5 truths about children that parents should take

I was born in the last century. When I was growing up, there was another country and had another life. Though now the things have changed, but to this day in the education of our children, we rely on the advice of their parents. But now all my experience of motherhood - a "look at my mom and grandmother, and do the opposite." And for several years now, I open your inner mother and frees her from the prejudices of the Soviet system of education.
Ten years ago I became a mother for the first time and since she knew nothing at all about how to raise children, then called for his aid nurse. I was lucky: I had the opportunity to learn from a professional to raise children. It dispels many of my naive beliefs about education. In particular, I saw for the first time, as gentle as possible, and non-judgmental mistakes take the child. In the second ten minutes broken cup, it just says: "It's okay." I felt as a child this was not possible.

Then I myself became a psychologist, and a second child raschu completely on a different level of awareness than the former. And above all, I "caught" at the most "Soviet" educational "cockroaches" that we were stuffed. Over the years I have accumulated a list of who I want to share with you:

Children can (and should!) dirty, play with dirt and "bubbling" in the puddles.
However, only with dirt, mud, or next to it passes the most important stage of mental development of the child.


Children can play with food. They are engaged in important work. They explore!


Children can wave his hands, biting and even fight.
I'm not saying that fighting and biting - is what we must encourage our children. I mean, all this is quite normal.
Toddlers are not able to express their emotions. Anger and other strong emotions just do not fit in their little bodies. The psyche can not recycle them. And it is our task as conscious adults who do not deny their emotions, and to teach children to recognize and deal with them.
Firstly, we are not to alienate the child in negative emotions.

Secondly, we call emotions.

Third, we learn to translate his natural aggression in human - verbal. This habit, incidentally, and adults are lacking.



Children can arrange hysterics In fact, hysteria - it's the same way to deal with emotions.
My daughter, who is now 10 years old, after a tantrum can calmly say, "Well, just such a mood." Earlier, while she sobbed and nearly beat her head against the wall, I have a lot of that time to think about myself. About what I am a mother, and about which I got a daughter.

Now I can not "break down", waiting for her feelings. I'm just saying that I'm always there and ready to talk to her after she calms down. Because emotion is useless to talk. And the knowledge that the next adult, do not panic and hysteria are not considered when the child is bad - is priceless.



children can be selfish
This does not mean that we should indulge children in all reckless desires. This means that we respect what we say and asks the child.
I often see parents say "no" to the many requests from children. And it is unclear why the "no". I can not find any logical explanation. But there is another fear included Soviet parents' Izbaluesh child - it sits on your head. " In fact, after this education not grow darlings and flawed adults with a tendency to codependency and trespassing.

Every year my mother, I went up closer to your inner child, who at one time would be very happy to receive such an understanding, support and acceptance of its inalienable rights in the mud, selfishness, insatiable emotion and daring knowledge of the world. And you know who taught me that? Of course, my own children! Together with them, I got another chance to live a childhood again. I'm sure that only children can teach us truths that we have forgotten once by all to become adults.




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