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4 things that make us immature
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- We can not observe without evaluation.
- We confuse feelings with thoughts.
- We do not distinguish between the needs of families. We even do not understand their needs.
- We can not ask others to help us meet our needs.
So 98% of people live. Their way of life is called codependency. Retrain - means to become a mature person.
Maturity is said Fritz Perls - a shift from the search of foreign support and encouragement to maintain themselves and the ability to support themselves and others
. Imagine that you can:
1. Watch what is happening without evaluation.
Krishnamurti once remarked that observing without evaluation - is the highest form of human thought
. What's happening? If you can answer this question without judgment, the use of adverbs, recognizing only the facts, you already stand on the way out of the problem state. Because the problem - a condition in which there is no clarity, what is really going on around and within us. Clarity gives courage. And fearlessness of survival leads to prosperity.
< 2. To distinguish their own feelings from the feelings and opinions of others.
Feelings are people like Navigator, points the way to meet the needs.
For example, fear tells us that we are not dominating the situation and because there is no security.
Anger zooms us of our impotence to cope with what is happening and about the loss of control.
The desire to save someone there when we do not trust other people and want to build a space for them.
Negative emotions - is a response to an unmet need in the past
. Allow yourself to experience the whole range of feelings - it means to become aware of their needs, meet their parents, many of whom were forbidden
. For example, a father tells his son: "You are still a puppy to his father to indicate what to do. And not zyrkaet so, and then to the neck in a moment shlopochesh! »
And the son crushes his rage from a sense of injustice and hide a grudge against his father for his lack of respect for his personality.
< 3. Understand the needs of self and other.
People - material beings, which the body requires warmth, security, food, water, air, caress, love and purity
. At a time when there is a conflict between human beings, they are just different ways of looking to satisfy the same needs. If you understand the other and help him to reach their own satisfaction of his needs, voluntarily or involuntarily, he will search for your company. That is, you will become for him not just a desirable person, you will influence him.
Just because next to you, he will feel like a hero of his life.
< 4. Is requested to close so that they understand your needs.
In our codependent world for thousands of years the common people were forbidden to ask for something for yourself. Language of requests confused with the language of threats, demands, hints.
Men consider requests humiliation. Women want to guess no requests at all.
The ability to express the request so that it enriches both sides, so the great thing is that the person who knows how to do it awaits a great career diplomat, businessman and a lucky fate.
Express clearly what you want, do not hesitate, awkwardness and arrogance, and the moment people will consider you charismatic, harmonious, desirable personality, full of charm and magnetism.
In any situation, answer yourself the 4 questions and start to feel better and better:
- What is happening
The answers to these questions lead to maturity and to a life full of love and abundance.
I wrote this article is a brief distillation of the one-day training on "Femininity eyes of men. The irresistible charisma of men eyed women »).
I write a lot, they can not come to the training of family, financial and other circumstances. But knowledge and skills, dockable this training is so important that I want to share them. We may never be crossed physically, but we have met now, as people needed each other.
© Agris
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Hayao Miyazaki. Animator of God
