Why dream of a friendly family Bashny.Net

When children appear in the family, the life of the spouses changes greatly. There seems to be no one more precious now than that little lump of joy so much like you. During this period, spouses often forget that the feelings between them have not gone away and should be maintained regardless of the love for the child.





Sometimes people don’t realize it, even if they only have one child. What if there are eight? Archpriest Pavel Plotnikov knows this firsthand. And today's edition. "Site" share history of his large family and the wisdom of life.

Protopriest Pavel Plotnikov and his wife Hope have 8 children. Family is their main hobby. Parents work to create a happy atmosphere. They both say they love each other more than they love their children, but they devote their lives to them. Archpriest kindly shared the main principles of education and love that reign in their family.

The archpriest met his future wife while studying at the Tobolsk seminary. They met on the train, returning from a trip to Diveevo. They talked the whole trip, his fellow travelers even thought he was behind the train. Then they parted ways, but the young people were destined to meet again.





It's been a year. Hope brought her students to the Tobolsk seminary for a tour. The escort for the group was chosen by chance: it was decided to attach the seminarian who first met on the way. Fortunately, this seminarian was Paul. So the young people got acquainted, and a year later they got married.

Father Paul says: “The period of life for oneself was very short and fleeting.” Until we had a baby, we didn’t feel the fullness that a family should have. We waited for our son pretty soon. He was born exactly one month before the wedding anniversary. Happiness overwhelmed us.”

Over time, the family moved to live in the hometown of Archpriest – Berdsk. There they built a house that slowly grew. Almost all the children were born in the same hospital as their father. For the family, this is very important and symbolic. Father Paul wants his children to live in this city in the future.





Cooled rice Only a couple of 8 children. The eldest son after school decided to become a military man. His parents did not interfere with his choice and supported his son. The second son is still in school. Daniel has not yet decided on the choice of life path, but his parents help him in everything.

Spouses do not demand an answer from children and do not choose for them. Father Paul says: My wife and I do not ask, build relationships with children so that they feel that parents do not learn with them, parents do not choose. It is important to help children make decisions and evaluate them.”

Dima and Ivan, the middle sons of the couple, are still in school. Vanya probably already knows who she wants to be - actively engaged in skiing. Dima is undecided, but he deals with tutors and learns well.





The youngest son Zahar is 2.5 years old. He already behaves like an adult: he learned to say “no” and “thank you.” All adults should learn that. Parents grow up a small but independent person who has his own vision of the world.

God gave the couple three daughters. Nastya is in fifth grade. She is a creative person: she draws well, plays musical instruments. Luba just went to school. She's more into sports like her brothers. The youngest daughter, Vera, is five. She grows up to be a good and kind girl.

The archpriest tells an instructive parable: In the Chinese parable there is such an expression. At lunch, food is first applied and served to older and younger children. While laid out first and last, rice cools and middle children in plates. Middle children tell us, “Of course we’re cold rice.” In the family, the greatest attention is paid to the older, then the younger, then the second older, then the second younger, then the third older, the third younger. Of the eight children, the fourth is Vanya and Nastya. They won't ask if I'm busy, sigh and pass. I know everyone needs attention to make everyone feel loved. I try to ask them, talk to them, hug them.”





Parents try to take care of children as much as possible and take care of them, but do not regret. In their family, that's the main principle. In relationships with loved ones, they are always looking for a middle ground. Although the father admits that it is not always out of balance.

If I promise something, I will stick to my words, otherwise I will be unscrupulous and other children will not listen to my words. I try to build relationships with children as with adults, I say directly: “Choose, you decide for yourself.” We were going to send Dima and Vanya to the training camp, but we had to give them a condition to achieve. Therefore, take care of children, but do not regret.”





To be carried away by the family of Protopriest is now the rector of the temple of Michael the Archangel. He has a lot of responsibilities in the church. He admits that his wife sometimes complains about the lack of attention. Father Paul admits that it is good that she speaks, not harbors resentment. To avoid conflict, we need to talk to each other.

Pavel Plotnikov admits: I serve in another city, I do not belong to myself, even if I stay at home, sometimes thoughts about the temple do not leave. So I won’t say that I get carried away with family, but I try.”





Every day Father Paul sets himself the goal of discovering something new in his wife. He compares his wife to a gemstone in which you can discover a new facet every day. If spouses do not communicate and get used to spending time apart, if they have nothing to say to each other, if they do not think about each other, it can end tragically.

People think that since spouses have a large family, they love children. Hope's wife always replies, "No, I love my husband more." We love each other, that’s why we have our children, who we love too. Children are the fruits of love between two people. You should always remember this and take care of your feelings for the second half.





We are very close to the thoughts of Archpriest Pavel Plotnikov big-family. We sincerely admire his family and relationship with his wife, few manage to maintain such warmth and intimacy after many years. Do you agree that spouses should love each other more than children?