The sense of duty is very human...

If the stars are lit, it means someone needs. In us there is nothing superfluous. Muscle flexors kompensiruet muscles of the extensors, cut off one and the arm hangs powerless. Selfishness is complemented by altruism, pride – humility, anger with kindness, shell – empathy and hedonism – duty. Today is about the debt.

Like any pendulum, the deviation in one direction leads to a deviation in another. But if the pendulum hangs watch will die. Therefore, it is necessary, and it is the “balance”. I was once struck with the idea that balance is not statically stilled pendulum in the zero position, and movement. Tilts to the left too – will fall to the right fall, and here I go, swinging at thin wire – right-left, right-left. Will freeze – you will not be able to go. Went off and, I have to balance.





In our culture a large deviation in the direction of the debt. We were all – parents, school, country, team. This deviation from balance has led to a natural rocking in the opposite direction: hedonism.

To live in the here and now, just for myself, only in fun, and I don't owe anyone anything. Hedonism is about immediate gratification: wanted, did, felt fulfilled, tired – cast.

There are a lot of wonderful attention to your own body, needs, Hobbies, minute and second impulses. Hedonism is about fast, nice, good and now. And the debt is about “need”, for the sake of something intangible, distant, non-guaranteed, that you will not be pinned to the lapel and won't mix with tonic.

I've bought products, conducting a conference call on the phone. For the time that I'm holding a conversation, give explanations, he gave the orders and reviewing the results, I unloaded the truck, Packed products, enter a pin code on the credit card, put them back in the cart, removed the card and wallet, got to the car, found the keys, opened the trunk, folded the products, rolled the truck, sat behind the wheel and drove home, without detracting from the conversation.

While I was busy with my autopilot, the limbic system of the brain did for me everything. When we have no resources, we find a backup. A structure that allows us to survive, to cope, if direct force of will, attention and motivation is missing.

Debt is an internal structure that allows us to do “should”, when all the standard motifs: meaning, reward, benefit, will, interest, denied.

Debt is the autopilot, a power that is based on our underlying values, internal intuitive knowledge about “good” and “bad”, “right” and “wrong”.

Debt is somethingthat causes us to restrain anger and to suppress the fatigue, to abandon short-term profit for the sake of something greater. Debt is about the horizon.

Debt is about the factthat not throw the wrapper and not give a bribe because we want a different society for our children.Duty is about sacrifice, fast satisfaction for distant values. It's about not yell and do not slap, when you really want to support and accept when screams from within is quite different, debt is a sacrifice for a distant perspective, it's the denial of small pleasures for the sake of something illusory, like the right habits. Life in harmony with a sense of duty brings us to balance with deep values, but drawing us away from balance with immediate desires.

And here the child is hungry, tired and screaming. And if you give him a candy, half an hour before meals, we will solve the immediate problem of the op, but will complicate relations with the frustration and futility in the long run.

Hedonism is about the here and now, and to spit on credit. Hedonism is about the fact that if I want a cake and a dress, have a cake and dress, and to pay hold on and then reset.

Hedonism is about a manicure when you're needed at home, about to sleep when dad was too, about the well to hell with him with the regime, let's eat chips and watch movies until midnight. Hedonism is beautiful, it's about fast, immediate, sensual, a sacrifice values for pleasure, sacrifice goals for the sake of good mood.

Debt is a very human, hedonism is a very animal. And this no rating, it's more about the origins. Every day we live this conflict: to sleep or to finish, to hold back or let yourself quickly and easily or difficult, but right.

Serious, thankless, important things not to do, without debt, without giving immediate satisfaction. Joy, ease, pleasure is impossible without the ability to afford and indulge themselves. Both bring happiness, a different happiness, both bring disappointment, disappointment different. Life in hedonism brings the joy of small things and leaves the frustration wasted on trivia. Life in debt brings the joy of big wins and disappointment at the missed daily joys.

Children learn to balance life as much as balance their parents. Indulgent hedonistic parent will learn to live in the will, and not taught to cope with the deprivation and hardships for a higher purpose. Principled and hard-nosed parent will teach sacrifice and perseverance, and will not learn to afford breaths on the way.

I am a man of big goals, and holding yourself to them through fatigue, unwillingness, lack of sleep and the refusal of the minor joys. Mnany things I rather a man of duty. And I will make it up to spit in the direction of correct habits, mode of procedure in the house of restraint, dieting and other things. I chose areas where I have goals, and go to him in spite of, and chose areas where I have a pure hedonist and follow yourself. For me wildly to paint in calories, but not crazy to have goals to work for five years and follow them. This is my balance, and I'm happy in it.

Debt is a loan of the resource from the underlying values, those that are laid very early. I'm happy that a sense of duty calls me to diligence, devotion, perseverance, honesty.

 



Do not like the outcome — change their behavior

Don'T turn the soul inside out!

 

Don't know what I would've been if the set of values I had the need to be nice or to always wear neat dress. Debt is what I'll do, even if I do not want the debt – it's about my values, the ones that cost us the parent of the warm look.

Values are the battles that we choose with children.

What is more important for us to fight: for the impossibility of meanness, or for cleaning toys? When our grown up child will be without power and desire and meaning – that he would have? What we are fighting for life, defending life? What we need in his eyes? Survive? To defend yourself? To help your neighbor? Brush your teeth every day? To protect the weak? Don't give up? Behave? Not to cry? Hang clothes in the wardrobe? published

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.womanfrommars.com/thinking-mommy-notes/sense-of-duty/