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What we came up with ourselves as happiness ...
When all is well (I mean globally well - nobody dies, there is a roof over your head and work as a source of money), many are beginning to overcome the strange feeling that can be described as a "cho-ta boring»
. As if something goes wrong and you do not live, but "vegetate". Like standing in a huge traffic jam, and like somewhere to go, but not moving.
But others, standing in the same row, somehow manage to have zachekinitsya for a lot of miles ahead - "in my apartment", "in a happy marriage in anticipation of a second child," "a stone's throw from entering the lists of Forbes»
There is what is called a "focusing illusion" - we focus on the circumstances and living conditions (presence status of things at home in the country, a large salary or social status), rather than a real person's life, having that so attracts us. We do not want to know about how happy that person or not, with any thoughts of waking up in the morning, if he has one who loved him devotedly and faithfully, if he deep depression cures, did not suffer either from abuse as a child, which left scars on poldushi - no, it's out of range of our human interest, we all have been cooked the rest for him, he's cool on all fronts, not fool my head, you're boring
. And I'm not talking about people with posters say, but about real people we perforce compare ourselves - alone or with the filing of relatives: friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, sisters, colleagues from work, children older colleagues from work, former classmates and classmates, simply "former" - in short, your more or less the same age, with whom you started the "other things being equal", but that the feelings have gone far ahead, and you remained to draw a goose in peinty <. br>
And here - a strong degree of exaggeration of how the possession of something can influence the feeling of happiness. Yes, winning the lottery will solve your financial problems, but it will not do anything with the low self-esteem, left a legacy of difficult divorce. Taken fight new career heights will outdo those with whom you have old scores in a game of ambition, but does not embrace you upon returning from a trip home. Lose weight by 20 kilograms, you still can be not attractive to men because in the same empty, fold, and cold, as it was before, and the birth of three children does not mean that the output of the decree the world will be kind to you - often have to start from scratch, and the lower classes, because for nine years in your profession a lot has changed
. We look at other people's achievements - we feel the "achievements" - and crave myself the same. By focusing on the most significant aspects of "success", completely oblivious to the fact that this is only the tip of the iceberg. The rest - the worst unsightly, painful, personal -spryatano underwater
. I believe: the point is not whether you see the glass as half empty or half full, and whether you want to drink. And now - a complex and beautiful metaphor: "There have been no scientific studies that would really prove that man needs the notorious 8 glasses of water a day." That is what we have come up with themselves as a "milestone of happiness", podsmotrev others - is our illusion. In reality, we must be prepared to ensure that they achieve the infinite feeling of euphoria does not happen, life will not be dramatically different, you will not die and rise again totally new.
In this context, I very much like lines from a song Jesus group Brand New:
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
'Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.
And if to choose between short-term joy of crossing the finish line faster than anyone, feeling the teeth taste of their own light, or soft enveloping joy of jogging at a comfortable pace without looking at the prize ribbons and other participants in the marathon, I always, always choose the second - me more not interested in taking herself to the weak, and to accept all that throw me out of the comfort zone.
Hi, my name is Olga, I'm 30 years old, and today I choose to itself calls that want to answer.
In general, I am increasingly convinced that there is nothing true, universal, works for everyone. What about life in general can not be thinking in terms of "good" or "bad" - nothing is a foregone conclusion, does not prove anything, can be whatever you like, experiment - and will discover what works for you. There is no "right" or "wrong" way, the only true way to live, approved by the Church and the scientists, Mom and Dad. "Cho is the boring" for a long time does not happen - usually in a month you wistfully recall the days when everything was stable and predictable, and you start to appreciate the stability and predictability, because you suddenly realize that the system worked. And if you happened to adjust its smooth operation - you're already head and shoulders above those who just sat and waited for the deus ex machina
. "We are starting to give preference to what took over, and we can adapt to almost any situation (with the exception of incessant pain) - to such an extent as to feel happy in it. That is, no matter the circumstances, we will be able to accept them and find joy in the new environment. This means that those potential opportunities that we are so afraid to miss those things with which we are so afraid of not cope, the work that we can gain or lose, will have on our psychological well-being is much-much-much less effect than we think . »
T. Crabbe. Insanely busy
Author: Olga Primachenko
. As if something goes wrong and you do not live, but "vegetate". Like standing in a huge traffic jam, and like somewhere to go, but not moving.
