"Olga, do not be so greedy! Give your rabbit Pete! You're sorry that there? "- These phrases can often be heard on playgrounds
Factor first. Every mom wants to grow a healthy member of society, so she struggles to develop her baby generosity and decency.
The second factor. In addition to the positive intentions of my mother still has a sense of guilt and fear of stigma: "What if everyone will think now that I have your child bring up bad ...!»
Plus a third factor. "Cosi fan tutte and mother, I do not know why it is bad, and do not know how you can in a different way!" - The social standards of behavior developed over many years
Let's see where it leads. Olechka, to listen to my mother rabbit gives Pete. Mom praises her: "That's my good girl!" Ole did not want to give him, her rabbit yesterday presented the Pope, and the gift - a piece of my father's love, which quite well, did not want to leave, even for a moment
Bunny - its jewel. Therefore, it hurt a little, but she left this emotion in itself. After all, my mother said that it is necessary to give a toy. Otherwise, it would be greedy, that is a bad girl. And it is bad do not want to! After all the bad girls nobody likes.
Neither the mother nor Olechka have not noticed, but the baby had already started to form a scenario in which she will live, "If you do not want to pass a bad girl, you need to give even your favorite things, including, if you do bring the pain - and only this case, you will love. And if you do not give it, you have to feel guilty, to punish
Typically, the formation of the script must be somewhat repetitive situations, but sometimes it is enough and one highly emotional scene, for example, where a child who is already crying and did not want to give away a toy, take it by force, or, alternatively, take favorite thing, which has already establish an emotional connection, and a promise to return, but did not return.
And our Olechka grows into a beautiful woman, very kind and generous. So kind and generous, that will give the last penny, does not leave. All - children and husband, if something remains - parents, friends, colleagues at work, in extreme cases, kitties in the stairwell. "Himself? Yes you! I have a lot of something and do not have to! If only you were good! »
At first, this Olga all love, then begin to use all and sundry. Husband "sits on the neck", is not working properly, fewer children are grateful, even the parents - and they always something demanding. She would have been WANT SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF !!! Spend money on yourself! And sometimes it "breaks" - buys an expensive dress, and then she herself punishes himself with guilt, "Why bought? So much for the family could do with the money! ... »
Perhaps someone has already found himself in this picture. This is not the happiest version of life, agree? We are able to put in our children a healthy scenario. Parents of a child - it's the greatest authority, practically, God and Goddess, so their words are perceived as a direct indication of the rest of his life. That is why psychologists recommend very careful about how we educate children, tell them how to act suggested.
The scenario of poverty, or why not encourage your child to share toys
How to be in such situations, when the child does not want to share his toys? Think about how you would do if your husband gave an expensive purse "of Dior", and a friend to see her you began to ask her to "play" a couple of weeks? Most likely, you would have given up her softly. Because this is, firstly, the husband a gift, and secondly, it is now your "jewel", as the hare -. For Olechka
Allow your child not to share, leave the toy itself. With stranger child will understand his mother, they have their own life. Most diplomatic option - is to bring extra toys that can quickly deliver a demanding child, neighbor, instead of your bunny Oli. And the wolves are fed and the sheep are safe.
I wish you good luck on the way! Together, we can develop a new happy generation of successful and healthy people!
Author: Elvira Smirnova