Women's independence

Many for independence take frustrirovannosti, the cause of which is often a strong correlation. How to distinguish autonomy from frustration?

In this post I will try to outline the main types of female love frustration. Below you are able to choose whether you should revive your love life, if you have it... so-so and somewhat similar to the description below.

The main types of love, women's frustration three.

1. Lady with a book

2. The lady with the dog

3. Woman with cats


1. Lady with a book

It's usually quite a young woman. But there are older.

Her problem is that the image of the imaginary itself is not the same as real. Please note, it is sometimes said that the book ladies come up with the ideals of the men and can't find such in my life. That's not it. She comes up with, but life does not know what to do with myself.

Who she really imagines himself there: the Queen of the elves, the Roman matron, the first beauty in the court of Louis, whatever. Most importantly, that your real image it seems too boring to deal with and present it to the world. She's not as beautiful as she would have liked, and in General look different, he didn't live there at the wrong time and wrong. She doesn't have to live in their own skin and that is its problem.

When the girlfriend (or mother) tell her that it would be good to find a guy, she sighs or frowns. Reluctant to her to find a guy for yourself who she is. And even when the guy himself is her reluctance to communicate. She is perfectly uninteresting and offer the boys such wants. Any story that will turn out this way, it seems deliberately dull, lame, lame. She is pleasant to live in the bodies of the heroines of the book, sometimes in the bodies of the heroines series or computer games. All types of "ladies with a book", just more modern.

It happens that the woman was not like this before, even liked myself, but then somehow completely lost myself.

How to work on this frustration?

It's a PR problem with self-esteem. Look for your image need. To seek, to sculpt, to accept what is, build new or nurture from scratch. You need to get acquainted with you, you can come up with yourself, but it is important finally to his existence such a shape as I-physical (1 resource) – not a soul in a random box body, and the synthesis of physical and psychological characteristics: an image with its unique style, graceful and characteristic behavior.

From the complete frustration of image and love suffers and health, and friendship, and work. That is, in the absence of self-love (not as to the soul, I repeat, these ladies can love as a spiritual or intellectual one, and as physical phenomena are without interest, they have at this place is a hole) lies a big ambush.

All obayashki and charismatics in love with his own image. They are not egocentric, it's something completely different, on the contrary, they are tuned to the emotions of people in the party and know how these emotions to manage. But your own image is their favorite character that they love to play, they create stories to life with himself in the lead role, like shoot a series about their adventures and drama.

And women described the frustration of making a movie where they don't belong to one role at all, they are the camera operators. So not because your life is a movie also about you, although not only.

2. The lady with the dog

Chekhov this character was married and have a lover, however, the essence of this frustration is that the woman is waiting for someone who will bring into her life the love and the holiday. But this is not a fast or disappoint her. So she settled for a dog and walk with it in crowded places. You never know?

The dog is a symbol of the devotion and chivalrous attitude, which a woman expects from men. Dogs are big and strong, ready to cut the throat of his mistress. Dogs are obedient, happy chasing sticks (or game) and follow orders. Dogs are Mimino, but still true. It is a symbol of the devoted servant. Exactly the woman represents the man.

But in reality (in reality, this woman) are all scum, of course. Or trying to chop off or make a quick escape poimena. And yet they are apostate, and that to accept that absolutely nothing is impossible. The idea that it can exchange to another, and gives it the lady with the dog in such pain, she did not want any relationship. It is better with a dog will walk.

The second type of frustration unlike the first looks like the frustration, it seems that the woman is ready to enter into a relationship, he wants, that's just really unlucky. Well, no luck, not come across those all the time not the same and not the same. But this is also a frustration, because not want to come across quite by chance. Someone – the and you – not those, right?

How to get out?

This frustration – border crossing bug. The problem with the locus of control. Infantilism. (Pumping work resources and economy helps)

A woman looking for a mate, so she assumed the role of guardian and protective figure. These women can't understand why the man if the woman earns, she is able to entertain themselves. They believe that second person is needed in order to take on your problem, if you solve problems for itself, don't need one.

Alas. Found "daddy" is sure to be a jerk or a tyrant because you are a girl, and the formula of such a relationship unhealthy. You can't be a naughty baby, and babies 30-40-50 years do not exist.

