothing crashes?
Imagine that the arguments of the flop on hands like small bricks. Say the arguments out loud to hear myself. Now weigh the two positions on the palms, like scales. What outweighs? Now I start to change the arguments of the seats, toss the bricks with the palm of the hand, changing the meaning of the argument.
That is, if you had a reason to say "Yes" good, because you help people, the counter-argument will be: saying "no", I help yourself and your loved ones (of course, your argument can apply not only to the topic of debt, but of the whole of life in the context of consent — failure). After mentally throwing "bricks" and weighing on the palms of different arguments, do the following: put your hands together and interlace the fingers of both hands.
I warn you, if you did a good job, this would be not so easy. But when your fingers intertwine, you will feel as if two energy streaming from your hands through the body towards each other, and for a brief moment of real excitement comes a state of peace and harmony.
Watch later behind. You will see that now it will be easier to say "Yes" and "no." The second reason: because I want to be good.
From childhood we instill strong dependence on the opinions of others and make us in fact hostages of the concepts of "good" and "bad". For someone to be unbearably bad, but for the right though for a brief moment to look in the eyes of the other good he's willing to give many things, including their money.
To be "good" it is extremely important for people with low self-esteem. Giving a loan of money, they solves two of their problems — show others what they are good and myself that they have money, they can afford to lend, it means that they took place.
This category, perhaps partly pays the loaned money in just a few minutes a welcome feeling. Therefore, their debtors, it is feeling not very eager to return the money. It is always possible to say on the question of the repayment period, "You will have to wait, because you're good!" And what do you think will have to wait, without murmuring at fate!
Such a category of people it is a pity, because when they have nothing to give (and take from them not only money), they alienate those people who they, in their view, was so essential. Therefore, the only way to survive for them may be the ego boost. Breeding in-hand concepts of friendship and money. And finding real friends who do not care if you have money and if you give them a loan.The third reason: to put myself at the mercy of.
If you have not taken such a person to borrow money, you are very lucky or is this quite a coincidence. This category of people just getting off on the fact that someone is bound to them in such an important part of life, like money, and does not cease to recall that the debtor, not to God, not forgotten and continued to experience appreciation, and awe. It is a professional investor and if they don't lend at interest, then only in order to have a much larger dividends and psychological. Most of these people are essentially energy vampires who have chosen such a "tasty" area of the money, in order to have a more dependent people
Borrow them, you, even repaying the debt, will give them in the bargain many times more, than took. If you experience the pleasure of thinking that someone owes you money and therefore depend on you, think about what you really missing? Perhaps sense of self-worth, attention to you or even love? Money is a very important tool in human life, but it is highly doubtful to crack the human heart.No one is really bound and really grateful for the borrowed money.
As a rule, short phase of gratitude comes the irritation and apathy, not to say that "I want to lose a friend, lend him money". Sometimes the debtor is the most irrational and desperate things to quickly get out of the addiction, and so many negative "merges" to the lender in a space not describe by any words.
Think about whether you need this? But if you are caught in an emotional trap of the lender-the vampire as quickly as possible give him the debt and try to interrupt any interaction with him. Know that you again will remind you about the favor, even if the debt is long covered, and will not fail to use this information, if it is profitable for them.
Salvation here — only, again, the rupture of relations. And don't blame yourself, in fact you were the victim, and the only thing that can be done to the victim, is to learn a lesson and not to fall into such a trap.
I want to note that all three types of lenders is quite typical and can occur in the way of anyone who thinks it possible to borrow money. Practically you have no choice. Your lender will be one of the three. Be aware that all three types have their psychological benefits that lend you, so do not worry too much and don't thank them too much. You mutually need each other, and the money here, as usual, nothing to do with it.
Author: Marina Smolensk
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©