Resentment is the scourge of all women, is particularly keenly felt in a relationship with a man. The woman takes offense at the behavior of her husband (her man), in his deeds, words, and when she's in a bad mood, trying to punish him for his aloofness and silence.
Many it works. Man is not stand the mental stress created by a woman and are looking to put up, gives gifts, and more. Not because he wants her to make nice, to please her, but simply because it has created conditions in which mentally healthy people may not be. He's just trying to undermine her emotional oppression.
The offense does not strengthen the relationship, it slowly erodes and destroys them. And to be offended is also not an easy thing
— you need within yourself to create a very creepy energy, to cheat thoughts are different, to be in podelena and negative state, not to smile, enjoy, and of course in the end, resentment is destroying not only our own mind and health but also the psyche of others.Many women know this, but continue to be offended! Why?
Childhood we had sold the idea that marrying solved all the problems, the husband should make the decisions, be responsible, strive to ensure that the wife was happy. And from us bribes are smooth. We need to fulfil his conjugal duty, to prepare to eat, to be beautiful, keep the house clean and to bear children, and the mood and emotional state there is not included.
Vedic knowledge is even more approved, he talked about the responsibilities of men and women. All clearly divided: the male responsibility, female softness.
Of course, a man can take the responsibility to create conditions of life for women, to give her the child, to protect her. But he's not responsible for what happens in her mind and how she perceives it. It's not his fault completely. We shift responsibility for our mind to men, although this is not their area of influence.
As a young man my best friend brought her a huge bouquet of yellow roses. He is an ordinary man and not know all the intricacies that the yellow flowers give to separation and so on. And when he's happy, appeared at the door with this bouquet, my friend was offended to the core, knocked it a bunch and threw out of the door. It took me an hour to explain to her that it was not malice that he is not aloof, he's just an ordinary guy who does not know the intricacies of flower etiquette, and that he wanted to make her happy.
Absurd situation, but I'm sure in your life too there were cases when You were offended at stuff.
Resentment, like many other negative emotions — is an indication of our personal immaturity
that we are not ready to take responsibility for their lives, not to mention the lives of others.When we resent someone, we give responsibility for our lives in the hands of others, we allow others to control our destiny, our mood, our emotions, we choose to be a victim!
If You can upset as to talk to the conductor on the trolley or husband would not look in Your direction when You expected it, or that the mother said something on the phone, or a friend leaked on You negative and You upset, discouraged, You have lost motivation and sparkle in the eyes, then please tell me who runs Your life? You or these people?
- Now please think of situations that trigger in You the emotion of resentment, anger, irritation?
- What kind of people?
- What is this event?
Just remember. Why, You learn further.
When I was in school Psychology, my wise mentor (bowing low he said a thing I well remember:
"Our karma (fate) it lies in our mind. We at karma are born with a certain mind, which creates our future. In the same situation, two people react differently. Someone will droop and cease to try, and the other will smile and see it as a lesson from God. Many events in our lives is predetermined, but our freedom lies in how to react to that — so we create new karma good. Between stimulus and reaction there is always a few moments in which we are free to choose your reaction
Remember, when You are all going well, a wonderful mood, and suddenly someone on the street said something or pushed you, You would be offended? Would You notice it? Will it be valuable?
After all, if we don't want to be offended, we are not going to hurt as you try not to. The word resent comes from two words "Hurt yourself", and abbreviated as "offense".
In my life was when I was holding penance without salt and sugar. We traveled and had meals in restaurants, carefully explaining to the waiter that I need food without salt and sugar. And somehow I'm very tired and hungry. My husband took me to a cafe, he ordered food and explained our condition.
There is like very much, and I longed for will bring dishes. And now, after 20 minutes, the food. I tried it and it was salty. Everything that we ordered. I felt a stream of unpleasant feelings and I immediately wanted to be offended at her husband because he ordered it. The husband immediately went to the chef and asked for the same only without salt. I continued to be angry. I was annoyed by the waiters who walked and smiled. They did not feel niakoi of guilt for his mistake, for the fact that I'm hungry and unhappy. I was hungry, but I had to wait. Resentment began to beat me!
And then I get this pause these few moments and asked myself "why am I mad at her husband? I don't hear what he ordered and asked for it all right." He did everything he could. And even after that, he went and tried to rectify the situation and suddenly I came to realize that I don't want to take responsibility for your life, for those unpleasant situations that come to it.
