Secrets of the FBI Instructor: How to Persuade Anyone that You Need

Have you noticed sometimes that when you're trying to influence the human persuasion, he allegedly deliberately seeks to do the opposite? This is the most common, psychologists say. Most people regard your approach as the intrusiveness and involuntarily trying to fight back.

But if you know some tricks, you can achieve anything from the man, says Mark Goulston, a prominent psychiatrist, best-selling author and business consultant of major corporations including IBM and Goldman Sachs.

At one time he was the most unusual way coached by FBI agents and police officers: portrayed suicide, ready to shoot yourself in the skull, and those were to persuade him not to do so. But, according to Goulston, it was possible to nobody, and he invariably "shoots».

As it was necessary to act? At the request of the scientist gave Business Insider 5 key tips that will work not only in emergencies but also in everyday communication with colleagues, superiors and family.

< 1. Give them to say

Once you have hinted subtly or directly addressed his request, Keep silence, and then let them speak. So the sides themselves will understand the urgency of your request, and you do not have to convince. If you force them to listen to your arguments in silence, they either miss a deaf ear to all, or decide that you decided to specify them. Of course, they immediately rashochetsya do anything for you.

< 2. As they say, mark adjectives and adverbs

These parts of speech - important emotional indicators that will help you discover the interlocutor. For example, he described in his reply your idea as "wonderful." Remember this, and when he asks you a question, repeat it the same word: "Now I will answer, but first I would like to say a few words about this wonderful project ..." So people will understand that you listened to him, "imbued" to you and will be revealed more than if you had just answered his question. And the more people you open, the more drawn into the conversation and the more likely you are listening.

< 3. Call the positive association

Believe it or not, but all your actions, words and requests almost always make reference to the subconscious interlocutor moments from the past. It is important that they were positive memories, and not vice versa. When your treatment is associated with something pleasant, most people will do what you want it to.

< 4. Instill a sense of comfort and companion relevance

The man immediately understand, if you listened to him only out of politeness, but would rather wait for their turn to speak. The bad sides always pull the blanket over himself, and can dramatically interrupt someone else's story to insert its "weightier" word. Here is an example. Do you share the idea, and in response to hear: "Yes, not bad, but I have already voiced their superiors project and it approved it, so let's better in my opinion." Who do you feel afterwards? It is quite another thing, if you get this response: "The idea is super! You invented the healthy. You can even add a point here yet ... What do you think? »

< 5. Focus on the future and not on past failures

People do not like criticism. When you recall their past mistakes, they put on the armor. So if you want to people in the future acted differently, do not focus on the past. It is better to say that in the future expect from him such and such actions, and that thus he, for example, will greatly benefit the entire team.



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