Specialization — a lot of insects!

Specialization — a lot of insects. © R. A. Heinlein

Say, if you can't formulate a vague idea, just start writing something. I'll try.

I want to talk about fragmentation and not-meeting. When the couple formally living with each other and with their children, in practice, don't know what each other do. People are United by joint activities and similar experiences. If the experience is radically different, not in contact, to understand each other ten times harder.

I'm talking, in particular, and about the division of labor in the family, when one person is engaged in paid work outside the home, and other household work and children. And, no matter who is doing what. If the daily hours of activity one is to streamline domestic chaos, and the other in laboratory studies, I suspect that... that is the question.





Often the woman complains to her friends that her husband does not share her work in childcare. And even when the mother cannot regain their right time, free from kids, dad often just passively waiting for it to end.

Not trying to communicate with the child, not trying to do something meaningful, like just serving a sentence. A couple of hours to wait — and with a sense of accomplishment to return to their “real” life.

Hence all these stories about how dad fell asleep and the child came to the mother, if she was careless in my spare time to stay home.

Or that the kids all day and ate bread and bananas left on the table, because mom is gone, leaving instructions, and dad had not thought to offer children food.

Or how dad back from a walk in twenty minutes (and the fees on the street took forty), because “the children are bored and they ask to go home.” To entertain? Play? Yah, I'm bored.

Of course. Of course, it is terribly boring to be around people with whom there is no relationship. And the relationship — see the beginning of the text — is the result of joint activities. Conscious activities. When people do something that is for both of them meaning. And the stories about the fact that men, not interested in silly kids, I am personally surprised. Well, just because I know how they like the stupidest tactile communication with women.

It is not that children are intelligent enough, and that communication with them requires emotional attachment. And not only spouting their own emotions, but also a response to the emotions of the child. The energy exchange. But many men, accustomed all their life to emotional service seem a burden.

Not because men are somehow biologically made that way. They're just little practiced. But little practiced because the society they are absolutely not waiting.

Where a woman will be condemned as an insensitive bitch, about a man say, “He's a business man does not waste words in vain.” So they spetsializiruyutsya in business. That you can touch. And respect, accordingly, that they make themselves. And the fact that they themselves do not — do not respect.

Well the truth is, some garbage — to share the joy or sadness of a child, which there he sad and happy, nonsense one, the real problems have not seen. And that there wife is doing all day, well nothing visible, no change. Whether it I finished the project, money, fool not lying, engaged in business.

It is obvious that this situation is unhealthy and require changes. Because such a rigid specialization and women, and men will become life experience, remain underdeveloped some aspects of personality.

About men, I think, is clear — they are in such conditions lose their ability to mutual sincere affection with children. And women who are not getting the economic recognition of their activities (wages for labor), lose confidence, and sometimes self-esteem. And what to do about this — I don't know. And you? published

Author: Victoria Swan

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: mamochek.net/spetsializatsiya-udel-nasekomih/

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