I'm family, but you don't get lost Bashny.Net

We will talk about the stories in which he and she were friends, flirted, was "in an open relationship", nothing concrete to each other is not promised (sometimes imagined that someday this relationship might develop into something more "serious"), went to movies, talked, laughed, cooked a pizza from time to time pauses in communication, then one of them met his important people and decided to create a family with him — it happens.

And then quite often the game starts to "swing", when it seems to be her husband's "new" your love, but with the "old" goodbye don't want, or the wife was cool, but "you're my special person, don't want to let you go, don't go." Why this happens?

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The tendency of people to "relationship without commitment" is usually associated with the fear of true intimacy that you can try to hide under any mask, but the fact remains. Fear of true intimacy first and foremost with oneself and then with another person, so it is much easier to have multiple not very "serious" relationships that always have a way of retreat — such as a good man, understand, but not quite "my".

Well, there's a lot of selfishness, of course. Judge for yourself: there's three of you, one chose to go in a "serious" relationship, second from last, such a nice "Supplement" to their self-esteem, to let go nobody wants, to be friends. Why be friends but this friendship better? The third, which was for "a Board" and will never be able to realize his already ghostly dream? Or can you? Then why do first? Or maybe the first should be blissed out, that in your Union there is still someone who "got out", but occasionally tries to break his current wife?

Men, too full of lovers to marry, but to hold "friends" someone from a nice ex-lovers, to call them in moments of sadness and sorrow, to a text from grieving and are not able to end forget it — incredible and the best man. You can still sometimes meet and share your innermost feelings in the world is not easy to live, work, problems, home, children and domestics, and you for me, honey, like a ray of light in the darkness, though not married to you.

But you don't go, keep me loving, keep writing, cheer, supports, for one loving woman is good, but when a lot of them, you feel like a king. How it feels to be the one that is left deselected, and that feels about it all selected, not too significant in the scale of their own male importance. A weak man, as they say, looking for somewhere better, warmer and more love, and if there's not enough power to get it all in one place, trying to get a few.

OK, about the men and women who want to have as much as possible everywhere, of course, but what makes to stay in such a relationship, those very third? Yes, you had something in the past, yeah, thought maybe to move to a new level, Yes, friends, it was wonderful to come to each other overnight, too, fooling around and having fun was only possible with him/her, but eventually (s) he chose(-a) not you and the other person.

What kind of masochism is to stay close and fly to a meeting on the first call? It's one thing if the relationship was without love and physical intimacy, like each other kind of like, but it did not happen, then all married and with families now friends, well, OK. But quite another if you already had, and then showed up in your strange Alliance, new employees, which are chosen in the wife or husband, not you.All, it is necessary to forget, then, and try to move on.

First is to dream that maybe they'll break up and will have a chance to build a strong Union, maybe you'll just quietly be friends, continue to meet behind the back of husband/wife (and not afraid that the story of the third is superfluous to continue then behind you, if you won?) or become a friend of the family (you much be glad to be friends with your ex/your ex-husband or wife?), here the spouse(-and) will be delighted!

I think friendships with exes or do not understand what is appropriate in the presence overall children make friends as parents and parenthood, and in other cases is more honest to look at the motives of such a friendship, plus try to take into account the views of all three sides.

Well, benefits need to look to a rejected person in his jam on this story. In fact, the relationship ended, a family with anyone other than you — a clear sign that there is a "catch" nothing, don't you think?

The desire to continue, ideas about possible variants of development of events is not only fancy, but also an escape from responsibility for their own lives. You need to understand — why choose elusive partners, why can not build a deep and quality relationship why choose those who do not choose me is difficult, much easier to fall in love deep in his fantasies about a particular object from the past, continuing to give his non-existent qualities, justifying his behavior and his position in this story. Do not be so with your life.published  

 

Citatie also: Personal space and marriage

Too good to leave, too bad to stay

 

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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