Paul Zygmantovich: People do not know how to take care of loved ones Bashny.Net

I wanted to write this note bitingly — say, women do not know how to take care of the men. Even the title came up as it should — "Women don't know what is care".

Then sorry others and five times reduced the intensity of the exposure. That's me all women are abused? Scold me all at once, one, so to speak, the % increases. It would be a shame to let all.

I think you care about the partner? Nothing of the sort. The vast majority of people care not able in principle. And I say this not in a sudden attack of misanthropy or witticism. I'm just stating the reality — people do not know how to take care of their loved ones. No men can't, nor women.





But to take care of — can do very well.

Just people confuse care and attention, replace the first second. People think that they care, whereas in fact the real worries there. It does not even smell?

Don't believe? Let us then look at the Small academic dictionary of the Russian language. There we will see that the concern is "attention to needs, needs somebody."

And the care is called "care of the personal and property rights of incapacitated people (minors, the mentally ill, etc.) and supervision which are imposed by the state on SMB and under the control of state power." About the power to fold. Key care not for her, and the word "disabled."

As you can see, concern and care are very different. Watch over those who can't take care of himself, and, therefore, guardian is entitled to make decisions FOR the ward.

Concern is another matter. Concern is attention to the needs, attention to the individual and to emphasize the special attention to his personal territory and borders.

The difference between custody and care is tremendous.

Let's take a slightly anecdotal example. The woman went to the store and passed by Department men's socks, bought five pairs of husband. That's the care or custody?

In the narrated version — custody. The woman's husband decided that he needed new socks, and he bought them. It turns out that the husband is incapacitated, cannot decide for themselves or to buy. Apparently, very bad disease.

But like you would care?

The woman went to the store and passed by Department men's socks, called my husband and asked if he needed socks. And entered according to his answer (maybe bought, maybe not; it all depends on what my husband say).

That is the concern.

Exactly the same is true for men. An example I can come up with themselves.

The scheme is simple — you see your spouse need something (or you think you see it). You do not rush immediately to do it, and ask your spouse. Do if spouse don't mind.





This is — adult relationship.

Why the care is bad — I think it is clear. Marriage, as I have repeatedly said, is a Union of two adults and equal people, and valuable for that. Adulthood and equality.

However (and notice I'm not the only) equality in relationships is found not so often. In practice, much wider than the common relationship on the principle of "Parent-Child". That is, someone in charge, and someone — as if in submission.

It is about such a situation say, when using the refrain that "women are always more than one child than it is". That is, she has real children, and a husband, who is also the child of a child.

Many men and many women, this annoying situation and I understand why. In these "parent-child relationship" very little pleasure and joy. More tension and coercion.

How to get out of them? In this one post just to tell, of course, but to care instead of opekane — allows to add maturity to the relationship.

So, not to be a mother to your husband, dear women, not to be a daddy to his wife, dear men, you just need to give up custody and switch to care.

The question may arise — does all of the above is that any care is bad? No, it doesn't. Sometimes it is very nice when the person behind you decides that you need to lay a blanket and/or bring hot tea. Or, say, buying a gift that you yourself would never have dared to buy.

 

You icon is interesting:

Don't throw yourself!

When you're alone

 

But — sometimes. That is — from time to time. That is — rarely. That is — not every time. That is — well, you understand. Sometimes that means it "sometimes".

If you want, care should be 98%, and care — 2%. And the only way — if I wasn't the most emphatic psychologist in the world!

Total — if you want equal marriage, use care and avoid care. Will be better. published

Author: Pavel Zygmantovich

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: pravotnosheniya.info/Lyudi-ne-umeyut-zabotitsya-o-blizkih-3902.html