Negotiate on the shore WHO in the family home

People meet, fall in love, marry, form families, live together, communicate, communicate -- the communication and relationship between family members form its basis.

In family psychology, there are different typologies of families and one of them drawn up on the basis of the rule.

However you look at it, but family relations are relations of power, leadership: dominance-submission, master-slave. On this basis allocate 4 types of families, but based on current realities of life I added the fifth type – gepatozellliarny.

Patriarchal ( traditional) family

In a traditional (Patriarchal) family, the question of primacy is not relevant – at the head of the family hierarchy is always the eldest male or a man. In the same house or apartment can live 2-3 generations.

The social roles of spouses are distributed accurately and without variations: male-breadwinner, breadwinner, guarantor of financial stability of the family, and a lot of women can be expressed in the famous three "K" Otto von Bismarck "Kinder, Küche, Kirche" (children, kitchen, Church).Such Patriarchal families still remained in the Caucasus, the South of Russia, where there are strong traditions and this can be attributed to deeply religious families of various denominations.

Some signs of the traditional family are present in the families of wealthy businessmen, but in this case, the Patriarchal, as I see it, is dictated not domestic traditions and the principle of "he who pays the Piper calls the tune".

Immediately say, this is not happening in all families and wives of businessmen, it is sometimes possible to create your own business or to be held in some field of activity, but most often the Nouveau riche do not allow their spouses to work, leaving them on the farm and in front of the kids.

Back to the matriarchy.

The current situation with the traditional hierarchy of the family is changing, and we often encounter different kind of family — patriarchally. This fact can be explained by changes in the economic situation, the emancipation of women and their active role in the social sphere, they become less dependent on men financially, and therefore more free in their choice of a life partner and in relationships with men.

And it so happens that he is not given this responsibility in the matriarchal family:

Husband hit the table:

— Who's the boss?


— Well, I th?
— Nothing, just asking.)

Geocentrically family

In addition to the above families on the basis of the rule, there is geocentrically family.

In this house the main Central figure is a child, so the whole adult life revolves around him and subordinated to its interests.

First and foremost, parents try to meet the needs of the child, while forgetting about their needs and desires or considering them unimportant and insignificant.

During the first years of a child's life such tactics of behaviour of the parents is understandable and justified, but when this process is delayed and then the child feels a little deity, whom all should worship, serve and obey the Almighty Superman that can make an adult environment to do whatever he wants.

In this regard, I remembered the story of one grandmother about how she stabbed her husband with a fist on the forehead because of the fact that he dared to take out of the fridge a tasty piece of chicken that was cooked for mnocence teenage.

Grandparent family

In the ancestral family, all the reins are in the hands of grandparents. It so happened that grandma more and more willing to take on the role of commander in the family of their children. Living together with a young family or one area of the city with the newlyweds, grandparents easily can at any time to visit their adult children in order to restore "order".

Nice that there is a wise, experienced, loving family who are willing to help a young family on the farm or with his grandchildren take a walk, look out for them.

But often grandmothers tend to completely dismiss his "irresponsible and frivolous" children from the education of grandchildren, and the parents do not oppose active participation of grandparents in this case. As you know that the older generation loved for grandchildren and are willing to serve them by anticipating all their wishes: "And what does grandma need? Of course, to spoil my grandchildren."

When parents after some time turn around and ask myself:

- Why are children so spoiled and do not listen to us?

It turns out that parents are already on the periphery of the family hierarchy, grandma became a major figure in the family and at the same time "weak link" in the process of raising children.

Although I will note that grandmothers are different.

Egalitarian family

In egalitarian (partnership) the family rules of Greek democracy!

All family members are equal and discrimination on any grounds is absent, relationships are built on partnership, responsibilities are distributed proportionally and fairly based on the real capabilities of each family member and among all households. Important decisions are discussed together and decisions are made collectively.

The upbringing of children are involved both parents. Spouses can replace each other in solving everyday problems: for example, the husband can watch the kids, cook dinner, or vacuum the floors in the absence of his wife, and the wife could probably hammer a nail into the wall and hang the picture.)

Relationships are emotionally charged and full of the positive i.e. family relationships are built on love, respect, trust and imbued with care about each other.

Not family, and sheer admiration! Unfortunately, this idyll in a lifetime is rare... Why? That's another topic for another article.


Gepatotoksicescoe family

Recently Pets (cats and dogs) living in the family, enter the family system, because it has an impact on the structure, interaction and family relationships. Officially, this family is not included in the typology, but in real life, these families are.

Once in the house there is a dog or cat, measured way of life adapts to the changing needs of our smaller brethren. Even family members who were against the animal, begin to engage and show your interest in them.

A vivid illustration gepatotoksicescoe family is a family where children have grown up and left the parental family and the parents give birth to a dog or cat. This may also include families who bought an expensive purebred dog or cat purchased for further breeding and sale of offspring.

I saw how the owners of a purebred dog, bought in famous foreign kennel barking at the Manager because he overlooked the dog for a walk that ate something from the ground and she had a disorder of the gastrointestinal tract. While loyally and without special attention took to crawling on the dirty floor to the kid, who could eat dog food or take lying obosranuyu a dog toy in his mouth ...

Reflection on a given topic

To have an idea of the types of family according to the dominant characteristic did not disturb anyone and we need to understand that life is much more diverse simply tables with the typology — we can meet different options.

Before creating your family, you need to analyze the parent experience: what was your parent family, who was in charge of the family, what the relationships were in the family? What you liked and what you absolutely do not take family structure and the relationship between parents? What train you took or will take their parental family to his family?

From what experience the parents have refused or will refuse?

What will bring new to their family relationships or whatever you want to change them?

What you want to see my family and what it will be or was really?

What model or type of family sees your child and what he shall take from the parent family in the newly created family?

Knowing the type of your parental family and your future life partner, we can hypothetically assume THAT each will bring in novobasmanny family, to understand the behavior of the partner, to anticipate and prevent conflicts, to avoid illusions and disappointments about their expectations from a partner, family relations and the family as a social institution.


The boundary of contact, primary psychological reality

A unique method of "laughing" pictures — learn how it works

P. S. of Course, it is better to agree on the beach to your future family boat crashed on the waves of claims, accusations, frustration and resentment.

But in the process of "swimming" through the sea of family life it is possible to agree who, when and how will pull and who will be at the helm and when you can turn the tables or give each other a rest, moored in some interesting port, stroll along the promenade, go to a restaurant or just to see the beauty of the unknown town...


Author: Lyudmila Jegorova specifically for


P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: Ludmila Jegorova


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