I think it's bad too serious about life. To think, to wonder: “call-call”, “write-write”, “to say-to say” that's bad. Harmful because it takes away the time of Your life. Bad, because these thoughts lead You away from really important things: from visiting relations, from Your feelings from Your children, from Your business. This construction of the virtual world in your head, mind games, not real life.
Building a strategy: “I'll say this – he will answer that, and then I'll tell him that is – and let him make decisions” almost certainly won't get the result I expect. First, we exaggerate the knowledge of the other person and knowledge of his reactions. The whole strategy can go wrong after the first words. Secondly, we even don't know sometimes what to expect. What can we say about the other person, which is probably still in a state of stress is? Thirdly, excessive forethought often causes rejection. The other person is unconscious reads that something from him and put forward reasonable protection, not to be used. It's worthwhile to spend on strategy?
The sincerity and emotion always give the best effect. Always. Think about it: when you encounter someone else's pain face-to-face, your first unconscious reaction is to help, if you – a normal person with a developed sense of empathy and compassion, and not a fierce travmatik. If Your openness and honesty gave the opposite effect – the person is closed, or worse, closed with aggression, that's fine too – the information You have provided about this man.
I think it is easier to relate to life. I want to know something, find out. I want to ask, ask. I want to speak, tell. Even if nakosyachili, God bless him. This man nakosyachili, the other will perceive adequately and safely. This will look like a sack with others – naive and cute girl. In life is never forever, something of course, but living. There will always be something else. After these words will be next, after these deeds, then this person is someone else, if You yourself allow them to.
But there are three peculiarities in the manifestation of their emotions, which I would have paid attention.
The first is to talk about your feelings and what You would like (“I'm bad”, “uncomfortable”, “I feel lonely”, “I would be pleased if you”, “do I care if you”, etc.), not about how the other person had to do and who he is after what did not.
Second – do not turn the expression of their feelings and experiences in the brain stem. One theme is stated once. And third, very subjective, but very important for you to focus on the finish.
Every word and action is what I call a finish. If everything is done for You correctly, inside there is a pleasant, warm feeling that all is well. Another happy, You are satisfied everything is fine. If something didn't have, the inside appears this nasty feeling that nothing, it would be better to abstain. Although all is not in vain, even nasty feelings. And not the words – those, too, forgive yourself. So. in that moment, with that person, as You were, could not be otherwise. It was the best alignment.
Addiction is difficult to... If You are in an emotional depends on the person, it is likely that Your call or visit “the call of the heart”, from boredom, then do not leave a very good impression and objectively exacerbate the situation. But if You are relaxed and calm, not attached to the result, even SMS in the middle of the night wanting to discuss something important to You, it will be for You and for the other look is quite a valid and interesting.
In General, listen, feel and respect the feelings of the other. And keep it simple. In the end, even when screwing up, if not in this life? published
Author: Lilia Ahremchik
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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