Resentment as a tool for self-exploration Bashny.Net

One of the themes, giving a rich ground for self - resentment. Here like everything is clear about it. And the sea of ​​books and articles read, and a huge internal work has been done, but still a no-no, yes and tsapanet anything. And sometimes it is not directly a child to grab.

So recently so I grab that my attention again to this theme launched. And I looked at everything a little different perspective than that and want to share.




In that procedure, which take in dealing with grievances, we go out, the sound of our claim against the offender.

For example, "I do not appreciate", "with me are not considered", "I do not listen, do not see, do not see", etc. - Everyone finds their sound

. So, I immediately saw that offense very precisely indicates our need or need (the word for me is preferred). For example, offended by the fact that I do not respect, I can thus understand what really needs now is to respect. Offended that do not have enough love (like less than the other, do not like to do, etc.) I can see how much I'm looking for love. And this awareness of their needs at the moment is very unpleasant. Painful feeling weak, vulnerable, dependent on someone or something; realize that to me is not all right, I need the support of foreign support in confirming his goodness (the importance, value, etc.).

And then, if this need to realize that we have the opportunity to meet with their feelings, with their pain. Then we can be honest and open and ask the offender to be with us Waterside, because we are very vulnerable. And when we feel ourselves in power, we will be able to deal with this situation and work it. All this we can do instead of being offended.

But to take offense - pursed his lips, to appoint the perpetrator and begin to twist in his head endless conversations with the offender and options revenge - it is easier and less painful. And safer. Do not meet with his vulnerability, do not feel the pain, do not (offense prick short) open towards the other. But then it is necessary to understand that we have become victims.

On the machine always works more simple and easy option. But we may at any time to return to the more expensive, but more honest and truly liberating.

And another thought as hypothesis: expectations of others 'right' attitude to us, shows us a lack of self-acceptance:

grudge against disrespect helps to see the lack of self-esteem,
insult to dislike makes it possible to discern a lack of self-love,
resentment "I do not appreciate" - a lack of self-worth

. And then it is also the material for research and further work.

Author: Julia Zelikman