But others, standing in the same row, somehow manage to have zachekinitsya for a lot of miles ahead - "in my apartment", "in a happy marriage in anticipation of a second child," "a stone's throw from entering the lists of Forbes»
There is what is called a "focusing illusion" - we focus on the circumstances and living conditions (presence status of things at home in the country, a large salary or social status), rather than a real person's life, having that so attracts us. We do not want to know about how happy that person or not, with any thoughts of waking up in the morning, if he has one who loved him devotedly and faithfully, if he deep depression cures, did not suffer either from abuse as a child, which left scars on poldushi - no, it's out of range of our human interest, we all have been cooked the rest for him, he's cool on all fronts, not fool my head, you're boring
. And I'm not talking about people with posters say, but about real people we perforce compare ourselves - alone or with the filing of relatives: friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, sisters, colleagues from work, children older colleagues from work, former classmates and classmates, simply "former" - in short, your more or less the same age, with whom you started the "other things being equal", but that the feelings have gone far ahead, and you remained to draw a goose in peinty <. br>
And here - a strong degree of exaggeration of how the possession of something can influence the feeling of happiness. Yes, winning the lottery will solve your financial problems, but it will not do anything with the low self-esteem, left a legacy of difficult divorce. Taken fight new career heights will outdo those with whom you have old scores in a game of ambition, but does not embrace you upon returning from a trip home. Lose weight by 20 kilograms, you still can be not attractive to men because in the same empty, fold, and cold, as it was before, and the birth of three children does not mean that the output of the decree the world will be kind to you - often have to start from scratch, and the lower classes, because for nine years in your profession a lot has changed
. We look at other people's achievements - we feel the "achievements" - and crave myself the same. By focusing on the most significant aspects of "success", completely oblivious to the fact that this is only the tip of the iceberg. The rest - the worst unsightly, painful, personal -spryatano underwater
. I believe: the point is not whether you see the glass as half empty or half full, and whether you want to drink. And now - a complex and beautiful metaphor: "There have been no scientific studies that would really prove that man needs the notorious 8 glasses of water a day." That is what we have come up with themselves as a "milestone of happiness", podsmotrev others - is our illusion. In reality, we must be prepared to ensure that they achieve the infinite feeling of euphoria does not happen, life will not be dramatically different, you will not die and rise again totally new.
In this context, I very much like lines from a song Jesus group Brand New:
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
'Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.
And if to choose between short-term joy of crossing the finish line faster than anyone, feeling the teeth taste of their own light, or soft enveloping joy of jogging at a comfortable pace without looking at the prize ribbons and other participants in the marathon, I always, always choose the second - me more not interested in taking herself to the weak, and to accept all that throw me out of the comfort zone.
Hi, my name is Olga, I'm 30 years old, and today I choose to itself calls that want to answer.
In general, I am increasingly convinced that there is nothing true, universal, works for everyone. What about life in general can not be thinking in terms of "good" or "bad" - nothing is a foregone conclusion, does not prove anything, can be whatever you like, experiment - and will discover what works for you. There is no "right" or "wrong" way, the only true way to live, approved by the Church and the scientists, Mom and Dad. "Cho is the boring" for a long time does not happen - usually in a month you wistfully recall the days when everything was stable and predictable, and you start to appreciate the stability and predictability, because you suddenly realize that the system worked. And if you happened to adjust its smooth operation - you're already head and shoulders above those who just sat and waited for the deus ex machina
. "We are starting to give preference to what took over, and we can adapt to almost any situation (with the exception of incessant pain) - to such an extent as to feel happy in it. That is, no matter the circumstances, we will be able to accept them and find joy in the new environment. This means that those potential opportunities that we are so afraid to miss those things with which we are so afraid of not cope, the work that we can gain or lose, will have on our psychological well-being is much-much-much less effect than we think . »
T. Crabbe. Insanely busy
Author: Olga Primachenko
