After two years of research and more than 400 interview with middle-aged people, it turned out the most complete view of how to live well in adulthood. Share the best recommendations.1. Aim for long-term goals, and not chasing short-term pleasures
Most likely, you will find both. Aristotle believed that the basis of all human motives is the desire to be happy. And happiness is not only in momentary pleasures like a delicious meal or a beautiful day at the beach. Happiness is primarily the pursuit of important goals
: for example, to raise children or run a marathon. Strive for your dreams, and you will be happier.
2. Choose what is most importantShort-term goals have a devastating effect on your life.
For example, focus on activities that are immediately rewarding (say, at work), and then lay on difficult, but more meaningful (e.g. family and children).
Many people put on the first place work, and not family, because the results of their work can be seen and felt immediately. Working all night and successfully close the deal, and then you raise and thank you for the work done.
In family cases this does not happen. But in fact it was close and native people, the deepest source of happiness.
Investing energy, time and energy in relationships with family, you will be able to achieve heights in other spheres of life.3. Avoid boredom, not fear
Most people become professionals in their field for 40 years, and then there is a choice: to play it safe or risk it. And, as is often the case, the avoidance of risk in the work is the main cause of stagnation and dissatisfaction with life.
Remember that you have all the cards in their hands — after all there is a huge difference between one year of experience and twenty years. This does not mean you have to blindly follow his fantasies. Instead, think about how you can carry out their work to reflect their skills, personal characteristics and talents.
4. At every stage of your life you must be a rookie
Try new things. Even if you fail in your endeavors, it will make you only stronger. Ride a bike, get yourself an unusual hobby. In your life there should always be something new and challenging.
If you will find people and activities you care about, you will live an extraordinary life.5. Add punctuation to your life
The beginning of adult life involves many stages: graduation, early career, wedding, first child. The average age can be compared to a book without structure: no sentences, chapters, paragraphs, punctuation. Remember that the goal in life make us think.A small victory over myself I would love to get out of bed every morning. Set your goals and achieve them.6. Some failures — what you need
It seems that all the bad things that can happen, is concentrated in the middle of life: you can lose a spouse, parents, job, my health is fine. But people with a quiet life — in the absence of blows of fate — more likely to feel unhappy and easier to get depressed than those who had experienced some negative events in their lives. Some failures will help you to look at yourself and your life from a new angle, and how to restore their vitality.It is important to your environment.
The people who allow others to help them, usually recovering faster than independent. It is also important to rely on themselves and use their strengths. They will help you to go through all the difficulties and learn to believe in yourself.7. The biggest threats to a long marriage is boredom and lack of attentionThe brain loves novelty.
Therefore, the surest way to revive a marriage that is long on wheels, is a new experience. Take a hike, explore the mountains and forests. You may find that there is no more boring lessons, but worth a try: gather your belongings, grab the kids and friends and go in search of a new. Out of the usual and cozy comfort zone, even if at the time will make your life brighter, and relationship stronger.
See also: 2m technique — how to quickly parse a list of urgent things10 things to think about before quitting a job
8. Happiness is love. And the point
George Vaillant (George Vaillant), a psychiatrist and scientist who conducted the study for several decades (it continues today): why do some people succeed in life and others not? It turned out that the secret to a successful and happy life is not in biology. It's not genes, not a high position in society and not education. It's not IQ, and not education. The secret of prosperity is a warm relationship.
In conclusion, the main idea about happiness: a second chance is always the main thing — to keep his eyes wide open
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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