Sometimes we do stupid things. Not special, not beautiful, not thinking, don't know when to shut your mouth, prematurely slam the door. In General, a hothead, in which we do stuff. Often possible to restore the destroyed. But very rarely at the same time restored really match with what it was.
Usually mutual torture silence in the fight lasts a couple of days, a week tops. Both parties have time to cool down, to drink, to sleep, to think and regret about what was said. But some of the words and deeds of a loved one, the pain may not subside over the years. This is how to hammer in a nail into the Board and get the trail still remain.
I am not talking about the affair. To maintain the relationship after the last many succeed only in isolated cases, and most do not even try – too great a shock to recover from that and move on as if nothing had happened can only the strongest or those who decided for himself that forgiveness will be a lesser evil than to leave.
Fifty two million two hundred forty seven thousand seventy five
But there are words that stun like a slap in the face, and the things his irrationality, inadequacy, and surprise just knocked down. And to remember them, don't need a lot of time. Because they are always in the subcortex. Moreover, even if the words forgiveness was received, not the fact that then you do not yet remember. And not just once.
How to understand what the fight to speak in any case not worth it?Very simple: it is usually what most want to say. And the more you want, the stronger you need to keep your mouth shut. Because the amazing ability of "loving people" a minimum of movements to cause maximum destruction would be the envy of even the fighters detachment "Navy seals".
To talk about what hurts, it is unpleasant. Because always as living. So thank you to all who have shared personal and based on whose stories I was able to display the following list of phrases and actions, which we can safely assign the red danger level for the existence of the pair.
"You're nothing without me»
Because "I put you in this", "I'm from the dirt up". Usually everything revolves around money, communication, publicity, financial gains, acquisition of higher social status or moving to the capital. Also it is the sin of those who at some point had another major help (money or service) and to whom the crown benefactor gives now sleep at night.
Why it hurts: because that instantly devalues human life, its history. And it's not that easy to forgive.
Since we deliberately did not touch the topic of infidelity, it usually cheating financial: when secretly taken the money from family budget and down to the debts or invested in risky projects or purchase things, do not need anyone but conditional "thieves". Even worse, if the person convicted of it, is unlocked and is in a position of "I didn't, I know nothing."
Why it hurts: money is a guarantee of stability. That in difficult moments a family will stay afloat. The devastation created by the joint efforts of the stash, first, hurts, and secondly, deprives the other partner of confidence in the future.
"And the whole family you so!»
Subject relatives is forbidden. "And mommy you have the same psychotic" can for a few seconds to discourage your partner's every desire to continue doing business with you (and sometimes a common name). Blood is blood, no matter how was the positive family history of alcoholism, mental disorders, extravagance or debauchery.To protect her in front of other we have in nature – and to fight for them to the last including. In whatever complicated relationship we have with them.
Why it hurts: because the offense is given not only to you but also who is behind you. And to those who for those who for you. But this is overkill.
Eleven million seven thousand nine hundred forty seven
"Actually, I never loved»
No matter how many assurances otherwise be then said; no matter what is explained (by alcohol, common temper, stupidity or a desire to hit pobolney).These words enter the soul like a scalpel and stays there as a slap. And for years to come.
Why it hurts: because it is a direct attack on the most sacred – a sense of self worth and usefulness. And because of love for the order and click of the fingers does not happen, just as it is impossible to get into the soul of another and know his true feelings, in his "nelyubimogo" I believe once or twice. And then live with that belief, though incorrect, is extremely difficult.
"Why are you so sure that these are your children?»
No matter, pronounced this sentence on behalf of the wife or goes out of the mouth of the offended mistress. I think to use such a "weapon" a woman needs to be a desperate bitch and a fool at the same time. Because to sow in the head of a man doubts fatherhood like a time bomb never know when to explode, and very likely that will hook everyone, including absolutely innocent.
Why it hurts: if you raise other people's children, then you changed and you were deceived. I don't know the person who would be able to handle this news and not want revenge. Because to say so means in General to destroy everything that man lived for and believed in.published