Bashny.Net
"People do not know how to take care of their loved ones"
Bashny.Net
I wanted to write this review bitingly saying that women can not take care of the men. Even the title came up as it should - "Women are unaware that such care»
. Then he repented and the surrounding five times to reduce the intensity of revelations. What is it I scold women? Derision-ka I all at once, one, so to speak, chohom.
Do you think that you care about the partner? Nothing like this. The vast majority of people do not know how to take care of in principle. And I do not say this in a fit of sudden misanthropy or just to be witty. I am simply stating a reality: people are not able to care for their loved ones. No men can not, nor women.
But able to take care of very well.
< Just people confuse the care and custody, the first substitute for the latter. People think that they care, whereas in fact this care is not there. She does not even smell.
Do not believe me? Let us then look at the Small Academic Dictionary of the Russian language. There we see that the care is "attention to the needs, the needs of anyone».
A guardianship is called "care of the personal and property rights of disabled people (minors, the mentally ill, and so on. P.), As well as watching them rests with the state on smb. and carried out under the control of state power. " About the power can be folded. The key is not in custody, and the word « disabled ».
As you can see, the care and custody are very different. Takes care of those who can not take care of himself, and, therefore, the trustee has the right to make decisions for the ward.
Caring - is another matter. Caring - attention to the needs, attention to the person and to emphasize special attention to his personal territory and borders
The difference between guardianship and care -.. Huge
Take a little anecdotal example. The woman went into the store and passed by the department of men's socks, her husband bought five pairs. What is it - the care or custody
? In the narrated version - guardianship. The woman behind her husband decided that he needs new socks, and he bought them. It turns out that her husband was incapacitated, could neither solve for themselves or buy. Apparently, very bad disease.
And how would look care?
The woman went into the store and passed by the department of men's socks, called my husband and asked if he needed socks. And according to his answer came.
That is - caring
. Exactly the same is true for men. An example can come up with themselves.
The scheme is simple: you see that the husband / wife needs something (or you think you see it). < You do not rush to do it immediately, but first ask
This is the adult relationship.
Why guardianship bad, I think, is clear. Marriage, as I have reported, is the union of two adults and equal human beings, and it is valuable. Adulthood and equality.
However (and this is noticed not only me), equality in the relationship does not occur very often. In practice, the relationship is much more common on a "parent-child". That is, someone - a major, and someone seemed to be in subjection
. Many men and many women, this situation is annoying, and it is clear why. In such a "parent-child" relationship is very little pleasure and joy. More stress and duress.
How to get out of them? One note: just do not tell, of course, but instead of taking care opekaniya just lets you add a relationship in adulthood.
< So, in order not to be mom to her husband, dear women to be daddy to his wife dear men, you just need to give up custody and switch to care.
The question may arise whether all the above means that any guardianship bad? No, it does not. Sometimes it is very nice when a person decides for you that you need to cover with a blanket and / or bring hot tea. Or, say, buying a gift that you yourself never dare to buy.
< But sometimes. That is, from time to time. That is rare. That is, not every time. What it is, well, you understand. Sometimes - it means it is "sometimes»
. If you want, care should be 98%, and care - 2%. And only in this way - if I was not the most categorical psychologist in the world
So, if you want an equal relationship in marriage, to take care and avoid care!. It would be the best.
And I have all, thank you for your attention.
Published with permission of the author
Author: Paul Zygmantovich
Preview: Sophie Black
via vk.com/sophieblack
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