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What is important to remember about the wives of their husbands in the decree
Many problems occur in people's lives because of the head. The head live strange ideas that spoil people's lives
For example, some men in the head lives an interesting idea:. If a woman sits with children at home, it is the clock rests and relaxes <. br>
Therefore, a man expects his wife to meet him from work happy and infinitely rested, fresh, fun, somewhere even tired to rest. Meet, clear, perfect dinner and he shall wash his feet (in Greek tradition). Okay, I got excited about the legs, but otherwise - no
. And a man somewhere you can understand. He vpahivat at work, most of the money from this vpahivaniya spends on his own behalf and on his wife and children and believes that deserve reverence on the part of the wife. Here is a quote: "What is it, it is difficult, is it? I came home - meet me as it is necessary »
! And as a woman none of the above does not make the man in the tragedy and confusion. The output of which can very easily be a decision: "She does not love me, she did not appreciate, in this house there is no love!" And then - lover, divorce, difficulties in communicating with children and so on, so on, so forth.
seat in the decree is the hardest test, far more difficult than working.
1. You can not control anything.
For the happiness of a person it is very important to control their lives. Control over their own lives directly affects the health, happiness and success in life man. And what is control? It is their decision and following them.
A woman sitting in the decree, very poor choice of opportunities for making their decisions and follow them. Here it is conceived in the afternoon, while the child is sleeping, do abdominal exercises. A child p-time - and fell asleep. It seems, and walked, and ate, and the child does not sleep, coo himself happily.
Or the woman decided to call a friend, a child is engaged rattles. Only the beginning of the conversation, as here - bang! bang! - Something is broken, baby cries, it is necessary to save
. This woman's life in the decree in times greater than that of men at work, and it's awfully tiring.
< 2. You have no result.
At work - the deal caught the culprit, curved faucet, route, and at home - nothing. The woman washed the dishes - again half an hour later mountain accumulated in the sink. He wiped the floor - again children spilled milk and smeared clay. No result.
Moreover, often the woman and did not pursue the case. She took the laundry from the machine, not had time to spread out - we need to change a diaper. I change - did not have time to return to the laundry, because the child has asked for. Nourish - child asks to play, how can we refuse? As a result, it is currently in the laundry basin, dries as best he can.
And when there is no result, there is no "dopamine reinforcement". Simply put, the body does not receive the awards for his work, and a favorite psychologists operant conditioning does not happen. That, in turn, reduces the motivation for such cases. But to do all the same it is necessary, no matter what the motivation. It oppresses and can easily contribute most natural depression.
< 3. At work - thanks, but at home -. Nothing
Well, when children are more or less than adults and are free to guess that the mother should be thanked. And if not? Thanks to man - an important point reinforcement (including the above-mentioned dopamine). No thanks - no motivation to do anything further
. Especially bad if the husband does not realize that a woman on maternity leave need to thank three times more than usual. This adds to the conditions for the emergence of depression.
< 4. Duration of work - more than 12 hours
. The decree - this is not only with the children to play and teteshkatsya. This is the house bother - there cooking, cleaning, laundry. Besides, it is also a night climb, because her husband get up early tomorrow and it is more important than sleep (and this in a sense is true). So it turns out that the time a woman on maternity leave is much longer than that of men. That, as I see it, a little unfair.
< 5. Reduction of communication and support.
The woman in the decree communicates little. It just seems that she has a wide circle of friends - such as moms at the playground. In fact, the situation is not so straightforward. The woman went out on maternity leave, it falls out of the usual circle of friends and, at first, for some time adjusting to this situation, and secondly, can not always find a fellowship that would be the same depth of openness, as something that before. Still tovarki on the site does not always allow each other to a frank conversation heart to heart.
It turns out many kind of communication, but the quality of it can limp in comparison to what it was (is, of course, age - this also happens)
.
Know that the decree - this ordeal. The very fact that this knowledge helps to adequately treat all the complexities and difficulties of this period. As many as possible to facilitate the life of his wife. Yes, the man after work you want to relax, well, and the woman also wants to relax. It would be fair if both will be a long time in which everyone does as much as possible. This parenting, baby, here like this. Remember that his wife is especially in need of gratitude and support, and to give it all as much as possible. < / regularly give his wife "furlough», so that she could meet with her friends, or even alone walk in the park (this trip, by the way, not a bad way to increase control of the area in his life - even a walk at least an hour a week, but in control) For women: to give her husband to read this review!.. Immediately, of course, did not agree, but then, when think about it, come to the right decision.
Published with permission of the author
Author: Paul Zygmantovich
Preview: Persenen Denis
via www.adme.ru/contest/photo2014/works/parenthood/412510/
