Winter cozy cafe... the Smell of coffee and cinnamon promised in the evening to make each visitor a sincere company. Twinkling lights on display reminded that along with the chimes will be magic.
Pre-holiday fuss this time passed me. When I began to take stock of the outgoing year, the festive emotions on the backburner, replaced by sadness and the feeling of loneliness. Constantly running through my mind the memories of last year talking to my mom. My question: "Mom, what gift to you is the best?" she said, "Happiness in your eyes!"
The outgoing year took forever mom... But I managed in the last minutes of her life promise me that no matter what, my faith in my own happiness will never fade. And I'll be happy!
I'm over 30. His family no kids, the relationship with his father strained, or rather, they too are actually there. Although my father and mother, but unfortunately, he's not close to me. And after my mom died, the distance between us increased even more.
Probably, on a background of the romantically-minded couples in the café and the holiday hustle and bustle, I looked too sad and lonely. I was approached by a man and asked permission to sit nearby. I didn't argue. These men breathed the love of life, wisdom and even youthful, despite his age.
He looked at his cooling cappuccino, which I didn't even touch it and asked if I'm happy if I have parents, its family, children. After my brief answers and britovsek tears the man for some time silent, and looked intently into my eyes and began his story. I'll try to convey it as accurately as possible, because such a life experience for me was exemplary and very important (just changed names)...
...My name is Alexander. I want to tell you about myself and how I helped about the same "random" conversation. I see in your eyes the sadness and understand that in such a state had once been my daughter.
I am 65 years old. 18 years ago my wife did not. For friends and acquaintances, our family always looked happy, but it was only an appearance. In fact, we weren't close, we don't have much to talk about in the evenings. The wife moved away from me with the birth of his daughter Irina, and I believe that may apply only to a secondary role in the family and eventually turned into the shadow of a husband and father.
Immediately after the birth of my daughter I started to grow up a career over time, even started my own business. I'm a pretty motivated person and plans had weighted, but over time my business went into decline. However, I more and more distant from the family. My friends business was successful and they I was often asked if I bought jireh apartment, car, where I went on holiday with my family... I have these questions frankly annoyed and surprised. Over time the friends ceased even to ask, everyone understood that my debts just grew and I found myself in a situation where we had to work exclusively for loan repayment. Frequent crises led to the fact that a Bank loan was out of my pocket. I tried struggling, but the day came when I had to borrow from friends and the wife. When the daughter became an adult and started working, I managed to loan and her savings.
I spun like a squirrel in a wheel, but, to my shame, a debt I did not return on time, or not returned. Their pending money to fix the wife never saw...
After my wife died, I suddenly realized that my daughter is already adult and independent, and I'm a lonely loser. Common grief us closer together. I have forgotten how to speak with Irina, trying to get close was awkward and ended with misunderstanding on both sides.
Some time later I was returning from a trip home. On the way to me in the car sat a gray-haired old man. I was delighted with the companion, as the mood was not so good. From thinking about the work I have started to have a headache, and the house was nobody waiting for me. Word for word, and I, that not expecting, I began to a total stranger to talk about their pain. Life was flowing in front of my eyes and words helped to ease the mental suffering. I remember your parents from whom I never heard encouraging words, failure in business, failed marriage, the gap between me and Irina...
The old man listened attentively and threw in your own words: "Now your daughter is your guide to success and happiness. Remember, your daughter is not your opponent, she is your continuation. Restore the balance of your relationship, and you will be successful and happy."
I understood nothing of what he heard and asked the man to explain more. He said that many men are afraid of talk with women are afraid to give their gifts to support financially. Extremely harmful to men is to borrow money from the women. This also applies to daughters. Many men have not learned generosity, many people even have a fear that women are with them only for money, and only daughter and expected to promote dad.
But the experience of all successful and healthy men shows that we should drop these fears and life can change dramatically for the better. The man who wants to be successful and healthy, you should learn the formula: the more you invest in a woman, the more you will earn, the better your health.
The essence of this formula is simple. Men when they give women raises the hormone testosterone. Even the memory of the gift, monetary support for women after some time also increases testosterone levels! No wonder the last is called the hormone which made a man a man. - Developed body, confidence in yourself and your actions, the sharpness, the speed of thought — all due to this hormone. Therefore, the increase in testosterone is beneficial for success, men's health and even potency.
Man after this explanation, asked me a questions that I was ashamed to even answer to myself:
1. If you're happy? Whether your daughter Irene own family, housing, successful job, etc.?
2. Assess your progress at work (in business). Do you have to borrow from a Bank, borrow from friends?
3. Have you ever had to borrow from his wife and his daughter?
4. When you sincerely tell Irene that I love her?
5. If you give daughters gifts for no reason? Birthday, March 8, the day of the angel, St. Nicholas day?
6. Give you daughter the money?
I said Aloud, only mentally... I couldn't. But after I saw the root of many problems in my life.
From the words of the old man, I realized that although my wife and I can't restore the balance of the relationship, there remains one very important woman in my life is my daughter Irina. It was very difficult, but I took the advice of the old man: "Remember, the woman inspires, and fills the man. Return all the debts of her daughter, interact with her more sincerely interested in her life, experiences, problems, support morally and financially, derivate. Make it a rule: 10% of their monthly income to give his daughter (not for nothing did the Church give a tithe!). Don't expect that the daughter will return in the same form."
It hurts to remember, but after this meeting I had the first time to make the acquaintance with her daughter. Alas, it happened in her adulthood. I'm used to that daughter and wife are camping in our family that I am opposed to them. It was hard for me to see again in his daughter the little and defenseless girl. I wept bitterly when I realized how much time I missed. I didn't even notice when the girl turned into a girl, into a woman... I didn't know about her first love, trials, suffering. I knew virtually nothing about her interests, Hobbies. I had no idea about the inner world of their child...
Both of us found it difficult to restore the relationship "father-daughter". I was honest with her, took the advice about getting debt, applied the rule of 10% of income. Eventually, I remarried, and my daughter is married and happily married. She became a mother and in my example very well learned the father's role in her daughter's life. And I'm proud and confident answer to everyone who asks how I manage even in old age to look happy and healthy: "My biggest success in life is my daughter! My biggest achievement is the revival of relations with the daughter!"
Tell your dad about our conversation. Sincerely show him how important he is to you and roads, wish him happiness in his soul. Forgive me father and she ask forgiveness, you know that "tango is a pair dance". And be happy!...
...The same evening I went to dad's. Caught him in the house, he sat and looked into the void. I told dad about what he heard. Long after we spoke, listening to each other really, probably for the first time since my birth, asked for forgiveness.
After the story I had the feeling that right now – on the eve of the new year – our dad and the family a miracle happened... posted
Author: Elena Vainilovich
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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