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6 signs of unhealthy relationships that people consider normal
Relationship is a delicate matter. And we believe some signs are natural, although they are fraught with danger. Business Insider has compiled a list of the six most dangerous habits to which we are lenient.
When it comes to relationships, we often find ourselves unprepared to them. In many ways, the problem is that we normally refer to some of the habits that erode mutual affection.
Here are six signs of an unhealthy relationship. They are familiar, but are fraught with danger.
1. The game "Who's more fucked up"What it is. Partners to remember each other's past mistakes and lead a virtual account points. If the pair cannot move on to the next stage, the relationship turns into an endless game of "Who's more fucked up". Such relationships become a real meal.
Why this is bad. Scoring and permanent recall of the mistakes of the past leads to dissatisfaction and attempts to make the partner look more guilty, instead of solving the problem.
What to do. Stop to remember the past mistakes of your partner. Forget about scoring. It does not matter the failure of a partner three years ago. Each person is the sum of past actions, so take it for what it is.
2. Hints and passive aggression
What it is. Instead of speaking openly about their desires and problems, partner seems to be pushing you to the right decision and secretly takes revenge on you.
Why this is bad. It shows that you are closed when communication with a partner. There is no excuse for passive-aggressive behavior that causes insecurity and a false sense of security.
What to do. Talk openly about their problems and desires. And you will see that the partner will support you.
3. Emotional blackmail
What it is. One of the partners, complaining of the conduct of another, threatening to break off relations. Instead of saying "it seems to Me that you are indifferent to me", they say "I can't date a man who doesn't shows me any sense".
Why this is bad. This is emotional blackmail and it creates a ton of unnecessary problems. Every little quarrel is inflated to the size of an elephant. Partners need to feel that they can Express their dissatisfaction without prejudice to the relations as such. Otherwise, people repress their feelings, which leads to distrust and manipulation.
What to do. To worry about relationship problems well. This means that you are a normal person. But it is important to understand that attachment to the person and love is two different things. Partners who can discuss issues without intimidation and accusations, strengthen relationships.
4. Blaming the partner's own experiences
What it is. Let's say you had a lousy day. The only thing you want, is to quickly return home. In such moments it is important not to vent your bad mood on your partner. It's not his fault that everything is so bad.
Why this is bad. Blaming the partner's own negative emotions is a subtle form of selfishness, and a classic example of the inability to separate the personal from the General. When you blame the partner's own bad feelings, you create a precedent: now you and your partner will be associations between low mood and action of the second half, although they are not connected. The life of one of the partners begins to revolve around the mood of the other.
What to do with it. Take responsibility for your emotions. Remember: when people feel guilty, it gives them an incentive to hide their feelings and to manipulate each other.
5. Unhealthy jealousy
What it is. Are you annoyed that the partner communicates a lot with another person. You become suspicious and try to control the circle of communication partner to check his phone, email, social networks.
Why this is bad. Some believe that lack of jealousy is a sign of indifference. But really the jealous type creates a huge problem. He humiliates partner destroys trust.
What to do. Trust the partner. Corny, but no other way. A little bit jealous naturally. But do not go too far. Do not humiliate the partner. You have to cope with bouts of jealousy.
6. Shopping and gifts as problem solving
What it is. After a major argument, many couples do not understand the problems, and try to forget about them with shopping or expensive gifts.
Why this is bad. This not only pushes the problems in the relationship on the back burner, but also brings commercialism. What if the guy after each infraction will led the girl to a restaurant? This will give her an incentive to constantly make partner is to blame. In the end, irresponsible attitude, constantly offended the girl and the guy feeling ATM.
What to do. Solve problems in relationships. Trust was undermined? Let's talk about it. Someone feels unappreciated? Listen to partner, take action. Naladte contact. Gifts can't rebuild trust and healthy atmosphere. Do it not because it's bad, but because it's all good. Do not cover up their own problems.published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: lifehacker.ru/2015/11/06/6-toxic-relationship-habits/
When it comes to relationships, we often find ourselves unprepared to them. In many ways, the problem is that we normally refer to some of the habits that erode mutual affection.
Here are six signs of an unhealthy relationship. They are familiar, but are fraught with danger.
1. The game "Who's more fucked up"What it is. Partners to remember each other's past mistakes and lead a virtual account points. If the pair cannot move on to the next stage, the relationship turns into an endless game of "Who's more fucked up". Such relationships become a real meal.
Why this is bad. Scoring and permanent recall of the mistakes of the past leads to dissatisfaction and attempts to make the partner look more guilty, instead of solving the problem.
What to do. Stop to remember the past mistakes of your partner. Forget about scoring. It does not matter the failure of a partner three years ago. Each person is the sum of past actions, so take it for what it is.
2. Hints and passive aggression
What it is. Instead of speaking openly about their desires and problems, partner seems to be pushing you to the right decision and secretly takes revenge on you.
Why this is bad. It shows that you are closed when communication with a partner. There is no excuse for passive-aggressive behavior that causes insecurity and a false sense of security.
What to do. Talk openly about their problems and desires. And you will see that the partner will support you.
3. Emotional blackmail
What it is. One of the partners, complaining of the conduct of another, threatening to break off relations. Instead of saying "it seems to Me that you are indifferent to me", they say "I can't date a man who doesn't shows me any sense".
Why this is bad. This is emotional blackmail and it creates a ton of unnecessary problems. Every little quarrel is inflated to the size of an elephant. Partners need to feel that they can Express their dissatisfaction without prejudice to the relations as such. Otherwise, people repress their feelings, which leads to distrust and manipulation.
What to do. To worry about relationship problems well. This means that you are a normal person. But it is important to understand that attachment to the person and love is two different things. Partners who can discuss issues without intimidation and accusations, strengthen relationships.
4. Blaming the partner's own experiences
What it is. Let's say you had a lousy day. The only thing you want, is to quickly return home. In such moments it is important not to vent your bad mood on your partner. It's not his fault that everything is so bad.
Why this is bad. Blaming the partner's own negative emotions is a subtle form of selfishness, and a classic example of the inability to separate the personal from the General. When you blame the partner's own bad feelings, you create a precedent: now you and your partner will be associations between low mood and action of the second half, although they are not connected. The life of one of the partners begins to revolve around the mood of the other.
What to do with it. Take responsibility for your emotions. Remember: when people feel guilty, it gives them an incentive to hide their feelings and to manipulate each other.
5. Unhealthy jealousy
What it is. Are you annoyed that the partner communicates a lot with another person. You become suspicious and try to control the circle of communication partner to check his phone, email, social networks.
Why this is bad. Some believe that lack of jealousy is a sign of indifference. But really the jealous type creates a huge problem. He humiliates partner destroys trust.
What to do. Trust the partner. Corny, but no other way. A little bit jealous naturally. But do not go too far. Do not humiliate the partner. You have to cope with bouts of jealousy.
6. Shopping and gifts as problem solving
What it is. After a major argument, many couples do not understand the problems, and try to forget about them with shopping or expensive gifts.
Why this is bad. This not only pushes the problems in the relationship on the back burner, but also brings commercialism. What if the guy after each infraction will led the girl to a restaurant? This will give her an incentive to constantly make partner is to blame. In the end, irresponsible attitude, constantly offended the girl and the guy feeling ATM.
What to do. Solve problems in relationships. Trust was undermined? Let's talk about it. Someone feels unappreciated? Listen to partner, take action. Naladte contact. Gifts can't rebuild trust and healthy atmosphere. Do it not because it's bad, but because it's all good. Do not cover up their own problems.published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: lifehacker.ru/2015/11/06/6-toxic-relationship-habits/
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