Victim care: care of healthy and not so... Bashny.Net

Caring — healthy and not very

To care for others — that's fine. Care is a good way to show that the other is important to us and this is one of the important components in a relationship.

However, despite all the “beauty” of the act of caring for another person, from a psychological point of view, concern is healthy and not very healthy.





Unhealthy care involves a formula according to which "at one and the same time I can care about their own interests, selfish, or yours, which is commendable". Caregiver sees the situation as an "either your interests or mine" and selects "your" as more important.

This concern involves an indispensable sacrifice their interests, perception of own and other people's interests as conflicting and incompatible in fact.

Unhealthy concern is motivated on the one hand, a sense of inferiority, lack of "legal" right to take care of yourself without feelings of shame or guilt.

An excess of self-sacrifice characteristic of nedorabotannaya common in those people who are burdened by a chronic sense of guilt and/or worthlessness. And the act of caring, which is based on such self-sacrifice, there is a way to somehow improve self-esteem.

On the other hand, paradoxically, nedorabotannaya tend to feel their own importance, taking responsibility for another person's life. And sometimes, not taking, and taking away another responsibility for the life of the other. He feels an urgent need to be big and important in the eyes of other people.

Unhealthy care

• caring chronically sacrifice your own interests;
• caring care as it sees fit, without regard to what really needs who care;
• care care overcoming “no” victim. when the victim is in the care does not need and even opposes her;
• relevant interests cares are at an end, insignificant;
• care perceive their interests as selfish;
• caring knows better what someone he cares;
• caring refers to his charge with pity, weak, unsound, unfinished.
• caring feels awkward, ashamed or guilty when he wants, refuse other people to say "no".
• care feel their value only under condition of performance of some function to another/others like it, the main measure of its value.

Healthy care

• provides attention to the other person's feelings. Care worried about how to care was adopted easily. To the person who receives the help and care, not feel weak and unfinished.
• means understanding the needs of another person and the efforts in the implementation of its requirements. Caring comes from the fact that one about whom he cares, knows what he wants.
• is a natural manifestation of the importance of the other. If the other important for us, we care about him.
• very respectful of the fact someone you care about. The perception of the other as equal as possible.
• one of the bricks in the Foundation of a close relationship.

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.facebook.com/notes/%D0%B7%D0%B0%D0%BC%D0%B5%D1%82%D0%BA%D0%B8-%D0%BF%D1%81%D0%B8%D1%85%D0%BE%D1%82%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BF%D0%B5%D0%B2%D1%82%D0%B0/%D0%B7%D0%B0%D0%B1%D0%BE%D1%82%D0%B0-%D0%B7%D0%B4%D0%BE%D1%80%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%B0%D1%8F-%D0%B8-%D0