Much easier to shove on him and also with his demand. I looked at the situation and realized that shifted the responsibility for your life, for your mood on a huge number of people. There were so many that I manage couldn't. I gathered courage and turned left of my mind. I managed to catch a moment and I took it.
"So, Julia, thought I — you have a choice. First, you can raspryamitsya and offended at her husband and even refuse to eat, so he was ashamed. Second — you can thank God for the situation that teaches you to control your affections. Calmly and with gratitude to eat what will bring later. Third — you can laugh at the situation and say "Austerity is the wealth of Brahman." Fourth — can you still walk with your child and give your spouse easy to eat, and then he will change you and you too will quietly eat his fresh food. Think about which of the options will make your present pleasant and improve relationship with your husband and with God in the future?"
I became very happy. I caught this moment when going on the present and the future and I liked it. Now I use it. I want to choose how to respond to life. I want to choose those reactions that will make life better, juicier, brighter!
We can get married and obtain from her husband a lot of blessings, but he never can give us your mind and look at the world through it. The man can make a woman happier, but not happy
To be happy is our own choice.
It is Your voluntary choice to rely on the man and let him control Your mind or choose another response that will be joyful for all.All are in Your mind, we can call them if you want.
Not the world and people affect our emotions, we are free to manage themselves. We can represent any state and feel it as it happens when we watch movies.
We have access to all the senses, understand it? Our goal is not to stick to the people the label "you make me feel like this, and you here this", "If he would behave like that — and I'm happy, and if the other is upset, we can choose much more beautiful, positive response to every situation of life.
Please, girls who are married and who's available, leave the illusion that a man will bring into Your life happiness. A man will only increase what You already have! If You are happy — will be happier, and if unhappy, more unhappy.
We, the women, too, have a responsibility, first and foremost, it affects our mind, our mood, our perception of the world. That a man can control a woman's mind is an illusion, You know that its a mental trick we can "mindfuck" even the most courageous man. Isn't it?
Man is attracted by the mentality of a woman, her emotions, and this is the explanation that many ugly, modern settings, women are wildly popular with men. Because they are fun, they are lightweight, live, they know how to be happy and create that atmosphere around.So return a responsibility for your life and your mood yourself, manage it yourself!
Be the Housewives, witches in the good sense of the word.The next time you want to take offense, consider this:
- That will give me offense?
- What do I get offended?
- Can improve the relationship because this offense?
- Would a lighter and more joyful my life?
- Will become more spiritual in my way?
- Will you fetch me that at least some development?
You, of course, ask "And if one does really bad things (insults/ belittles/ ridicules)? That and not be offended?"
Of course not! If You don't take offense — it does not mean that You will now become a garbage can into which you can pour anything. I also thought about this and came to me a wonderful phrase "I'm not offended, I draw conclusions"
If people just behaved rude — You didn't react, he continues to do it a second and third time — what offense? Draw conclusions — why do You need a man in Your life?If You are bad relatives or close friends, understand, this is a sign from the Universe that it is time to start working on yourself and the relationship.
Resentment does not solve problems — it magnifies them.Refrain from negative emotions, consciously, with joy, with desire.
- Write letters;
- Do practice forgiveness;
- Learn how to talk with seniors, and Junior rovestniki.
- Make up your mind the situation as witch. Quiet. Quietly. From the comfort of home.
It's so cool when you can control your mood.
Somehow I remember has been a difficult day, and it was not the way I want. At the end of the day my husband took me to the movies. But the mood was lousy. And my wise husband said to me:
You know, it's snake all came together — like things are. We can't change the situation, but we can see something good in what is happening. You can try by an effort of will to change their mood from bad to happy? Just imagine that inside you there is such a switch and it should just pick it up, try it please!"
— Well — I tried. And I did it. I started around to notice positive signs from the Universe. It's like she encouraged me. So in good spirits we went to the movies.
And if You want to be sad (it happens that just a sad mood), then consciously sad, light sorrow, do not look for reasons, not pass it on people. Karma women often worked through using the mood, so if comes the sadness and You want to experience it, tell loved ones "I want a little blue, just for no reason" and be sad on your health.published
Author: Julia Sudakova