Unnoticed pain. Fee is to be near

Slap, bite, sarcastic remark, a silly joke, degrading, humiliating attitude and outright meanness - all these people are willing to overlook

. "Turning the right cheek, if you hit on the left", get down, not noticing, suggesting to myself that nothing-not was so small thing, it was funny to everyone laughed, and went on, what to focus on. "I'm not hurt - do not pay attention"

. Even hurt his sharp needle touches the hearts of even the telltale lump is not moving to the throat, and tears are not hot wave clouded eyes. "There is nothing. Everything is fine. "

How normal? You've just been trampled in the mud, crushed by dance on your body, spit, and a lot more done on top? And everything is fine?
Okay ...



At some point, a person amputated his feelings, which are responsible for the pain, hurt, for the fury of the wrath of ... separate them from themselves. "I am, and there is no sense." And here it is a rag doll, stuffed with cotton intra- "do not want to hit." It does not hurt. Everything is fine. Always embroidered smile on his face.

And if you still see the pain? If the offense is felt more as a feeling - grabs, strangles, reduces spasm in the throat, treacherously scatter my eyes ... but swallowed ...

"Why is he with me right? How could he ... I love it.
"How could she, and another friend called ..."
"Lord, what am I unhappy .."

Healthy aggression, the one that should straighten the spring and give the offender in the eye, wrapped inside, rolled offense and tunately themselves.
Or it becomes an instrument of self-flagellation.

Why did not it? Not to the offender?

Well, first of all, - it is terrible. A lot of that can be scary - and your physical condition, and financial well-being, and for all his after all, harmonious life. But above all for what he leaves. Or a girlfriend, the best ... And I remain alone ...

You threw a girlfriend? You were in a long school corridor Shcherbatov odinёshenka one, realizing that home will have to go alone? And tomorrow be the one to change, and everyone will whisper on piles, and to no one come? Then you remember that feeling.

And can you remember a time when my mother had just held the hand, he looked tenderly into her eyes, kissed cheeks in and stroked on the head, and you're distracted for a moment, because the teacher lured some toy, and bam - no mother! Where? Where? What for? Where did it go? And now I'm alone, all alone among strangers and a heap of others my children, and just an affectionate teacher turned his back and only the hem of her dress, and somewhere high up the head and hands. And still I am one. Nobody here. Or moments of infancy, when the most important and necessary man in the world suddenly disappeared. And a terrible, aching feeling of complete loneliness to fill all around.

In childhood and adolescence, this fear causes us to be friends with those who can not exactly call friends.

And as an adult - to hold fast to the hand of those who shpynyat, bites, hits, it makes meanness, to whom you can not rely, as my friend and equal partner in life who does a lot more harm than good, but it provides one - connectivity.



It guarantees the illusion of "neodinochestva". What-no, and attention; some no, and touch; some no, and the fullness of life. Neodinochestvo.

A man willing to pay them, the resources of his personality, his world and his body, only to this important subject did not disappear.

Any presentation of their interests and borders can endanger our "friendship" and "love", so I better not notice or offended, say nothing. There are mentally immature person who in principle are not ready to discuss anything. For them, the "friendship" and "love" - ​​a full merger, where "you agree with me in everything, and if not, then not at all." "If you do not like something, let us part".

Friendship, love, relationships - it is the interaction of the two worlds, different in nature. On the border of these worlds meeting takes place. Lifting the meet we change another person, allowing the other to become a part of our world. But there are internal borders, the violation of which causes irreparable damage to the individual. And then charge for it to be too high a number.

Author: Irina Dybov