When a girl worries too much about the relationship with the guy (and it often is inherent to the girls), it scares the guy. He likes me? But seriously it all? What if I don't ponravilos his parents? Maybe he has fallen out of love with me? And so on and so forth. And behind all this you forget to enjoy your relationship.
I was such. Each of our meetings was for me a pleasure, and an attempt to understand how he feels, and soothe thus. But in fact it is not gave me confidence and clarity, and were forced to be even more insecure.
In fact, only when you cease to worry, you will be free and fully give myself to the relationship without building its tactics, no games, no manipulation. You should not be the need to control anything. You're just together and it's incredibly cool.
But how to achieve this? How to stop worrying about to drive yourself crazy — and most often wrongly?1. Understand that it may not lead to anything.
Your emotions are fruitless. Rather, the result will be, but most likely disastrous — relationship problems, big impact on your self-esteem. When you worry, you're unwittingly setting yourself up for a certain outcome. You put all your energy to it. And if suddenly something goes not so, it is very confusing for you.2. Understand what is a relationship.
It's not rating you, it's not something that brings happiness and increases self-esteem. Not that relationships can't do that, they're just not designed for this. This is not an item of the list that you must follow to be a productive member of society. It's not a status on the social network. It is not the goal.
Relationship is a shared experience with another person experience-to put myself and to be able to love. No experience doesn't change the fact that you match each other or not. Or you are a couple or not. And Dating is just a way to find out.
Just because you start a relationship and show yourself best, and then occurs one of two things: you're doing it, or not. And if not, then that's fine — then you're just not right for each other. This does not mean that you have something wrong, you're just not a couple. Sometimes you understand, sometimes. When you realize this truth, you will not have to worry.3. Set certain deadlines.
Don't panic and don't worry ahead of time.
For example, you start Dating a guy, you are all wonderful, and then suddenly he hasn't written or called a day or two, and you immediately begin to panic. What did I do wrong? What did I say? Why do guys I like always leave me behind? And you're sure he's not coming back.
While the guy may just be swamped, and he just didn't have time for anything. In his mind he was all fine in the relationship with you, and he is looking forward to when you finish your project to see. But when you finally meet, even though you will feel relieved that he "returned", you will be already another. You can be tense, and if not, the beautiful dynamics of your relationship have been broken and this can prevent you continue to enjoy the dates.
So just set yourself deadlines — frame when we can start to worry. Give yourself the attitude of "I'm not going to worry about it until that day." And try to free the mind from obsessive thoughts. This will help to control your thoughts. And usually, any problem that you wanted to survive, decided to your deadline!4. Be here and now.
The main problem is that during your meetings you are not fully there, you're like in the clouds of his thoughts, trying to understand yourself and in him. You think about your future, worried whether it will be with you. Enough already! Come back to earth, to him. Be here and now. You must enjoy meeting with him, to strengthen your relationship. Don't look for signs, if he's interested. If he's around you, then Yes, that's all. The more you think about your relationship and not doing something for them, the less chance that your dreams will come true.5. Stop thinking what it means.
Many women perceive the relationship as an indicator of their self-esteem. It is true that our society perceives women: Have a boyfriend? — The good fellow, has taken place. No boyfriend? — I pity you. And if the guy leaves, then a woman isn't worth it, she's not good enough, etc.
It is hard to change this program in the minds of people, but you need to try. Remember that only you determine your self-esteem. She is not defined by a man and the presence or absence of a relationship. Believe in yourself and that you can handle it that would not come out of your relationship.6. Stop waiting.
Don't expect it will change, that things will be different. Accept everything as it is and enjoy it. When you wait, you focus on the bad, the flaws.
Main conclusion: enjoy what is, and not think about what is not and what could be.
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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