Look for the knight who will forget about their interests and will serve you all the more foolish. Your frustrations from what your goals are unrealistic. Who and why do you need to serve? Worry every time the bitter disappointment that someone didn't want to throw my fate at your feet, crocodile tears. You have predatory motives in the absence of predatory talents. Why are you so frustrated.

You need to look for a partner with whom you will be together:

1)to relax, chat and have fun

2)to have sex

3)build a life, perhaps to raise children

4)to develop as a personality

5)support each other in adversity.

That's why people create pair. And not to one made by the provider and protector of the other. Everyone needs to feed and protect himself and be ready, if anything, to support the other. That is, everyone should strive to be independent and strong, not to ship anyone to play on it could rely on, if that.


3. Woman with cats

Yes, this is the woman with 40 cats because she is very strong and independent.

Hate her neighbors look askance at her colleagues, because her clothing is of wool and has a smell of cat urine. Everyone thinks it's her whim, but in fact, 40 cats is addiction. Addiction, which usually occurs due to lock of love online.

Addict all the time increase the dose, you know. And the woman who started the first two cats, then a cat, and then couldn't stop. The buzz from hairy sweethearts the more sweethearts, and all the difficulties associated with caring for them (including the hatred of neighbors) a woman covers the idea that she's a Saint. She rescues animals, protecting them from evil people.

If the lady with the dog was looking defender, the woman with the cats — the defender itself.

This kind of frustration doesn't always look exactly as the help cats. It can find yourself unfortunate, sometimes even bump into activism and to save some people from the yoke of others. It is important that it is in a state of merging with someone and complete dedication. She wants to be needed, ideally, is vital.

If the lady with the dog looking for someone who will protect and feed her, the cat lady looking for someone that will feed from the hands of she who without it may die. From her affection. Women often cats turn out of ladies with dogs, who realized that no one wants to feed them. They first offended, and then decided to become breadwinners themselves, and not understanding anything about the division boundaries.

Why is it love frustration? See the lady with the dog all the time trying to someone to stick, but was disappointed because no one wanted to be her loving dad (even mom actually). A woman with cats is also disappointed in love, because the partner will never give her of the merger, which it should not be so dependent on her, as stray animals or other wards. She doesn't want to "drain their resources" as they usually say, arrogant parasite, but agree to merge for those who truly need them. And that can be relationships without draining their resources, they do not know. So they choose cats or someone like that, whom to merge not sorry who are helpless and will never betray.

How to get out?

This is the same border bug, just on the other side. The problem with the locus of control. Hypercontrol.

If the lady with the dog is not a lack of autonomy and awareness that only a strong and independent person can build a beautiful relationship, to truly love and be loved, a woman with cats is not enough respect for other's personal boundaries. (And it's the addiction to resource altruism helps pumping of learning, because learning new knowledge, a better person perceives their individual borders)

Man you can't really assign as cats, you can't multiply his power by taking the new kittens with garbage, but love and had nothing to do with this. To love a person without respecting his personal boundaries is to eat it. Or feed yourself to that one and the same. Do not need a man to eat or to feed themselves. It is necessary to build a beautiful subject relations.

Women with cats "strong and independent" only in quotation marks. They can be financially independent, but emotionally dependent. They constantly need to feel his control, his power over those whom they love or think you love. In order to learn respect to other people's boundaries requires humility ("who am I to control him?") and respect for ourselves ("it's not my business, better get your").

You may notice in yourself the frustration (and stop) when you start to think that if you can't have it on full power and control, it is better to stay away from him. This is incorrect. You need to learn proximity without full control, trusting and respecting, and for this to work on their locus and boundaries.


Do for your love life, you can decide for yourself, you can live without it. People can be quite happy with 4-5 of the connected resources, or even 2-3 pumped. But keep in mind, if love online is completely blocked, suffers from image, sex, family, creativity, and often health, TRANS. That is to lock any resource, in principle, desirable, in order to avoid problems with others. Be happy, dear woman. published

Author: Marina Komissarova

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: evo-lutio.livejournal.com/260168.html


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